man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

Your skin would make a nice coat.

The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

Your body would look good in my trunk.

-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

Walking to your car alone later?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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