Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

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Man: (puts on a stern face and mans up) Hey you random hoe, wanna have sex? Woman: Sigh... sure why not... at least you dont play games. Man: WHAT? IT WORKED? IT WORKEEEEED?! OMG truCKINg goD wOooooot wooooooot hell I aM gonna get laid tonight it finally worked yaehaieHeiAHEIHAIEHIAHE Wootowtowot I AM GONNA LOSE MY VIRGI... Woman: never mind, you are too noisy... Moral: Desperation... harder to hide than you think..

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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Hello children! :D

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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