- You look really nice - I know

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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Soon

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"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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your almost as hot as my wife

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Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!