Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

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Hi! Do you like fat guys with no money?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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(Guy mumbles a bit, then says): You don't know me, but can I get you a drink? Yeah, sure... OK. HAHAHAA!!! Before I asked if you wanted a drink I mumbled "Do you want to have sex"? And you said yes! HAHAHAA!!!

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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Man: I wanna know what love iiiiiiis... And I want you to show meeeeeeeeee! *Woman slams man with baseball bat* Man: Urgh... ARGH MY FACE BLEEDING EVERYWHERE! WHYYYY! Woman: I love baseball! Moral: Stupid singing idiot, if that is not the worst pick up line ever, then some other is!

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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Jdkfk

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Male- You have 206 bones in your body, You want another ?

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I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!