You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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-Baby, do you know karate? Your body is kickin'! -I do actually. Would your crotch like a demonstration?

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I have a gun.

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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At Barlevania: Man: Yo lady... mind if I hang around? Woman: Uh... wait... there is a weird song outside... Man: Yeah but you will you... yeah... its getting louder! *nana nanananana nana* Man: What the hell is that? Woman: No idea, its getting louder! *NANA NANANANANANA KATAMARI DAMACY NANA NANANANANANANA KATAMERUUUUU! DAMACY DAMACY*¨¨ *Both the man and the woman gets rolled up in a spirit ball by the prince, in no time the bar gets rolled up as well* Dun dun dun dun dun dun Du du dun dun STAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAAAAAR LIGHT! King of all cosmos: Eh.. buenos dias! That means good day in Spanish the king thinks... the king likes languages... Eh? What is this insignificant thing you rolled up? Earth? The king does not like it... it feels too earthy! To humanny and stuff... *The king of all cosmos throws the earth away towards outer space* "ROLLED UP EARTH HAS BECOME PLANET EARTH!" Moral: Katamari Damacy taught us all that it does not have to make sense to be funny, but its not a good idea to for anyone to hit on anything while the planet is being rolled up...

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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