He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

thumb_up thumb_down -107

*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

thumb_up thumb_down +132

Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

thumb_up thumb_down -121

You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

thumb_up thumb_down +138

are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

thumb_up thumb_down +20

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

thumb_up thumb_down +229

Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

thumb_up thumb_down +55

How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

thumb_up thumb_down +60

Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

thumb_up thumb_down +122

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

thumb_up thumb_down +176

Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Jdkfk

thumb_up thumb_down +123

Put the lotion on the skin!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

thumb_up thumb_down -101

Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

thumb_up thumb_down -71

Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

thumb_up thumb_down +186

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!