Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

all in all it was a good orgy

You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

I'm desperate, you'll do.

"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!