You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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"Do you like me?" "Do pigs fly?"

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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Guy - Hey baby, what's your sign? Girl - ?

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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- You must be a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you - You must be a wellfare check then.

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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Mario: Its a me Mario! Woman: Uhuh... Mario: Its a me Mario? Woman: Yeah you got a point? Mario: Okey dokey! Woman: So? Mario: Letsa go! Woman: Well okay, I mean *chews bubblegum* at least I know who you are and stuff... Moral: I once saw a red mushroom come out of a question block, so I just touch it with my Richard and... ...Wait ill take the green one, just in case, I good with what I have...

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!