A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

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Do you believe in angels? Cool, what about goblins?

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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