"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

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Are you a unicorn cause u sure look horny girl:are u a turtle cause ur really slow ur the 10th guy to hit on me.....in 5 minutes

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

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-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Sorry to take up space, but this is simply my reply to the vile threats to that person whose line starts with "what did you say little bitch", know that he has no idea what he is talking about, and is possibly a simple mental case. Seriously, who the hell are you? And even so, who the hell do you think you are? Yeah with your terrible lack of discipline there is no way in hell you are or would become a soldier. You know very well that the navy would never waste its resources on helping your selfish and childish acts of revenge (or whatever you seek) Death threats will get you nowhere, and you can fully threaten me, but know that I live in Norway, and you can trace me and send your whole unit (if you had one) but by then you would solely be responsible for acts of war and be properly executed for international treason. Know your place civilian, we fight to protect you, do not shame us with your childish vendetta. Drill Sergeant Axel "Strength" Godøy. Aka "Moral Man" Ps: Threaten anyone again, and I will fill a full report and assure that your IP is banned from this network, you are shaming your people, your country and all that fight to defend world peace, try me out and see, give me that luxury.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!