Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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I've got candy.

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

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So I caught my sister masturbating the other day, it was like lol hahaha you filthy bitch! Then she was like DONT TELL ANYBODY PLEASE I WILL BUY YOU THOSE BOXING GLOVES YOU WANTED SO MUCH! PLEASE! And I was like, NUHUUUH! The bed is full of piss and I totally got this on my cellphone, so you gonna pull up your panti... Oh you still looking for them LOL! Yeah, that was the subject I brought up at a bar... Sober, unless Redbull counts as drunk... Anti Pickupline as FUCK! Players Dont Use RedBull -Richard Nixon or whatever.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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At a bar. M: I so wanna sex you! W: What? :) M: What part of sex did you not get? VAGINA! W: You have problems with your heart? (angina) :( M: Stop screwing with me bitch! W: I dont have no itch... :/ *The man gets insulted and leaves* Woman: Cute guy, I wish I wasn't nearly deaf though... Moral "patience is a virtue?" Hell no! The guy got laid with 6 women that day so the moral is "The more people listen to what you have to say, the more you will get laid this day, and a deaf woman is a challenge if she aint your way"

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Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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