Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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The return of everyone`s pimps pimp! Pimp: Amma so cool I can piss on this electric fence no problemo! Pzzzzzzzzz.. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA... Moral: Its better to end a sucky character early, am I right or am I right? Thumb me down if I am right...;) Ps: His name was Tyrese Whiner XD you can read his fantastic anti-joke some pages down or whatever...

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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It rubs the lotion onto it's skin

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Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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Are you a computer technician? Because you turn my hardware into software.

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Male: Get in the van.

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!