Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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I AM LOVE! I AM LOVE! Moral: Seriously, I have never been QUUUUUITE this happy, shouting I am love is probably not the best move, thanks for your thumbs ups, thumbs downs, and while my work is done here, that does not mean Ill leave, I need to keep my reputation as the fourth, smoothest, aka pointless invention in the world, and unless you want to count that girl Justina Bitcherina, that means that I am the smoothest man alive, THANK YOU THANK YOU! And feel free to vote this down if you cant handle being thanked by the smoothest most awesome man alive. Hey, I get it, we cant all be me ;)

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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free candy....

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!