Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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-Are you free anytime soon? -No. I'm very expensive

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: USA discovers they do not have nuclear weapons and then gives them nuclear reactors?

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

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Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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-Get in the Van

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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