Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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How much do you like peanut butter?

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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Hello children! :D

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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I also got a phd. Awesome in what? Uh wait, is phd and std the same? Wait I mean... Moral: Just leave you dont want to find out the wrong way.

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Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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So when' the baby due?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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