- Anti-Pickup Line

Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

Lol, lucky you that this piece of shit site worked so fast for you huh DAD? Fine, I need no essay on her ass, my firm (well where I work at the top of the foodchain lets be modest here) sponsors all Samsung phones, so seriously ill get you the most expensive one I can find (its free, ill just tell them I need an extra one for, calling, but just for you, if you tell anybody else, ill just slash your tires. Man, I hate HATE sounding nice because I am not, but you can have that damn Fiat something (black car) that I bought from my ex, you take that instead? You still owe me the cash, but the car is yours (I never use it, and its you know... Bad, but still ten thousand times better than your car. Moral: Me? I just cant bother using my wives phone in order to call myself and find my own damn phone, so if you read this, you are golden. Oh, and if you want that piece of shit car of yours (cant even tell the brand can you? Seriously tell me) then you can have the damn money, but no paintjob, that car is, and must look like the trash it is. AMEN? Jk, Fuck Amen. Finally, so you want one with Keyboard attachment or one with keyboard embedded into the screen? The ones with the keyboards are usually a bit more pricey, but man, some of them suck ass, still I can get you like the one I got for business (yeah we gotta use fucking Samsung phones it pays well though) And forget your damn car tires, XD Im laughing here, some could steal those dirty flat pieces of shit, and you would be driving without noticing shit my whigga XD.

Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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