The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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I have a gun.

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

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Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!