Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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all in all it was a good orgy

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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A modified classic, props to the original poster: Man: Ask me out! Woman: Ok, get out! Man: No no, I said ASK me out. Woman: Okay... will you please get out? Man: No but thanks for asking me out, I am so gonna tell your friends how I rejected you asking me out. Moral: When beaten... THERE IS NO BEATING! If negative people can turn everything into a loss, thinking positive call help you turn anything into victory. I mean Hitler murdered millions right? Arent you happy (Jew or not), that it was not you? VICTORY! (if somehow Pyrrhic depending on how you turn on it... But if you wanna turn a gain to a pain, go ahead...)

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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you look like my mother

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" *crying* "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

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Walking to your car alone later?

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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