Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

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.............. ............. ............. ............ ............. ............ ............ ............ ........... ............ ........... ............ ......... ............ ......... ............ ......... ........... ......... ...........

I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

hey you look like a good practice girl.

Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

are you on fire?

I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

boy - would you like to dance? girl - hell no! boy - I think you misunderstood me. I said you look fat in those pants. girl - That's why I said "Hell No!" girl - I'm trying to deny the fact that I look fat in my pants. boy - damnit! girl - Phew!

"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!