- Did it hurt? - Yes.

HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

Damn you look good in beer goggles.

Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!