Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

thumb_up thumb_down -97

Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

thumb_up thumb_down -73

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Guy texting random girl: *u must b wearing space pants cuz ur a*s is out of this world *no im wearing baseball pants cuz my a*s is out of ur leage (this girl deserves an award)

thumb_up thumb_down -36

there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

thumb_up thumb_down +110

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

thumb_up thumb_down -88

Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

thumb_up thumb_down +114

the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

thumb_up thumb_down -42

You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

thumb_up thumb_down +160

Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

thumb_up thumb_down +114

- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

thumb_up thumb_down -6

There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

thumb_up thumb_down -46

I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

GIRL: Has anyone ever told you how hansom you are? MAN: My mother, some of her older friends, and beautiful women your age that I end up sleeping with.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

thumb_up thumb_down -77

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

thumb_up thumb_down -92

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down +42

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

thumb_up thumb_down +9

You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!