- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. Female: no, I'm from Idaho. Because I da ho.

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

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HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!