-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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Man: GASP! Why is my penis inside your vagina? Why do you keep thrusting and screami... Woman: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ASSHOLE! Man: Uh... what where am... Oh... Forgive me, I am a psychic and I keep getting premonitions of the near future... Moral: GASP WHAT ARE YOU FEMALE READERS DOING WITH MY PINGAS INSIDE YOUR MOUTH!

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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I have a knife, Maddie. Get in the van.

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

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adam burdass

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!