whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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- You look really nice - I know

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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-Do you like me? -No

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Are your prices by the hour

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!