Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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- Hey, baby, are your parents retarded because you're pretty special.

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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-Do you like me? -No

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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Are your prices by the hour

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

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Man: Hey I am the hunk that writes the stories with morals, and I thumb them up myself... since they mostly get thumbed down slower that way... Ladies: REALLY! WOW WE NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD MEET A CELEBRITY! LETS HAVE AN ORGY! Man: HEY! LADIES WAIT WAIT! ONLY 8 AT THE TIME! HELP I AM GETTING GRAPED!... Anyway who am I kidding please proceed but stop fighting over the joystick I have enough joy to all thanks to my writing progress!¨ Moral: His-tory AKa My-Story, and you know that they say that the winners are the one to write history ;), and if you do not know what I mean, you are probable banging me too right now... (true story)

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Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

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Baby if you were homework, I would do you all the time

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!