I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

EVERYONE ELSE

You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

can i take a dump in your mouth?

Dude: I don't wanna be friends anymore! Dudette: I take it that you found out about my feelings. Dude: Yes. And, at the rate this is going, staying where we are now gets us nowhere. Dudette: *sparkly eyes* So... you mean... Dude: Yes. We are more than friends. I realize that you have realized that. In fact... *steps to whisper in her ear* ... we're like BROTHERS. Dudette: 3

Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

Boy : Gurle: hi

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!