I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Sorry Nero, this is still Golgo 12, I am trying to reach you here as the other place is down, I can see why some people consider you insane, sorry to admit I left the order by the time you left as well, Eliza was the only one that could keep up with your stuff, the rest well you know... So point zero is some kind of elysum now huh? For real? And you rule there? I mean I never doubted your wisdom, but six million people living some kinda new world order at point zero? Thats hard to believe.

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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