You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

Are you an angel that fell from heaven? If you are, can I take a picture of you as proof that supernatural beings exist?

I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

You're like chocolate pudding. You look like crap.

do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

I love Mark Wahlberg!

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

Male: Want to hear a story about my d--k? Nevermind, it's too long. Female: Want to hear a story about my vagina? Nevermind, you won't get it.

Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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