Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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At a bar. M: I so wanna sex you! W: What? :) M: What part of sex did you not get? VAGINA! W: You have problems with your heart? (angina) :( M: Stop screwing with me bitch! W: I dont have no itch... :/ *The man gets insulted and leaves* Woman: Cute guy, I wish I wasn't nearly deaf though... Moral "patience is a virtue?" Hell no! The guy got laid with 6 women that day so the moral is "The more people listen to what you have to say, the more you will get laid this day, and a deaf woman is a challenge if she aint your way"

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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all in all it was a good orgy

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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Man:Yeah, hey yo I'm feelin' like Ray Charles I got my shades on, I don't know where they are You couldn't find me even if you had a radar And I spit rapidly AKAR! Woman: OK ok so you claim to be Ray Charles and all, not that you look like him nor have the same voice... but tell me, how the hell did Ray Charles himself manage to get himself stuck in the ladies sauna room eh? Man: To catch the sight of them boobies! I mean... uh... I do not know young lady, I must feel my way out of here, I hmm... no, this is too soft and round to be a doorknob, and this one is too big and round... hmm... maybe if I try lower I will... oh excuse the pole its my walking stick which I keep in my pants...

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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Shorts and pants compilation: Hey you a cheap prostitute or just out of my league? Hey mom I just watched some more hentai today and wonder if you would... Why are you screaming? Its just me naked with a boner! According to hentai its completely natural! I mean I am getting to do you when I turn eighteen right? No? You are a horrible mother! I am so telling dad you wont give it up! Bitch, you like men that beat you up while fucking you? You do? Oh, my! This is like too freaky too me! *runs out girlie screaming* Dad, I watched some other hentai today and, I wonder if you... Moral: *Pants*, there you go.

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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