Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

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Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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Real life anti Joke: At my school Me as a teen: Hey, I don't know me, and I don't know you, but we both live at the same private school, how about you come with me later and so I can screw you really hard? Girl: My God I love confident guys, sure! Me: Wha...what? That is not quite what I uh... You mean *blush* really want to have sex with me? I mean I am... co-conifden I mean confident but like really? Girl: Meh, not anymore... Moral: Must have been quite some time ago because it took me years to understand why she refused at the end...

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

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Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

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-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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Did it hurt? When I fell from Heaven? NO! WHen you were shot up from hell for stealing my pick up line!!!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!