So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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A modified classic, props to the original poster: Man: Ask me out! Woman: Ok, get out! Man: No no, I said ASK me out. Woman: Okay... will you please get out? Man: No but thanks for asking me out, I am so gonna tell your friends how I rejected you asking me out. Moral: When beaten... THERE IS NO BEATING! If negative people can turn everything into a loss, thinking positive call help you turn anything into victory. I mean Hitler murdered millions right? Arent you happy (Jew or not), that it was not you? VICTORY! (if somehow Pyrrhic depending on how you turn on it... But if you wanna turn a gain to a pain, go ahead...)

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

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-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

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Welcome to DIE!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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