Eyh! its me Black Metal, I seriously cant pay you right now son! Sorry if this comes late this page do not work for shit, (I bet thats why you pick this page you egomaniac son, If you was not full of em charisma id never do this alright?) Okay Overlord, I got your message, hell you know my sister loves you crazy crazy man, why the hell would I try to "hold her away" I mean fuck its banging, so yeah thumbs ups man High five for my sister, its you know, she was super shy before you showed up, now she cant do gym anymore (haha man you so hardcore) but she has lots of friends and you know... So am I absolved now Overlord Black Metal? Moral: Because this guy made me put this, man, you making me feel like a total bitch, good play son!

If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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