you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

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Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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I'd hit that.... with a truck.

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Charmeleon is Red, Squirtle is Blue, If you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you.

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showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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I have a really big..... Bank Account

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!