Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

Guy: Hey baby, you must be a general, because you're making my PRIVATES stand at attention! Girl: Hmm..they're still a MAJOR disappointment.

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

-So, what are you doing later? -Not you.

-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

What happens if an Internet troll has a heart attack Doesn't matter nobody will care

Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

Hey girl, do you have a map? Becuase I keep getting lost when i try to find your house.

- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

Get your coat, I've got a knife.

Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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