Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

M: On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight? F: North Korea

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!