male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

you look like my mother

- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!