- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

Real life anti Joke mambo number five: Me: Hey wanna do it? Girl: I am a nun now remember? Me: Yeah but I always wanted to do it with a nun ;). Moral: She forgave me, nine years later :P

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

Hey bitch wanna fuck! SURE! Nah you too sleasy. Moral: And the masters of the universe.

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book