Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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Is that a ladder in your hose or the stairway to heaven? It is the stairway to heaven, but I've already got an asshole up there

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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You're one-in-a-million. That means there is roughly 7,000 people exactly like you in the world.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!