Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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This is what Nero calls for his "destroyer" not sure if I should consider that flattering, he thinks so anyways, he just wants to say, that why the fuck are people suddenly scared of looooooooooooooooooooooong messages on the interbewbs. "No leave it be, interbewsbs sounds prefect" Nero The Hero "FINAL FRESH" What Nero And Vagina shouts? :)) Something is off here but he has passed out again :)) "God woman, you suck at pop cultural quotes" Nero, the fucklord (omg, he is crazy, gotta love this guy) "thanks" Nero the grateful. "I Ask you if you know who I am by saying "ITS ME MARIO and you still do not know what name is? THe red plumber Nintendo HIS NAME IS MARIO!?" Nero The (fucking annoyed at me) :)) Sorry guys just having fun. "THOU SHALL NEVER APOLOGIzE FOR THE WORD OF NERO" -Nero insists, I mean the LORD OF DARKNESS INSISTS "Can we fucking stop making quotes of me now? All the girls are laughing at me, WHY AM I SO DEFEATED!" Last quote added without his consent

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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