What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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Wanna have sex?

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!