How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

Whatever I'll just date myself.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

So, you're a girl, huh?

I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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