- Anti-Pickup Line

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... yawn Zzzzzzzmooth...

Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

Not a pickup line, but sincerity: Look for somebody you like, it does not matter what in particular you love about this person, so lets put me as the guy in two examples. Me: Lovely scarf you got there. Woman: Here take it. Me: Wow. Its no typical me to be into women's clothing in fact I do not give a damn about clothing at all, so I ask my female friends to buy clothes for me to pick up what they think I look my best in, I mean what is wrong by looking good in the eyes of your girls eh? but I must really have loved that scarf, because it was no pick up failure, because in this example I sincerely loved that scarf... Now this one. Me: I love that scarf you got there. Woman: Sigh, take it and leave me alone. Me: Here, have it back, I do not like the scarf, I like how beautiful you make the scarf look, are you willing to give me a chance, to get to know the girl that can make this scarf so beautiful? You are female and resist me? That is okay, you do however give me the motivation to become a better person, so that you might give me another chance, sometime if we meet again, and if we do not, thank you for giving me so much already. Honesty Pros: No lies Cons: I am experienced with being myself P Lies: Pros: Hey a free scarf I pretend to like yay? Cons: If you have what it takes, why do you then have to lie? Then you are not only lying to her, but also to yourself. And if your lie works, how many lies will you have to keep creating, until the fear of failure rather than the peace and love, breaks your heart and hers? Moral: Sure you know now you lie about the scarf, about her shirt, about her wig, and you lose a lot... But if you had to lie about it, admit it or live in self denial: You lost nothing sir! You never had it in the first place

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! Connection discontinued Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol leaves Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

I know what you guys are all thinking when you read my crazy stuff below: "That guy is crazy as fuck" My reply? Yeah I admit it, I get crazy as fuck when I and two or more ladies fuck for more than eight hours, my life is so sad. Anyway... I am chillaxing again, getting old here, not sure if I can go another round, soon I am gonna have to lie down and let the ladies do some work too... Wish me luck girls! Guys go fuck yourself its all you got. Anyway, I saw this famous book today: ALPHA MAN: LEADER OF MEN. I Lolled, someday I am gonna write ALPHA MAN: LEADER OF WOMEN TO YOUR BED... YOu might learn something girls... Where I live and stuff ;) You see I dont even lead them here anymore, they come to me! AND IN RETURN I COME IN THEM! AND THEY COME FOR ME! AND WITH EACH OTHE... ...Bitch opened the window (not my wife, our bitch) I am sweaty, the bedsheets are wet and... Rebecca is nice and all, cutest girl ever loved anal, but damn she is stupid. Sorry Harris, but you know your sistah has more curves than a racetrack... Harris if you ever read this, stop calling me SON all the time my bro from another ho. My point Harris, is that regardless of your sistah being smart maybe just pretending to be stupid, a girl with the face of an angel and the body of the goddess of sex dont need to use her brains DAD! YOU KNOW DAD! I JUST FUCKED YOUR SISTER DAD! CAN YOU HEAR HOW WRONG IT IS! YOU CANT CALL ME SON LIKE DAT!

-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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