Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

How'd you like to earn 14 dollars, the HARD way?

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

How you doin? go away- I have a gun

He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

Yo imma let you finish yourself off

Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

"Hmm...you'll do."

-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!