- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

adam burdass

Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

If you were on a shelf at build a bear workshop ....... I would stuff you , except it wouldn't be with cotton

At a concert guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

You smell just like my mom...

Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book