Are you from Wales, because...well...

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

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Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!