he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

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guy: ermm...i like blondes ;) ima blonde too...we r a perfect dumb blonde match!!!! girl: yeah but im the dumb one in this situation. and have u taken a look in the mirror lately?!?! guy: yeah...well...uhh...maybe.........no not really... girl: well first of all you got pimples the size of mars, you have cross-eyes, you nose is bigger than squidwards nose, and let me see ur d!ck...now!!!! guy: oooh getting right to the point!!! i like it *unzips his pants and pulls out his nub* girl: uhh well u aint got no point, it looks like ur point just broke... guy: well midgets cant help it!!!!!!!!! dont judge my falses!!!!!! girl: okayy...besides theres wayyy too much to judge...no point...ur a complete waste of my timee!!!!!!!! now go watch porn and see if it grows a little bigger than his little nub u got.

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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whats up ho

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- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

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Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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