In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

thumb_up thumb_down -31

I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

thumb_up thumb_down -41

Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

thumb_up thumb_down -61

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +10

hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

thumb_up thumb_down -42

Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

thumb_up thumb_down -46

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

thumb_up thumb_down -66

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

thumb_up thumb_down +101

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +71

- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!