Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

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I hate you already.

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!