- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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Im gonna rape you..

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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Waiter- For you, sir? Male: I'll have a Strawberry Daquiri, non-alcoholic, please. Waiter- And, for your company? Male: For her, a long-island-iced-tea, with a twist of Rohypnol.

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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Guy: Theres this girl and Ive been meaning to ask her something... Girl: I bet I know who it is ;D Guy: Oh good. So is your mom available on Friday?

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

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- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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Me: Hey lady, you are so fucking hot I want to... Lady: FUCK ME PLEASE ME SO HORNY! Moral: One can always dream... *yawn* Zzzzzzzmooth...

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Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

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-Get in the Van

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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