- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-How did your date go last night? -It was going alright but then I started crying uncontrollably. -Nervous habit? -Pepper spray.

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

I like your eyes. My eyes don't like you.

-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

Hey girl, you must have fallen from heaven, because you're so old you should have died already and so ugly that they must have kicked you out as soon as you got there.

You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

- You look really nice - I know

Are you a Geodude? Cause you're face is rockin'!

Are you from hogwarts, because I really want to put my basilisk into your chamber of secrets

Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book