- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Guy texting random girl: u must b wearing space pants cuz ur as is out of this world no im wearing baseball pants cuz my as is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book