Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

thumb_up thumb_down +186

Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

thumb_up thumb_down -33

It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

thumb_up thumb_down +49

You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

thumb_up thumb_down +228

roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -48

I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

thumb_up thumb_down +70

You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

- Did it hurt? - Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

thumb_up thumb_down +115

Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

thumb_up thumb_down +63

-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

thumb_up thumb_down +314

M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down +108

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Boy: You remind me of the ocean Girl: Because I'm mysterious, adventurous, and romantic? Boy: No, because you make me sick

thumb_up thumb_down -14

-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

thumb_up thumb_down +109

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

thumb_up thumb_down +48

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +159

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!