- Anti-Pickup Line

Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

Man trying to be smart: Man: HELP THERE IS A GIANT BOMB DOWN MY PANTS! ITS BULGING AND ITS GONNA EXPLODE KILLING US ALL! Nurse: ILL REMOVE IT! GRABS "EXPLOSIVE EQUIPMENT" AND RIPS IT OFF" Nurse: Weird this organic bomb looks like a peni.. Man: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG Moral: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRHhhhhhhhhhhhhhgEsgRSGRSRfRSfSFSr

Keep it classy! Man: Hello mylady may I be as rude as to say you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen? Girl: Oh, wow I mean such class! Man: Yes you see, I am only asking... You see, would you mind a bit of some violent rapage? Girl: How dare you! Man: Oh I mean not be rude mylady, just a bit of torture and some few stylish cuts with my fancy knife? Moral: Whatever you do, whatever you want, KEEP IT CLASSY!

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

Man at a restaurant (that is out of everything but bar stools and alcoholic drinks): Man: Die monster! You don't belong in this world! Woman: Uh? Oh! Nice tribute to the cheesy Castlevania lines! Man:Tribute!?! You steal men's souls and make them your slaves! Woman: Uh... well with most of you men lacking a spine nowadays... I cant truly disagree with you... Man: Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a savior such as you! Woman: Savior? Who do you think I am? But now I am annoyed throws glass that breaks have at you! slaps man Man: HYDRO STORM! Throws a flask of water upwards as it breaks on the floor splashing the woman... Woman: NOW I AM ALL WET! YOU MORON! Dont you know me? Man: Man: M-Maria? Uh... What happened? Shaft: Damn you broke free from your spell! But it is too late! Muahahaha! Castlevania has already become a bar! Richter: Well... that's fine to me, as long as Dracula does not STEAL MEN`S SOULS! Shaft: Relax, he is into business now... Richter: Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a businessman such as him! Shaft: Seriously! I invite you both at its VIP lounge and free beer to make up for the past mistakes... Richter: Excellent! But now feel my unbridled wrath!!!!! punches Shaft Shaft: Ouch! So... are we even now? Richter: Considering the free beer... okay... As they arrived Castle Barlevania they both got drunk and played "vampire killer" at the stage all night... Moral: Not much a Anti-Pick up line you say? Not only did Richter make a fool out of himself, but he also got her wet ;)

Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

Man: Dayuuuum slaps ass Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

haha

Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

Man: Pokes Woman Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: Pokes Man Well it's too bad you're not.

Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more... Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU! Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by" So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

Mario: Ey princess, wanna make the sexy time eh? Princess: With a fat Italian plumber? HELL NO! Bowser: MWAHAHAHA I AM SO GONNA RAPE YOU WITH MY SPINY DICK! Princess: HELP HELP MARIO I WILL DO ANYTHING JUST SAVE ME! NO BOWSER PLEASE DO NOT PUT IT IN THERE! ITS TOO TIGH... Shigeru Miyamoto: So this is how I wanted to make the Super Mario series... sexy eh? Girl: DISGUSTING! Shigeru Miyamoto: Well what do you think about the idea with Monkey Dong and the other girl tha...HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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