Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

Penis. I got it

-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

This is what Nero calls for his "destroyer" not sure if I should consider that flattering, he thinks so anyways, he just wants to say, that why the fuck are people suddenly scared of looooooooooooooooooooooong messages on the interbewbs. "No leave it be, interbewsbs sounds prefect" Nero The Hero "FINAL FRESH" What Nero And Vagina shouts? :)) Something is off here but he has passed out again :)) "God woman, you suck at pop cultural quotes" Nero, the fucklord (omg, he is crazy, gotta love this guy) "thanks" Nero the grateful. "I Ask you if you know who I am by saying "ITS ME MARIO and you still do not know what name is? THe red plumber Nintendo HIS NAME IS MARIO!?" Nero The (fucking annoyed at me) :)) Sorry guys just having fun. "THOU SHALL NEVER APOLOGIzE FOR THE WORD OF NERO" -Nero insists, I mean the LORD OF DARKNESS INSISTS "Can we fucking stop making quotes of me now? All the girls are laughing at me, WHY AM I SO DEFEATED!" Last quote added without his consent

Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

are you on fire?

-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

Drink this!

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

You're so hot I'd do you sober.

Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

Do you work at Subway? Cuz you just gave me a footlong

Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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