After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

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-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

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You smell just like my mom...

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- hey id like my order for you - ok we put extra punch with it these days

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!