Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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Tenth year anniversary female edition: Love, for each day my love grows stronger for you. Too bad honey, I married a old man and was hoping you would be dead by now. Oh! What a shock! Do you really mean that? Sigh... No, whispers: I was just hoping that would give you a stroke that's all) What was that last thing you said? Nothing "dear" Moral: Cyanide, just mash the seeds of six apples, use a syringe and presto! Dead family!

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!