- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

Are your prices by the hour

Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

wanna go halves on a b*stard?

Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

Hi I'm Shaniqua.

Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book