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At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

"You'll do."

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

My therapist says I should meet new people.

are you on fire?

Boy: Is your mom mexican? Girl: No/Yes why? Boy: Just wondering.

boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

Nice hair, can I pull it?

roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

At a bar: Hello! Moral: Keep the damn lines short! (A moral man original, not to be confused with the exploding bar or whoever put morals in their sstories, feel free to do so though! I mean anyone can see from the quality whose are mine ;)

-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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