And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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At a huge bar only known as Castlevania... Woman: Get lost loser! Why would I wont pay you "tribute" you pervert! Man: It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh.... I was called here by humans who wish to pay me tribute! Woman: What do you mean? You are totally insane and make no sense at all! Man: Perhaps the same could be said of ALL religions.,, Woman: You are quite the nutjob man... Man: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk... Have at you! Woman: EEEK! Man: But what is this? Did I just attack a woman wearing a cross? Is your last name Belmont? Woman: Yeah So? Is there a problem with my HOLY CROSS! *Man on fire*: WHAT? THIS CANNOT BE! ARGH!!!!!!! Moral: Die monster! You don't belong in this world!

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Eyh! its me Black Metal, I seriously cant pay you right now son! Sorry if this comes late this page do not work for shit, (I bet thats why you pick this page you egomaniac son, If you was not full of em charisma id never do this alright?) Okay Overlord, I got your message, hell you know my sister loves you crazy crazy man, why the hell would I try to "hold her away" I mean fuck its banging, so yeah thumbs ups man High five for my sister, its you know, she was super shy before you showed up, now she cant do gym anymore (haha man you so hardcore) but she has lots of friends and you know... So am I absolved now Overlord Black Metal? Moral: Because this guy made me put this, man, you making me feel like a total bitch, good play son!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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Welcome to DIE!

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- You look really nice - I know

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!