Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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My therapist says I should meet new people.

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Sex?

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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Hey girl! Faggot.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When you burst through the asphalt, emerging from the depths of hell.

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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Hey are you on your period? Because I've been following you and I've noticed there's a blood stain on your ass...

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!