He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

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Get your coat love. I've got a knife

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!