guy: ermm...i like blondes ;) ima blonde too...we r a perfect dumb blonde match!!!! girl: yeah but im the dumb one in this situation. and have u taken a look in the mirror lately?!?! guy: yeah...well...uhh...maybe.........no not really... girl: well first of all you got pimples the size of mars, you have cross-eyes, you nose is bigger than squidwards nose, and let me see ur d!ck...now!!!! guy: oooh getting right to the point!!! i like it *unzips his pants and pulls out his nub* girl: uhh well u aint got no point, it looks like ur point just broke... guy: well midgets cant help it!!!!!!!!! dont judge my falses!!!!!! girl: okayy...besides theres wayyy too much to judge...no point...ur a complete waste of my timee!!!!!!!! now go watch porn and see if it grows a little bigger than his little nub u got.

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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I've got candy.

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I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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sex me.

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Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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Sex?

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!