"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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Man: (Ugh worst food ever). Girl: U like it? Man: I love it girl! Girl: Aww, I am gonna make this every day ever! Moral: Hey, if she got big tits, then keep lying.

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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Hey... wanna hang out with a guy that thumbs ups his own comments? ;)

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I love Mark Wahlberg!

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You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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Soon

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

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does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!