Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

So when' the baby due?

Nielsen: Nice beaver! Woman: Thanks! Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice p*ssy Woman: Ah! Thank you! (cat meows) Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice wet vagina. Woman: Is this in the script? Director: CUT! Nielsen: What? Cant a man improvise? I mean OJ does it, and he is quite the nice fella... Moral: "Quite the nice fella" Yeah reminds me of good old dad, nice to everyone, and could take a lot of shit, but as much as I asked him how he was doing, I got an uppercut to the face and a nice trip in a ambulance... Started when I was 4, I crushed his upper Jaw in self defense when I was 16... ah... hmm... Why am I sharing this? Then again why not... When have I not spoken my mind.

Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

rohypnol. rape drug

- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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