Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

You smell just like my mom...

Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

Sugar-free sugar cookies

-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

Stable relationships are for horses.

—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!