- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

hey you look like a good practice girl.

"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

you look like my mother

(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch flushes the toilet

So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book