Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

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HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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You like peanuts? Cause I like penis.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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MALE: We can do this the easy way or the hard way. FEMALE: Excuse me? MALE: Hard way it is *zip* FEMALE: *gurgle gurgle* *scream*

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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