- Anti-Pickup Line

Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

Sex?

M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

I hate you already.

Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

Do you have Groupon? wait for response Because you look fucking cheap

Now this one is for the ladies: Girl: Hey there Alexa! Long time no see! Woman: Indeed dear, so... do you still do YOGA!? Girl: Nah I stopped after the YOGA FIRE! lessons and the YOGA TELEPORT! Lessons where too expensive... Woman: too bad! Can you still bend your legs behind your back though? ;) It looked so sexy... Girl: Oh well, as long as you can still do you YOGA STRETCH tongue you can come home with me and teach me a thing or two since I am just 19 and you are a 35 year old couger... if you know what I mean ;) Woman: Sure! I can teach you a lot of lusty immoral things ;). Conclusion: Girl: Not there... its hurts. Woman: Just relax girl, and it will work... Girl: YES OH YES!!! Moral: To show that my stories also support the ladies ;) Hey... its called the ANTIPICKUPLINE after all right?

You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

Hey whigs just thinking, you think these will get approved as "anti-pickuplines?" XD Anyway, relax dog, the car is yours, and yes its a custom engine I trimmed myself, never drove it but its like a fucking hummingbird, just be careful dawg, it drives far faster than the damn spedometer or whatever its called says, so if it says 30 whatevers, you are driving at double (ill fix that for you, was gonna do it anyways but I am at work now) Man, I increased productivity with 33 percent with my speeches and campaigns, if that bonus isnt legal then im quitting AFTER I DECREASE productivity with 120... By quitting... basically. Get a cab dude, dont turn into some spoiled asskissing piece of shit that hangs around for the money (not more than you already do, jk bro) and ill throw in the fucking bill for the cabfare, but you know the trust system whiggs, receipts always. Oh, and yeah anyone asks, you leased it, and just for the Nero says comment, I was watching that shit How I raped your mother with my wife, and I get to give you five slaps! At random times, as hard as I can.. ...You know I got small hands, and your sister knows that small hands just means the paperwork kind, while big other stuff, means fucked since I was nice. Yeah its at the summer vista whatever, playboy mansion my ass... Its actually a bit larger (a lot less uh the area around tho, listen man, im done doing my... well girls, so im gonna get some sleep soon, so if you got more to say, make it fast... Moral: You know I have always been EVERYONES GOD MINION, DARK FALLEN GOD OF CHAOS AND... Sex, money, yeah... REMEMBER: Push the pedal on that Fiat of yours, and you will end up wrecking the car on the paper thin walls on my garage, so watch the speed limit, if you end up killng yourself, Ill never forgive myse... Wait... ILL NEVER FORGIVE YOUR MOTHER AND BANG HER... Because... Ahh... You know, girls wont get off me, now hurry the hell up and just say you are coming over or not, because I need an excuse to get... Wait for it... Wait for it... NOT YOUR SISTER OF ME! But hey, im honest to your sister, this man gots love for all the girls in his life, or he dont deserve them. Answer asap, or im wrecking the car, seriously, answer quick and its yours... On the phone is fine.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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