-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

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Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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Hey, you want a ride?

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Q: Continue the pattern. 1,2,3,4,..... A: other numbers.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!