You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

thumb_up thumb_down -31

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

thumb_up thumb_down -45

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

thumb_up thumb_down +40

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

thumb_up thumb_down +8

HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

thumb_up thumb_down -16

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

thumb_up thumb_down -3

-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Boy : Gurle: hi

thumb_up thumb_down -23

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

thumb_up thumb_down -45

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +76

- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!