my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

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him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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my dick is 2 inches

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!