hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away.

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Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

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-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!