- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

Hey baby, wanna make $50?

You look... clean

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

Walking to your car alone later?

Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: Heart attack

- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

I have no gag reflex.

If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book