Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

sex me.

When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

-Why is one breast bigger than the other? -because I popped it and all the silicone leaked out

Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

you actually look alright with the lights on.

If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!