I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

Moral man enters a bar and spots a sad girl. MMan: Why so sad? Lady: My father died... MMan: And you want him to see you sad, from wherever he may be? Lady: No but how am I supposed to be happy about it? MMan: Remember the happy days you spent, because they are many more than the days you will see his gravestone, and if nothing else, we can always keep those alive within our heart happily, as long as we are happy in OUR heart... Moral: I would have called this meaningless bull before, but this is a true story, and those words are the reason I just celebrated my two year anniversary with my girlfriend, the most amazing girl ever... which just sang out of joy btw... I may be different... but if a man can keep those he loves happy, he is indeed a true man... Ok now she wants to know what I am typing, so I say nothing and put this self brag away, because I share with you, but heck, what am I? Somekind of romantic? Answer: Meh, I am the ever lovable jerk you may not like, but cant stop loving once you know me either... The anti-part? Dunno, dont care :D

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

Soon

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

Come lay your head upon my chest. (After a moment) Perhaps you'd be more comfortable onmy stomache (pushes head down)

- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh *blushing or something* Because it looks like you landed on your face.

Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!