Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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A blond, a brunette and a black haired girl are all stuck on an island....stupid women.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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I have no gag reflex.

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Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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Man: Hey sexy, I think I have seen you many times before... Woman: Hmmm... I do not think I have seen you before... Man: Do you happen to be used to getting raped? Woman:...... Moral: yeah it was her :( Audience: BOOOOOOOOOO! Moral: I know :(

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Whatever I'll just date myself.

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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The word of the day is 'legs' , The word of tomorrow is Aardvark .

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Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!