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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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-Are you Jamaican 'cos jamaican me crazy! -... *stabs*

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Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

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yo im will smith yo, thats my name and I was juzz wonderin if you ever you know like the beach or bbq because stuff happen yanno and while I do some rap id just belieeve that things are a bit crazy these times so I was thinking maybe ill ask you out right? But then I was like WHAAAAAAZAAAAAAAAA and... Hey gurl where you goin im just getting warmed up. Moral: I met the guy, day one I had a great day, day two I didnt get any sleep and now I hate him, the end.

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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In a classy bar: KEEP IT CLASSY! Man: Hello there dear... your eyes sparkle like the sun itself... Woman: Oh... thank you random stranger, that is the most beautiful thing someone have ever said to me :D Man: Really? But you are gorgeous (the two proceed to have a long CLASSY conversation and laughing in a classy reserved matter and drinking classy champagne and whatever... and then: Man: Ahahaha yes that is indeed true... By the way... would you mind becoming the single lonely mother of my children? Moral: skipped most of school classes... class ... overrated...

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

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At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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I hate you already.

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


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