Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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I think I shit myself

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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