Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

Girl:Want to go out this Friday? Boy: No I like to stay inside. Girl: No I mean are you free this Friday? Boy:No Im expencive!

You look... clean

the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

Your body would look good in my trunk.

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. female: Are you from Delaware? Because I'm del aware that you have a girlfriend.

I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

Gaywatch starts

Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

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xxxx x x x x x xx x x x x x x x x x x xxxx x x x x x x x x x x x x xxxxxx xxxxxx x x x x x x x x xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx x x xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx x x xxxxxx xxxxxx x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x sssssss x x x x sssssssssssssssss x x x sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x ssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x x ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x x sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssx x x sssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssx x x sssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x ssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x sssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssssssssss sss x x sssssssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssssssssssssss sssss x x sssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssssssss ssssss x ssssssssssssssssssssssssss ssssssssssssssss ssssssss x x sssssssssssssssssssssss sssssssssssss sssssssss x x sssssssssssssssssssssssss sss sssssssssss x x ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x xx sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x xxsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x xssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x xsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x x xssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x x xsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x x xssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss x xxxxx xsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss xxxxxxx xssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss xxxxx xx xsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss ... ssss xx xsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. ..... ssss xxx xxxx xsssssssssssssssssssssssssss... ...... sssss x xxx xxx xsssssssssssssssssssssss .... .......... sssx x xx xsssxxssssssssssssssssss ........ ............ sssss xssssssssssssssssssssssss ........... ............. 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.............. ............. ............. ............ ............. ............ ............ ............ ........... ............ ........... ............ ......... ............ ......... ............ ......... ........... ......... ...........

Im gonna rape you..

Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

Guy: I got you a gift. It's a Necklace. Girl: Awww thats so nice. Guy: BAZINGA Its my dick.

- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

whats up ho

Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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