-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Man enters a bar... ORIGINALITY FOR THE PEOPLE! Man: Hey, wanna go to my place later? Woman: Ok Ronald McDonald but you gotta take of your costume first and... Man: What costume? I am Michael Ja.. Moral: Stop it right there! Its too early for jokes about uh... Michael J Fox... yeah him yeah... lets keep it that way...

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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Me during the noob days at a bar: Me: So this is fun, want to go to my place and watch The Matrix trilogy all night or something? She: Naaah, I already watched them, but I am sure we can watch something else all night right? Me: Nah, you see I just moved in, and I don't have any other movies, so yeah nice meeting you though! *facepalm*

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"You'll do."

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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- Does this napkin smell like chloroform to you? There is no response because she passed out from it and he leaves in order to void suspicion.

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!