HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

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Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!