-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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free candy....

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!