- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

I think I shit myself

-hey, come here a minute.

if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book