-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

Drink this!

- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!