-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

Man: Hello there my name is... Woman: I wish you where water... Man: So you can swallow me? Hey not so fast baby! I dont like em fast. Woman: You did not let me finish! Man: Whatever, gotta go... Moral: Girls... women... you may be mysterious, but unlocking your secrets is my favorite pastime... I CHARRENGE YOU!... Then again I never liked women throwing themselves at me without me saying a word (not that it happens very often)¨ Ps: I see some other people have started to add "morals" to their stories, without success sadly, keep going kids, and people will always of course know who the real "Moral man is" because of the cheap nature of my fantastically silly and "dragged out of the ass" nature of my morals...

I have no gag reflex.

"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

Man: (puts on a stern face and mans up) Hey you random hoe, wanna have sex? Woman: Sigh... sure why not... at least you dont play games. Man: WHAT? IT WORKED? IT WORKEEEEED?! OMG truCKINg goD wOooooot wooooooot hell I aM gonna get laid tonight it finally worked yaehaieHeiAHEIHAIEHIAHE Wootowtowot I AM GONNA LOSE MY VIRGI... Woman: never mind, you are too noisy... Moral: Desperation... harder to hide than you think..

Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

Woman: Hey is it true you black men have big penises? Black Man: Hell yeah woman! Mine is so big, its at least three times longer than my fist and at least 4 times as wide! Lets go get some hoe! Woman: Uh... well uh... its just that... uh... Moral: Be careful for what you wish for, when fantasy becomes reality... it may hurt....

Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

Yo imma let you finish yourself off

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

-Want my number? -I already know it. It's 1. -Phone numbers have more then one digit... -Oh, I thought we were referring to your IQ level...my bad.

Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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