Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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greetings clarisse...

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!