does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Real life again. I was about twenty and things where going on really well with a shy Swedish girl... Me: Hey, my name is Axel, you know, like Axel Rose? ;) She: I hate that guy! Me: Me too! She: Are you being fake? I dont want to talk to you anymore. Me: No wait I really hate him! She: So desperate... (pats me on the head and leaves me feeling pretty stupid) Moral: Last time I used that one, I hate Axel Rose and I hate my parents naming me after that bastard

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

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If I could rearange the alphabet id put "I-W-A-N-T-S-E-X-Y-O-U together. SIr, not really but that was kinda impressive. Me: I know...

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"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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