Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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Penis. I got it

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

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If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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