Now this one is for the ladies: Girl: Hey there Alexa! Long time no see! Woman: Indeed dear, so... do you still do YOGA!? Girl: Nah I stopped after the YOGA FIRE! lessons and the YOGA TELEPORT! Lessons where too expensive... Woman: too bad! Can you still bend your legs behind your back though? ;) It looked so sexy... Girl: Oh well, as long as you can still do you YOGA STRETCH tongue you can come home with me and teach me a thing or two since I am just 19 and you are a 35 year old couger... if you know what I mean ;) Woman: Sure! I can teach you a lot of lusty immoral things ;). Conclusion: Girl: Not there... its hurts. Woman: Just relax girl, and it will work... Girl: YES OH YES!!! Moral: To show that my stories also support the ladies ;) Hey... its called the ANTIPICKUPLINE after all right?

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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I'll punch ya!

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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For the males that do not know what I mean with "woman screams" comment below... well HAHAHAHAHAH LOSERS LOOOOOOOOOOOSEEEEEEEEERS! Moral: Read a book about females more interesting parts one day you lazy bastard... as for the girls... I am not talking about anything bad nor dirty... just 12 hour orgasms and such nice things... WHAT? YOU GONNA TELL ME THAT IS HORRIBLE? Well in that case you dont know what you are missing... and you wont ever know.... Ps: Can you believe I am actually trying to get thumbs downs but keep getting upped? Thanks for accepting my ever growing controversial nature, lets keep it that way and soon moral man will uh... receive a medal for uh... well a small keychain for... uh... you know what? Never mind.

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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