- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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Im gonna rape you..

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!