hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

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(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

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HELLO I AM BORAT! MISHIMUSH! I WOULD LIKE TO MAKE THE MOVIE OF MAKING THE RAPE OF THE AMERICAN WOMAN! WILL YOU HELP US? Woman: NO!!!!!! Oh... ok Mishimush! We make the other Movie then, BORAT THE CRUSHINGS OF AMERICA.

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baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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