your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

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As original as it gets: Domestical... Dog with a top hat and monocle: Yap Yap! *wiggles tail* woof woof! Dog?: MEOW!! HISS! *scratches dog and throws her drink at his face or you know... something that increases dramatic tension* and leaves. Dog: HOWL! *whimpers* :( *throws top hat away* Moral: They say every dog has his day, but I do not think this relationship was never meant to work out :(

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He i would love to have sex with you She. I know but you have aids

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Is it hot in here or are you just suffocating me in this relationship

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Man trying to be smart: Man: HELP THERE IS A GIANT BOMB DOWN MY PANTS! ITS BULGING AND ITS GONNA EXPLODE KILLING US ALL! Nurse: ILL REMOVE IT! GRABS "EXPLOSIVE EQUIPMENT" AND RIPS IT OFF" Nurse: Weird this organic bomb looks like a peni.. Man: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGG Moral: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRHhhhhhhhhhhhhhgEsgRSGRSRfRSfSFSr

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Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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Roses are red violets are blue this isn't a poem I'm a botanist.

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Female: I don't need to rearrange the alphabet, N and O are already together!

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imgonna r@pe you

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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Want to go out? No

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does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!