A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

Woman: Ugh I wish I could remember who you are, I mean you could even have Aids or H.I.V... Man: Hey yo don worry, Dogta tol `d I am positive so thats that Moral: The H.I.V awareness group was a message: We will go literally f/ck ourselves to death have a nice day.

Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

Nielsen: Nice beaver! Woman: Thanks! Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice p*ssy Woman: Ah! Thank you! (cat meows) Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice wet vagina. Woman: Is this in the script? Director: CUT! Nielsen: What? Cant a man improvise? I mean OJ does it, and he is quite the nice fella... Moral: "Quite the nice fella" Yeah reminds me of good old dad, nice to everyone, and could take a lot of shit, but as much as I asked him how he was doing, I got an uppercut to the face and a nice trip in a ambulance... Started when I was 4, I crushed his upper Jaw in self defense when I was 16... ah... hmm... Why am I sharing this? Then again why not... When have I not spoken my mind.

M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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