- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

Business Y U No Advertise?

Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book