Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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Morals, greatest weakness revealed!: Doctor doctor! I cannot succeed at... pant pant *shorts shorts* *whine wheeze* at... At... AAAAAARGUUUUUU!!! FUCKING DOCTOR I CANNOT SUCCED AT... THE PAAAAAYNE! MAX PAYNE! BUHUHUHUHU!!! THE PAAAAINYE I CANNOT...SUCCEED AT... Doctor: At what? Shutting the fuck up? AND LEAVE THE HORSHEHEAD NETWORK? Moral: XD I cannot stop laughing, I am crying fucking tears of laughter :)) I was completely not gonna type that but then it spontaneously suddenly idea get! XD Moral: Green thumbs for self irony, this comment shall get one green thumbs ups, and it shall one green thumbs ups get, and the number of thumbs ups shall be one, as one be the number of thumbs ups. Moral: And I have not even said anything Moral: I deserve that green thumb this time! I earned it! SHAAAME YOU DARE SPOILMY GREEN THUMB OF VICTOLY WITH YOUR RED THUMB! SHAAAME! BUILD THE WALL OF FAILURE! FASTER STRONGER HARDER! I CURSE SHAME UPON YOUR SHAME AND BATHE IT IN THE WATER AND FLAMES OF SHAAAAAME! ALL BEFORE I SPrinkle it with small bits of sugar... AND SHAAAAME! LEAVE THE GREEN THUMB ALONE!!!! BUAHUAHAHA! LEAVE IT ALONEEEEEEEEE! Moral: HEEEY HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH THAT GREEN THUMB! I SAID ONE GREEN THUMB! ONE! AND ONLY MINE! SHAME!!!!

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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Golf.

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are you on fire?

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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"is that a ladder in your tights? or a fire escape for the crabs?"

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Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

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Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

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"I lost my virginity! Can I have yours?"

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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