M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

I love Mark Wahlberg!

Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

Hey, can I have your number? No, I'm not a Jew.

He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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