I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Sorry to take up space, but this is simply my reply to the vile threats to that person whose line starts with "what did you say little bitch", know that he has no idea what he is talking about, and is possibly a simple mental case. Seriously, who the hell are you? And even so, who the hell do you think you are? Yeah with your terrible lack of discipline there is no way in hell you are or would become a soldier. You know very well that the navy would never waste its resources on helping your selfish and childish acts of revenge (or whatever you seek) Death threats will get you nowhere, and you can fully threaten me, but know that I live in Norway, and you can trace me and send your whole unit (if you had one) but by then you would solely be responsible for acts of war and be properly executed for international treason. Know your place civilian, we fight to protect you, do not shame us with your childish vendetta. Drill Sergeant Axel "Strength" Godøy. Aka "Moral Man" Ps: Threaten anyone again, and I will fill a full report and assure that your IP is banned from this network, you are shaming your people, your country and all that fight to defend world peace, try me out and see, give me that luxury.

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Roses are red Violates are blue Get in the van I have a gun.

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

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Nielsen: Nice beaver! Woman: Thanks! Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice p*ssy Woman: Ah! Thank you! (cat meows) Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice wet vagina. Woman: Is this in the script? Director: CUT! Nielsen: What? Cant a man improvise? I mean OJ does it, and he is quite the nice fella... Moral: "Quite the nice fella" Yeah reminds me of good old dad, nice to everyone, and could take a lot of shit, but as much as I asked him how he was doing, I got an uppercut to the face and a nice trip in a ambulance... Started when I was 4, I crushed his upper Jaw in self defense when I was 16... ah... hmm... Why am I sharing this? Then again why not... When have I not spoken my mind.

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Does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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sound of zipper

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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can i just touch your face for like, a couple seconds.

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will you marry me

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-Hey, is there a fire extinguisher around here? 'Cause you're smoking hot. -Actually, there IS a fire extinguisher. I was about to slam you in the face with it.

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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man: may I impale you on my stake? woman: O.o (for goth girls)

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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