Hey, I your dad a baker?...Cuz it would be really cool if he were a baker.

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

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She said, "If you lost a few pounds, had a shave and got your hair cut, you'd look all right." I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there instead of you."

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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imgonna r@pe you

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I love Mark Wahlberg!

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Hey baby, if I could rearrange the alphabet U and I would have sex.

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-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

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Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!