-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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Walking to your car alone later?

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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I have no gag reflex.

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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"Don't scream"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!