If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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Hey girl, I May not be Fred Flinstone but I can make your bed rock! ;)

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I hate you already.

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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I'll eat your poop

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

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Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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