Hey wanna smash pissers?

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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- Ma'm, do you have a cigarette? - I don't really want one, I just wanted to start a conversation with you.

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Girl: I like a romantic man. Man: oh yes? Girl: Yeah he would have to sing to me... Man: Ehem... cough... okay here goes:Madness? Madness! Madness? Madness! Girl: What? Man: THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A A-A-A-A-A! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A.... Girl: EEEK MY EARS! *runs away* Man: Wait where are you going I am not even finished singing my youtube sparta mix!! Moral: When its hot, they pinch back, *wheeze*

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Yeah, because I landed on a mailbox, and hit the area between my legs really hard. It's a mess down there. Blood everywhere. And something's oozing, but I don't know what the liquid coming out is. *person who spoke first runs away. bystanders laugh*

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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