If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

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You look exactly like my sister.

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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I have a gun.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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In a classy bar: KEEP IT CLASSY! Man: Hello there dear... your eyes sparkle like the sun itself... Woman: Oh... thank you random stranger, that is the most beautiful thing someone have ever said to me :D Man: Really? But you are gorgeous (the two proceed to have a long CLASSY conversation and laughing in a classy reserved matter and drinking classy champagne and whatever... and then: Man: Ahahaha yes that is indeed true... By the way... would you mind becoming the single lonely mother of my children? Moral: skipped most of school classes... class ... overrated...

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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-When you see the most beautiful girl ever, you take her next to a cliff, a manhole or whatever and you kick her off the cliff. Man: THIS IS SPARTA! Girl: Wow what a manly man! *dies* Moral: What? This is anti-pickup lines! And its not like you are gonna get the most beautiful girl ever anyways... Madness? THIS IS SPARTA!

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!