Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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At a cemetery: Girl: This place is so creepy at night... I should have left sooner... Man: RAWRGH! BRAAAAAAAAAAINS!!!!!!! Girl: EEEEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man *takes off makeup and fake blood* Man; Well, I guess that did not work... Moral: If they dont like you while you are alive, there are always un-dead options...

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At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!