Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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Gurl, I'll do you like I do my homework. Slam you on the table and do you all night long!

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!