Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

thumb_up thumb_down -24

-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

thumb_up thumb_down +153

so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

thumb_up thumb_down +5

- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

My therapist says I should meet new people.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

thumb_up thumb_down -49

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

thumb_up thumb_down -67

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

thumb_up thumb_down -81

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

thumb_up thumb_down -103

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

thumb_up thumb_down

did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!