Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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I might not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!