-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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I just killed my wife. What should I do?

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

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-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!