- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

- You look really nice - I know

I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one sticks up middle finger

I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

Want to go out? No

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book