Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!