- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

GET IN THE VAN!!!

Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

-Can I have your name? -Why? Don’t you already have one?

I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

so... you're a girl,huh?

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book