Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

Your skin would make a nice coat.

- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

Hey baby, wanna make $50?

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

"Don't scream"

Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!