My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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hey baby i just came in my pants

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Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

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He - Nice shoes. She - Thanks. He - But i think they would look better in my pants.

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

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Every breath you take Every move you make Every bond you break Every step you take I'll be watching you Every single day Every word you say Every game you play Every night you stay I'll be watching you

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Want to go out? No

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!