- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

I'll punch ya!

Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

So, you're a girl, huh?

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book