A modified classic, props to the original poster: Man: Ask me out! Woman: Ok, get out! Man: No no, I said ASK me out. Woman: Okay... will you please get out? Man: No but thanks for asking me out, I am so gonna tell your friends how I rejected you asking me out. Moral: When beaten... THERE IS NO BEATING! If negative people can turn everything into a loss, thinking positive call help you turn anything into victory. I mean Hitler murdered millions right? Arent you happy (Jew or not), that it was not you? VICTORY! (if somehow Pyrrhic depending on how you turn on it... But if you wanna turn a gain to a pain, go ahead...)

-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

http://pirater-gratuit.fr hacker un compte fb

Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

Your hair is really beautiful. Thanks. Can I make a wig out of it?

Boy: does your face hurt Girl: No. Why Boy Because it sure is hurting me

I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

man: wanna know how i know we're going to f**k tonight? woman: how? man: cuz im stronger than you!

You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

Mario: Ey princess, wanna make the sexy time eh? Princess: With a fat Italian plumber? HELL NO! Bowser: MWAHAHAHA I AM SO GONNA RAPE YOU WITH MY SPINY DICK! Princess: HELP HELP MARIO I WILL DO ANYTHING JUST SAVE ME! NO BOWSER PLEASE DO NOT PUT IT IN THERE! ITS TOO TIGH... Shigeru Miyamoto: So this is how I wanted to make the Super Mario series... sexy eh? Girl: DISGUSTING! Shigeru Miyamoto: Well what do you think about the idea with Monkey Dong and the other girl tha...HEY WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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