Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Get in the van.

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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greetings clarisse...

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Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

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How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

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Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

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If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

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Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

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showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!