Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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hey bitch

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Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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Male: You're so beautiful. Female: Well thank you. Male: Yeah, you look just like my Mom.

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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hey baby do you fart? (much embaressed she awser)yeah,why? i knew that was a lie when they said that pretty girls don't fart

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Hey girl, I am a rich guy with a huge estate and stuff, while you live under a cardboard box so... Your place or mine? Both, I to your place, and you to mine.

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Hello children! :D

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

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Roses are red, violets are blue I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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A polar bear and a penguin were taking a bath. The polar bear asked the penguin to pass the soap. the penguin responded by saying,"What do i look like a microwave?"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!