Male: Get in the van.

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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adam burdass

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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GET INTO DA CHOPPAH! Moral: IM LIEUTENANT JOHN KIMBLE! I HAVE A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IMMEDIATELY! Whoos your daddy? YOU STAP IT! YOU IDIEOUT!

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

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Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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