Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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I just told Rebecca that the average man gets laid with about seven women during his life... ...She stares me in the eyes and goes "Noo! Really?" I mean should I feel cool? Is it because she has seen me with more women than... I dunno many, or because... Pssst: Harris... I mean you know I uh... Cherry pie this one right? Does this mean she goes around a lot doing a lot of other guys DAD!? (He calls me SON for like every third word, so yeah DAD... She is giving me a cold st... And she failed to take the laptop away from me, its kinda neat you know, typing while two girls cant share a... Well medium plus size dick... I mean... Wow they are making out... Imma gone forever. My fuckcount: Hell I know, when they say a guy bangs seven chicks during their lifetime, do they mean like a week? At once? Jk, I just pity the guys, for each extra gal for me, means one less for you right? Think positive folks, someone has to please them properly... Rebecca is like all "please sir?" "Thank you kind sir" (I hate being called kind) But in bed, she is all like FUCK ME HARDER YOU FUCKING MORON! Did I mention she has a sweet ass, and that my laptop is burning on her now... Multitasking: The key to threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes... I mean I wont say how many women I have done (rather been done by honestly) at once, why? Because you would never believe me. TWELVE... Eleven one wussed out actually because she just said it so she would look "cool among her friends... Poor little bitch..." Anyway, still twelve.

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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