you look like my mother

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Nerdy Pokemon Pickup he: i want to squirrtle on your jigglypuff she: I want to boulder smash your face

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together -The order of the alphabet is arbitrary. It's not my fault that you kept U and I apart.

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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The word of today is "leg's",no whom are i kidding, bird is the word!

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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your almost as hot as my wife

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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Hey girl... U remind me of my pinkie toe.. Ur small cite and I'll probably bang u on the coffee table later

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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As original as things get: Pickup in the future! Android: Greetings Alpha six zero zero,requesting access code for insertion of my intercourse-D.I.C.K card into your V.A.G 2.0 intercourse receiver! Another Android: Access granted Zero six nine eight, engaging card...System! Deactivate mini-android production systems and engage cooldown systems to avoid critical overheats, lubricate essentials for easy access, I have no entry code, engage at once! Moral: I honestly thought it would end up in failure, but damn androids are easy!

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!