Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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