Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Guy: Hey, cutie! What's your name? Girl: JOHN CENA.

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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will you marry me

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Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!