- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

He: Hey bay wanna danc- She: Leave.

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

I have no gag reflex.

Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

You're ugly, but you intrigue me.

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

How much does a polar bear weigh? What you don't know? In this day and age? Don't you have like google or something on your smart phone. geeeesh!

Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book