-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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Actor walks in street... Woman: HEY ITS YOU! THE GUY THAT PLAYED GANDALF THE GAY!... Uh I mean Gandalf the GRAY! Actor: WRONG WOMAN! I AM FAGNETO! MASTER OF FAGNETISM! Moral: Please take no insult Esteemed Mr.Ian McKellen you are a fantastic actor... as for the rest of you, feel free to feel as insulted as you want... I mean its your own trucking choice :P.

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" *crying* "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!