violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

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How much do you like peanut butter?

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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Nero: My name is Nero... Woman: Why I mean you aint black? Nero: Sure about that? Moral: In the Darkness... We are all the same...

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Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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A modified classic, props to the original poster: Man: Ask me out! Woman: Ok, get out! Man: No no, I said ASK me out. Woman: Okay... will you please get out? Man: No but thanks for asking me out, I am so gonna tell your friends how I rejected you asking me out. Moral: When beaten... THERE IS NO BEATING! If negative people can turn everything into a loss, thinking positive call help you turn anything into victory. I mean Hitler murdered millions right? Arent you happy (Jew or not), that it was not you? VICTORY! (if somehow Pyrrhic depending on how you turn on it... But if you wanna turn a gain to a pain, go ahead...)

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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Male: Get in the van.

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Are your prices by the hour

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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