- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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For you thinking what is that shit below this comment? Go fuck yourself, for those that wonder why I typed that excellence, well read whatever... So why am I here once a year and type a lot of insanity here? Because I am quitting smoking... AGAIN. So after banging two chicks (one my wife STEAKSAUCE!) I just want a smoke right? RIGHT? To chill the adrenaline... My wife does not smoke (well if you can smoke cock then she is still the best smoker in town) Seriously, Tina has Prince... That explains her breath ugh... I am gonna get one anyways for great justice.

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

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girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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