-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

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nice kid... want another?

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Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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Man: I can control all women in the world! Guys: WOOOOT YEAH! Me: I can control all men! Guys: Huh?? Man: What the fuck is that good for you like guys or something? Wait hey let go of me! Moral: And off the endless cliff you all go MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ladies, it seems it is up to us to repopulate this world, not sure if we can make it, but I shall do my best, but since I am just one, you better do all the moving, so I can conserve my energy.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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