who wants to play EPAR

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

thumb_up thumb_down +69

Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

thumb_up thumb_down -101

Me about four years ago: Girl: So what do you do? Me: I am an author. Girl: Cool! So like what do you write and stuff? Me: I am on my third book I am writing for Tom Clancy. Girl: Get outta here! You are so full of shit! This kinda happened a lot of times actually. ...Its true, then he died, now I am trying to rewrite the whole piece of crap into science fiction, yeah! Come sue me CLANCY! Do you think ANYBODY thought that you could write like 732 books a year? (Even though they where pieces of shit, I would know, mine are still the worst rated, but not worst selling because I dont know)

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Order Online Nightwear and short shop online in India

thumb_up thumb_down -145

Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Stop Footing Around

thumb_up thumb_down +92

boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

thumb_up thumb_down +155

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

thumb_up thumb_down -57

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

thumb_up thumb_down -21

It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

thumb_up thumb_down +28

At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

*on Halloween* Male: My name's Dick, and you're a very pretty PUSSY-cat. Female: I'll cut off your penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +210

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

thumb_up thumb_down +132

Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

thumb_up thumb_down -55

- Is this seat empty? - Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down.

thumb_up thumb_down -521

Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!