Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

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Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Do you live around here often?

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Welcome to DIE!

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!