- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

Are you from Wales, because...well...

So, you're a girl, huh?

Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book