Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! *grabs couch* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: *dead* Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!