Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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-Hey babe, wanna go to my place and bang all night long? -No you freak. -Well, I gave you a choice.

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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Those must be space pants, because your ass is out of this world That must be a donkeys tongue, because its making an ass out of you.

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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