-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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adam burdass

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!