- Anti-Pickup Line

After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

Moral man: Hey ladies... wanna read my "moral man original jokes?" then you are at the right place! Just scroll down the newest section and you will feel, insulted, charmed, happy, sad, and all that stuff you always wanted! Except beaten up... Moral man do other things to women... BTW I used to write comics (not draw them) for STUPIDO once... well I cant say more... Girl: "Reads": OMG I SO WANT YOU! Moral: If you are gonna like me less (or more) because of the "infomercial" nature of this anti-joke, then you must be the kind that yells to the TV a lot, and throw bricks at the television when it says "this show is presented by" So just do it, prove you are a nutcase, give me that luxury.

Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

Eat me, I'm organic!

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: sparkly eyes So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... steps to whisper in her ear ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

At a bar. M: I so wanna sex you! W: What? :) M: What part of sex did you not get? VAGINA! W: You have problems with your heart? (angina) :( M: Stop screwing with me bitch! W: I dont have no itch... :/ The man gets insulted and leaves Woman: Cute guy, I wish I wasn't nearly deaf though... Moral "patience is a virtue?" Hell no! The guy got laid with 6 women that day so the moral is "The more people listen to what you have to say, the more you will get laid this day, and a deaf woman is a challenge if she aint your way"

Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... stabs

Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

He:walks over She: What is it now? He:Unzips fly. She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S , OFF!"

The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!