A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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Man: hey... you seem pretty paralytic and unable to move in that wheelchair ;) Woman: uh oh...well actually I can move a bit... Man: Good because I do not wanna do ALL the thrusting back and forth... Woman: Bu.. but... I... I do not want to... Man: Well if you do not want sex, then just run away... ;) FATALITY... FLAWLESS VICTORY... RAPEALITY!

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At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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