Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: USA discovers they do not have nuclear weapons and then gives them nuclear reactors?

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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free candy....

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!