I think I shit myself

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!