Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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Golf.

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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