EVERYONE ELSE

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't it's fine the way it is

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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Gaywatch starts

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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At a huge bar only known as Castlevania... Woman: Get lost loser! Why would I wont pay you "tribute" you pervert! Man: It was not by my hand that I am once again given flesh.... I was called here by humans who wish to pay me tribute! Woman: What do you mean? You are totally insane and make no sense at all! Man: Perhaps the same could be said of ALL religions.,, Woman: You are quite the nutjob man... Man: What is a man? A miserable little pile of secrets! But enough talk... Have at you! Woman: EEEK! Man: But what is this? Did I just attack a woman wearing a cross? Is your last name Belmont? Woman: Yeah So? Is there a problem with my HOLY CROSS! *Man on fire*: WHAT? THIS CANNOT BE! ARGH!!!!!!! Moral: Die monster! You don't belong in this world!

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!