WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

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Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

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Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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Man: Well I usually do not bang women your uh... particular size, I mean you are a bit too big for me and um... I got standards... nothing personal but... I uh.. well ok lets try... I guess I stick it here and... Man2: HEY what the hell are you doing to my trailer you drunk bastard! Moral: Standards... we all have it.... just not that much of it...

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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