Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Lets play the Yes/No game the rules are you can only say yes or no once to the questions, No. 1 Are you beautiful?, No.2 Are you Lying?

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!