- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

When you get her to your place I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

You smell just like my mom...

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

Guy: You look like a suitable mate and I'd thoroughly enjoy engaging in rough, sweaty sex with you and your lady parts.

You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book