Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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This doesn't have to be a rape.

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sound of zipper

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!