male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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ANYWAY... I have been married for around X years right? (My wife is anon because reasons valid reasons!) And I told my wife "Babe, you know what you got married into baby, how about you and I consider having a third one in the bed... No not a guy, thats disgusting, you agree? Awwride! So anyways, she was like "Uh... Ask me again in a year I need to think things trough, and I want you for myself..." Next week we was fucking my new (back then neighbor) which is 28 or whatever (I dont remember my neighbors name BAHAHA (actual laugher)... Peeps, say what you want about me, ill be the one fucking the prom queen tomorrow... And you know, maybe someone else, sex with more than my waifu the prom queen is addictive, I mean sharing (salive, cum juices) is caring right? Okay, I better stop here, Rebecca (SHADDAP AUTOCORRECT ITS HOW HER NAME IS SPELLED... I guess) is upset... No not because I am typing this, but because I am out here freezing my ballz off smoking her ciggs... Man The great stuff about "decent equipment" is that I dont need all that much energy, just the speed to keep the girls screaming!

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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