I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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you work at subway? cuz you givin me a footlong;)

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Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Ask him nicely to come down, and if that doesn't work, he will most likely stay up there.

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(Based on a few real life experiences) Man: Hey girl wanna hang out an.. Girl: OMG IMMA ORGASMIN YES I COME WIT YOU AND WE HAVE WILD SAX IN MAH DERTY PUSSY AND THEN YOU LIKK MY ASS GOOD AND CLEEN! Man: Uh... I think I left my wallet im my pocket... which I think is in my fridge.. at home... gotta go before the house burns down you know... "runs off"

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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girl: i like you boy with downs: i liek trains

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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whats up ho

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On line post: Woman: HELLO! I love you, I am from Russia and find you particularly handsome and rich I am certain you could take care of me and I will do anything for you ;) here are some nice pictures I have never met someone as fantastic as you please contact me! (revealing pictures.gif) additional information: This message has been sent to 100.000 other recipients. FAIL! Moral: And I had not even moved out from my parents home yet... rich enough my ass...

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

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Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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