Young Man: Mom.. oh mom I want you so bad! Mom: I want you so bad too son! (starts ripping of clothes) Young Man: Uh... I want you to make me a sandwich... what is going on? Mom: Uh... never mind... Next day: Mom: Hey I bought you some cartoons... Young Man: Huh? I am too old for carto... HEY! :D what is this? What is this Hentai stuff? OOH! Moral: Hentai, the reason asians are smart and families stick together in Japan... sometimes they literally stick together...

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greetings clarisse...

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I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cumming too.

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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MAN: hey babe, do think that mabye someday I and U will be next to each other in the alphebet? WOMAN: well N and O are already, sooo.....

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!