I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

Wanna have sex?

Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

You look just like my sister! That's funny,... CUZ IM A DUDE

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

Lesbihonest

-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

Dont let this rape turn into a murder

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!