You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

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I'm a black belt at pretty much everything, Karate, Larate, Jiu-Jitsu, Kickpunching, Beltmaking, Taekwondo.........bedroom...|:D ~Rick, the Adventure Sphere

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

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why are you you touching me ????

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

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Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!