- Anti-Pickup Line

Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

Lol, lucky you that this piece of shit site worked so fast for you huh DAD? Fine, I need no essay on her ass, my firm (well where I work at the top of the foodchain lets be modest here) sponsors all Samsung phones, so seriously ill get you the most expensive one I can find (its free, ill just tell them I need an extra one for, calling, but just for you, if you tell anybody else, ill just slash your tires. Man, I hate HATE sounding nice because I am not, but you can have that damn Fiat something (black car) that I bought from my ex, you take that instead? You still owe me the cash, but the car is yours (I never use it, and its you know... Bad, but still ten thousand times better than your car. Moral: Me? I just cant bother using my wives phone in order to call myself and find my own damn phone, so if you read this, you are golden. Oh, and if you want that piece of shit car of yours (cant even tell the brand can you? Seriously tell me) then you can have the damn money, but no paintjob, that car is, and must look like the trash it is. AMEN? Jk, Fuck Amen. Finally, so you want one with Keyboard attachment or one with keyboard embedded into the screen? The ones with the keyboards are usually a bit more pricey, but man, some of them suck ass, still I can get you like the one I got for business (yeah we gotta use fucking Samsung phones it pays well though) And forget your damn car tires, XD Im laughing here, some could steal those dirty flat pieces of shit, and you would be driving without noticing shit my whigga XD.

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

Gaywatch starts

Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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