I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

Your body would look good in my trunk.

BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

hey Herpes Go Away!

I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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