so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

thumb_up thumb_down +191

Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down +121

You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

thumb_up thumb_down -77

A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

thumb_up thumb_down -37

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

thumb_up thumb_down +181

Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

thumb_up thumb_down +41

- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

thumb_up thumb_down +126

HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

thumb_up thumb_down +83

-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

thumb_up thumb_down +70

the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

thumb_up thumb_down -62

-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

thumb_up thumb_down +128

You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

thumb_up thumb_down +90

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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