At a Bar for blacks... and whites... and everybody else... Man: I can last for hours in bed! Woman: *gets closer and whispers in his ear: Really? Man: OH YeeeeeaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH! Woman: Lets go to your place... Man: Meh, I am done. Moral: Oh YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! Excuse me I need to go change clothes...

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

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Man: Hey baby, I hear you are lesbian, that sounds really sexy! ;) Woman: Take the damn hint asshole! I am a lesbian! Man: Hey! Woah! Relax! I already know where you come from, say, are all girls in Lesbia this hostile? Moral: They are friendlier in south Lesbia...

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!