SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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As long as I have a face, you will always have a place to sit.

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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Stop Footing Around

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-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

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Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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How much does a polar bear weight? Enough to break the ice... and throw you into the freezing water and drown you, because you're really ugly.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!