Walking to your car alone later?

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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-Get in the Van

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M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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I'll eat your poop

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Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

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Give me everything tonight, or you might not see tomorrow. RAPIST!

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!