The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

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This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!