Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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Guy: How much does a polar bear way? Girl; About 500 kilograms

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Man: I can control all women in the world! Guys: WOOOOT YEAH! Me: I can control all men! Guys: Huh?? Man: What the fuck is that good for you like guys or something? Wait hey let go of me! Moral: And off the endless cliff you all go MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!... Ladies, it seems it is up to us to repopulate this world, not sure if we can make it, but I shall do my best, but since I am just one, you better do all the moving, so I can conserve my energy.

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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who wants to play EPAR

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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I have a gun.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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