Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

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- Can I have your number? - Sure. Twelve.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!