Hey, you want a ride?

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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You smell just like my mom...

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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If you were a booger, that'd be pretty nasty.

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!