- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

I take the the out of psychotherapist

Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

I'm your Edward and your my Bella

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book