Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

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I have no gag reflex.

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Do you live around here often?

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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you actually look alright with the lights on.

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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