"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

Hi I'm Shaniqua.

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

Man: HELP! I am dying of disease and have only one day left to live! My only wish... "sob" is to procreate... to have a son or a daughter... Woman: Aww... well maybe I can help you... Man: :D I cant believe it (tears in eyes) Woman: What are you dying of? Man: Aids... Woman proceeds to disappear in a ball of smoke. Moral of the story: Dunno find it yourself ffs I dont even know why people read this crap... funny typing it though.. thumbs ups for that :D

Man: hey... you seem pretty paralytic and unable to move in that wheelchair ;) Woman: uh oh...well actually I can move a bit... Man: Good because I do not wanna do ALL the thrusting back and forth... Woman: Bu.. but... I... I do not want to... Man: Well if you do not want sex, then just run away... ;) FATALITY... FLAWLESS VICTORY... RAPEALITY!

Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

The anti part of below comment, may be the fact that its going to get thumbed down to Hades. Moral: They see me rollin, they envious... women that look like supermodels that work as jurists dont come easy... unless you are Moral Man. *Plays moral man theme* (Character inspired by Salvador Dali, I mean what greater inspiration than the man that celebrated each day as he woke up in the body and mind of the greatest man ever? Me? Same, but I also wake up next to the greatest woman ever.)

Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

-Get in the Van

Did you fall from heaven? Because, I believe in the afterlife.

Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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