-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

you actually look alright with the lights on.

If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

Drink this!

-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

Walking to your car alone later?

I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!