And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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are you from subway cause you givin me a footlong

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: Seriously just give up, this must be the worst "pickupline" ever

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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greetings clarisse...

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Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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- I'd like to call you. What's your number? - It's in the phone book. - But I don't know your name. - That's in the phone book too.

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!