- Anti-Pickup Line

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

free candy....

Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

Girl: I AM SICK of being with you! All you do is invite me to watch sports, and all you have ever treated me to is a six pack of beer and snacks! YOU NEVER TAKE ME SOMEWHERE NICE! Man: Hey hold one man! Get a grip! What do you mean? Girl: We have been dating for over 3 weeks and you have not made a single move on me! Man: Uh... this is awkward buddy, you see I am straight and... Girl: I AM A WOMAN! Man: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? Really?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!! I mean you have short hair and the biggest mantits I have seen but... Girl: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Man; But hey, if you have a pussy that is the important par... Hey where did he... I mean she or... whatever go?

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

So, you're a girl, huh?

Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

For the males that do not know what I mean with "woman screams" comment below... well HAHAHAHAHAH LOSERS LOOOOOOOOOOOSEEEEEEEEERS! Moral: Read a book about females more interesting parts one day you lazy bastard... as for the girls... I am not talking about anything bad nor dirty... just 12 hour orgasms and such nice things... WHAT? YOU GONNA TELL ME THAT IS HORRIBLE? Well in that case you dont know what you are missing... and you wont ever know.... Ps: Can you believe I am actually trying to get thumbs downs but keep getting upped? Thanks for accepting my ever growing controversial nature, lets keep it that way and soon moral man will uh... receive a medal for uh... well a small keychain for... uh... you know what? Never mind.

-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!