Man:Yeah, hey yo I'm feelin' like Ray Charles I got my shades on, I don't know where they are You couldn't find me even if you had a radar And I spit rapidly AKAR! Woman: OK ok so you claim to be Ray Charles and all, not that you look like him nor have the same voice... but tell me, how the hell did Ray Charles himself manage to get himself stuck in the ladies sauna room eh? Man: To catch the sight of them boobies! I mean... uh... I do not know young lady, I must feel my way out of here, I hmm... no, this is too soft and round to be a doorknob, and this one is too big and round... hmm... maybe if I try lower I will... oh excuse the pole its my walking stick which I keep in my pants...

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Honestly bitch, I hate you, but my balls are bursting so its either you or the next disgusting ugly bitch in line, my mom!

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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