Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

I have no gag reflex.

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

Your body would look good in my trunk.

Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

You look... clean

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!