Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

Stable relationships are for horses.

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

You smell just like my mom...

Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!