What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

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Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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free candy....

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!