-Do you like me? -No

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Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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Man: *Pokes Woman* Ouch! You burned me! Woman: How did I burn you? Man: Because you're just THAT hot. ;) Woman: *Pokes Man* Well it's too bad you're not.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!