Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

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-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

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Do you live around here often?

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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