-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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"You'll do."

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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are you on fire?

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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In a loud bar: Man: Do you enjoy gRape? Woman: HOW DARE YOU YOU PERVERT! Man: Uh... how about raisins then... Woman: Err... can you repeat that first question again... Moral: I would but I would have to bypass the censorship somehow...

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Man: hey... you seem pretty paralytic and unable to move in that wheelchair ;) Woman: uh oh...well actually I can move a bit... Man: Good because I do not wanna do ALL the thrusting back and forth... Woman: Bu.. but... I... I do not want to... Man: Well if you do not want sex, then just run away... ;) FATALITY... FLAWLESS VICTORY... RAPEALITY!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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Ps: I was signing books today, and some douche asked me: Are you that Neronism dude on Horsehead? YOu suck! Anyway, Fuck Neronism. Nero (the other one and his "peeps" are fuckups. (Below: Well actually Tina said if my wife can join, just as my wife said yes... ...And you would think that screwing somebody else after asking your wife is immoral... DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE MY WIFE BECAUSE OF WHO SHE IS? Its called trust people *cape flowing in the air moon in background* Trust! NeroMetal I play Street Fighter V, And am an author, and I guess I get laid a lot... AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT NERONISM OR THAT OTHER ASSHOLE IS! I just called myself asshole...

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She - Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? becuase your-- He - I did not fall from heaven, you ignorant little twat.

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As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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cockface

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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