- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Guy texting random girl: u must b wearing space pants cuz ur as is out of this world no im wearing baseball pants cuz my as is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)