Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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I just told Rebecca that the average man gets laid with about seven women during his life... ...She stares me in the eyes and goes "Noo! Really?" I mean should I feel cool? Is it because she has seen me with more women than... I dunno many, or because... Pssst: Harris... I mean you know I uh... Cherry pie this one right? Does this mean she goes around a lot doing a lot of other guys DAD!? (He calls me SON for like every third word, so yeah DAD... She is giving me a cold st... And she failed to take the laptop away from me, its kinda neat you know, typing while two girls cant share a... Well medium plus size dick... I mean... Wow they are making out... Imma gone forever. My fuckcount: Hell I know, when they say a guy bangs seven chicks during their lifetime, do they mean like a week? At once? Jk, I just pity the guys, for each extra gal for me, means one less for you right? Think positive folks, someone has to please them properly... Rebecca is like all "please sir?" "Thank you kind sir" (I hate being called kind) But in bed, she is all like FUCK ME HARDER YOU FUCKING MORON! Did I mention she has a sweet ass, and that my laptop is burning on her now... Multitasking: The key to threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes... I mean I wont say how many women I have done (rather been done by honestly) at once, why? Because you would never believe me. TWELVE... Eleven one wussed out actually because she just said it so she would look "cool among her friends... Poor little bitch..." Anyway, still twelve.

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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greetings clarisse...

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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