- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Yo imma let you finish yourself off

thumb_up thumb_down +51

So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

thumb_up thumb_down +73

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

thumb_up thumb_down +86

You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

thumb_up thumb_down -136

Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

thumb_up thumb_down +18

He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

thumb_up thumb_down +142

Nice hair, can I pull it?

thumb_up thumb_down -27

I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +302

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Hey baby wana come over for dinner? Sure whats cookin? Your dead body after I kill ur ugly face derrp

thumb_up thumb_down -100

Still a better love story than Twilight

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

thumb_up thumb_down -82

Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

thumb_up thumb_down -8

-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

thumb_up thumb_down +5

H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

thumb_up thumb_down +33

-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

thumb_up thumb_down -19

- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!