I have no gag reflex.

Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

Walking to your car alone later?

-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

You look... clean

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

you actually look alright with the lights on.

- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!