Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

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Man seriously? Free Samsung? And that Fiat, I been wondering how much you want for it, not that i got it but I was considering buying it sometime. Son, I got no idea what brand this piece of shit car is, but the wheels are cool. No really, if you mean it, ill take that Fiat man, man, ill kiss your feet, ill do it, no really I mean Really? I mean really really? Man If you mean it, ill get over there right away, and man, you can have dunno, bad times, hell ANYTHING Okay? But if you are just messing with me, you can go fuck yourself and your phone man!

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"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!