- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

Guy: You must put sugar in your cereal every morning... Girl: Why cause I am so sweet :) Guy: No because you haven't been able to see your toes in at least 20 years...

Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence

Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

Drink this!

Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

"Don't scream"

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

Hi there, stand still, hmm, hmm... Well, your tits are firm, lets feel up ya pussy too huh? Then your... other thingie... Why you runnin? Moral: Believe in stuff!

Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book