Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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