- If I could see you naked, I'd die happy. - Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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- So what do you do for a living? - I'm a female impersonator.

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Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!