- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

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Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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He: You're as pretty as a picture. She: Thank you. He: Unfortunately, it's a picture of shit. She: -__-

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Hey do you like mansauce? Moral: MORAL KOOOOOOMBAAAAAAAAAAT!

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Woman: Hey hot stuff! Are you new around he... Man: Eh, I am not comfortable with women hitting on me, even hot ones like you, its just uh... awkward and... Woman: uh sorry, its not like I was hitting on you nor anything ;), Why dont you hit on me? Man: Uh... I err.. how you... uh... *the guy proceeds to stare at the floor for the next five minutes then runs out crying* Moral: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!