Your body would look good in my trunk.

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Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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I think I shit myself

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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-There's a 'U' in beautiful. -Yeah, and there's a 'U' in ugly.

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!