- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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How much do you like peanut butter?

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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- You look really nice - I know

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Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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haha

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!