- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Give me some sugar... honey.

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

Guy:My tummy hurts Girl: Oh!! Are you pregnant ? Guy: Yeah!!! With a baby elephant!! Girl:WHAT!!!! Guy: Yeah!! Wanna see its trunk

I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

Still a better love story than Twilight

Female: Hey can i buy you a drink? Male: I have AIDS.

Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book