If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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-Do you like me? -No

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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Gaywatch starts

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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Hey nice shoes....Wanna F***?

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(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!