Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

you actually look alright with the lights on.

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

Drink this!

If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!