MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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guy: ermm...i like blondes ;) ima blonde too...we r a perfect dumb blonde match!!!! girl: yeah but im the dumb one in this situation. and have u taken a look in the mirror lately?!?! guy: yeah...well...uhh...maybe.........no not really... girl: well first of all you got pimples the size of mars, you have cross-eyes, you nose is bigger than squidwards nose, and let me see ur d!ck...now!!!! guy: oooh getting right to the point!!! i like it *unzips his pants and pulls out his nub* girl: uhh well u aint got no point, it looks like ur point just broke... guy: well midgets cant help it!!!!!!!!! dont judge my falses!!!!!! girl: okayy...besides theres wayyy too much to judge...no point...ur a complete waste of my timee!!!!!!!! now go watch porn and see if it grows a little bigger than his little nub u got.

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!