Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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I think I shit myself

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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I hate you already.

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!