"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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I have no gag reflex.

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

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Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Jdkfk

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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- hey ;) - hey, yourself. - if i wanted my comeback, i would've wiped it off your mom's face.

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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