Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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greetings clarisse...

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

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Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!