- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

Man: How much does a polar bear weight? Girl: No idea... Man: Me either... By the way! Did you hear of the great blahblahblahblah that did blahalblahblah! Moral: Breaking the ice... easier than it seems...

Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

Man: Hey, I've been kinda watching you through the night and I'd really be mad if I didn't talk to you tonight. So um, do you want to grab a bite to eat sometime or something? Woman: I'm married but you seem like a nice guy so yea... yea, I'd like that alot.

Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book