Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

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I'll punch ya!

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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you look like my mother

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Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!