Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

My therapist says I should meet new people.

Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

I love you more than my jar of fingers.

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

Jdkfk

Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!