Welcome to DIE!

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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At a bar. M: I so wanna sex you! W: What? :) M: What part of sex did you not get? VAGINA! W: You have problems with your heart? (angina) :( M: Stop screwing with me bitch! W: I dont have no itch... :/ *The man gets insulted and leaves* Woman: Cute guy, I wish I wasn't nearly deaf though... Moral "patience is a virtue?" Hell no! The guy got laid with 6 women that day so the moral is "The more people listen to what you have to say, the more you will get laid this day, and a deaf woman is a challenge if she aint your way"

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car I want to rape you

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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How much do you like peanut butter?

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greetings clarisse...

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!