male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

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Now this one is for the ladies: Girl: Hey there Alexa! Long time no see! Woman: Indeed dear, so... do you still do YOGA!? Girl: Nah I stopped after the YOGA FIRE! lessons and the YOGA TELEPORT! Lessons where too expensive... Woman: too bad! Can you still bend your legs behind your back though? ;) It looked so sexy... Girl: Oh well, as long as you can still do you YOGA STRETCH tongue you can come home with me and teach me a thing or two since I am just 19 and you are a 35 year old couger... if you know what I mean ;) Woman: Sure! I can teach you a lot of lusty immoral things ;). Conclusion: Girl: Not there... its hurts. Woman: Just relax girl, and it will work... Girl: YES OH YES!!! Moral: To show that my stories also support the ladies ;) Hey... its called the ANTIPICKUPLINE after all right?

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

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Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

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Is that a ladder in your tights or are you just a cheap whore?!

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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So, you're a girl, huh?

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!