You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

Knock Knock... Who's there Want Want who Want who fuck

Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

free candy....

Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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