- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

I have no gag reflex.

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! Throws couch at woman WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: dead Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book