Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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A man comes home from his doctor and tells his wife that he only has 12 hours to live so he asks his wife later that night if they can do it one last time she agrees but after an hour the man wakes his wife and says honey in a few hours I will be dead can we do it again please. So they do it again a few hours later the man wakes his wife again and says dearest since I'm going to die soon can we please? to this the wife says look honey tomorrow I have to get up you don't!

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

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I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!