Man: Hey babe ;) I may not be the smartest guy around, but look at these muscles! (flexes like crazy). Girl: Sorry, I am blind... Man: Oh... do you hear my sexy raspy voice though? Girl: Sorry I am also deaf... Man: Oh... (leaves) 2 Weeks later: Man: HEY THAT WOMAN TRICKED ME! SHE SAID SHE WAS DEAF BUT WAS CAPABLE OF SPEAKING! DEAF PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK!.... I think...

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Man: Are you from heaven? Man: Cause ive got an erection

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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You look... clean

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-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? -I'm an atheist.

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Man: Hello there! I am a gynecologist, may I study your vagina? Woman: NO! Man: DAMN THIS ONE NEVER WORKS! DAMMIT! Moral: Duh...

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!