Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

thumb_up thumb_down +109

- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

"Hmm...you'll do."

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

thumb_up thumb_down +134

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Man trying to be smart: Man: HELP THERE IS A GIANT BOMB DOWN MY PANTS! ITS BULGING AND ITS GONNA EXPLODE KILLING US ALL! Nurse: ILL REMOVE IT! GRABS "EXPLOSIVE EQUIPMENT" AND RIPS IT OFF" Nurse: Weird this organic bomb looks like a peni.. Man: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG Moral: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRHhhhhhhhhhhhhhgEsgRSGRSRfRSfSFSr

thumb_up thumb_down -69

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

thumb_up thumb_down +140

I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

thumb_up thumb_down -102

I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down -216

Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Penis. I got it

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

thumb_up thumb_down +63

http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!