-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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rohypnol. rape drug

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*on Halloween* Male: My name's Dick, and you're a very pretty PUSSY-cat. Female: I'll cut off your penis.

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!