One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

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Now this one is for the ladies: Girl: Hey there Alexa! Long time no see! Woman: Indeed dear, so... do you still do YOGA!? Girl: Nah I stopped after the YOGA FIRE! lessons and the YOGA TELEPORT! Lessons where too expensive... Woman: too bad! Can you still bend your legs behind your back though? ;) It looked so sexy... Girl: Oh well, as long as you can still do you YOGA STRETCH tongue you can come home with me and teach me a thing or two since I am just 19 and you are a 35 year old couger... if you know what I mean ;) Woman: Sure! I can teach you a lot of lusty immoral things ;). Conclusion: Girl: Not there... its hurts. Woman: Just relax girl, and it will work... Girl: YES OH YES!!! Moral: To show that my stories also support the ladies ;) Hey... its called the ANTIPICKUPLINE after all right?

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I think I shit myself

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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-hey, come here a minute.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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