"You'll do."

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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You look... clean

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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- I would go to the end of the world for you. - Yes, but would you stay there, please?

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if i see you naked i'll die happy Well if i see you naked i'l die instandly

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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Hey, nice shoes..... Wanna F***?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!