He: Let me be the reason you're up all night. She: You will be. I always wake up when I have nightmares.

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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Girl: I AM SICK of being with you! All you do is invite me to watch sports, and all you have ever treated me to is a six pack of beer and snacks! YOU NEVER TAKE ME SOMEWHERE NICE! Man: Hey hold one man! Get a grip! What do you mean? Girl: We have been dating for over 3 weeks and you have not made a single move on me! Man: Uh... this is awkward buddy, you see I am straight and... Girl: I AM A WOMAN! Man: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? Really?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!! I mean you have short hair and the biggest mantits I have seen but... Girl: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Man; But hey, if you have a pussy that is the important par... Hey where did he... I mean she or... whatever go?

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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I am typing it here for exposure which means I am no sellout because I admitt I sell out, just like I did not crash because I admitt I did. This one is real: Me meeting my childhood friend (a girl, with huge boobs... Which she had reduced because back problems... Fucking reduction pointless invention!) Tina: You where and will always be like a brother to me Nero. Me: Aww... Well... Tina: A fucking sexy brother back then... Well and now! Me: O_O. I am married, so I called my wife and asked if its okay, she said can I join? And well, why do you think I am so wired now... ROUND TWO... F*CK!

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boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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-I love you.

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male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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