NEROMETAL`S GUIDE ON HOW YOU! YES YOUUU CAN BANG 12 CHICKS AT ONCE (well I banged eleven one wussed out) Short version (Extra "short" version below) 1. YOU? YOU? LOL YOU ARE LUCKY IF YOUR HANDS DONT GET A HEADACHE WHEN YOU GET A BONER! 2. GO to your mom and say... "mommy, do you love me?" And if she says yes dear and you dont have pants or underwear on and your dick pops up and she stares at it like... "aww, thats like the nicest tiniest thing ever..." (Sigh yeah mother are like that, I know... Not really was raised by my big sister, banged her... (much better) Solvemedia: Go berskerk... BITCH DOES IT LOOK LIKE YOU NEEDD TO TELL ME? WHY YOU RIDING MARCEL LIKE A HOE? Ps: I bet Harris to post a comment with over 50 LETTERS here, he refused, so now he owes me about 1800 dollars yeah, because it was not a bet, just because he owes me cash and admitted that that is the reason he "aproves" of me banging his sister. JOHN "MACK" HARRIS FIRST OF ALL I PREFER HAVING YOU IN CONSTANT DEBT, SECOND THE FUCK IF I NEED YOUR APROVAL HAVE YOU SEEN HOW SHE STILL CANT SITT WITHOUT LIFTING HER TIGHTS A BIT? I AM LIKE "GIRL YOUR ASSHOLE IS TOO TIGHT" SHE IS ALL LIKE "PLEASE OH PLEASE OOOH YES YES HARDER" And then my dick gets squashed again... Ouchie... But you know... HARRIS YOUR SISTERS ASS IS NOT TOO TIGHT ANYMORE! GIVE ME A THUMBS UP... Uh... How to say it political... Nevermind, I call him niggs or bro, he is pale... Yeah, white, casper. HARRIS! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND POST FIFTHY FUCKING WORDS AND YOU OWE ME NOTHING (Your sister is mine "bro" she even calls me "bro", and since I fucked my sister which raised me, im really cool with that) Or else Harris (I sent him/You harris an email) Ill want my money tomorrow at exactly 12:00 am, or else some accidents, might happen to your knees... Nah... Ill just hmm... You know I am a lawyer right? Ill sue you for everything you got... ...Yeah because a guy that constantly owes his overlord money has so much to sue away from... JUST STOP BEING A CHICKENSHIT HARRIS!

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

Sex?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!