-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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ANYWAY... I have been married for around X years right? (My wife is anon because reasons valid reasons!) And I told my wife "Babe, you know what you got married into baby, how about you and I consider having a third one in the bed... No not a guy, thats disgusting, you agree? Awwride! So anyways, she was like "Uh... Ask me again in a year I need to think things trough, and I want you for myself..." Next week we was fucking my new (back then neighbor) which is 28 or whatever (I dont remember my neighbors name BAHAHA (actual laugher)... Peeps, say what you want about me, ill be the one fucking the prom queen tomorrow... And you know, maybe someone else, sex with more than my waifu the prom queen is addictive, I mean sharing (salive, cum juices) is caring right? Okay, I better stop here, Rebecca (SHADDAP AUTOCORRECT ITS HOW HER NAME IS SPELLED... I guess) is upset... No not because I am typing this, but because I am out here freezing my ballz off smoking her ciggs... Man The great stuff about "decent equipment" is that I dont need all that much energy, just the speed to keep the girls screaming!

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-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: USA discovers they do not have nuclear weapons and then gives them nuclear reactors?

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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