- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

thumb_up thumb_down +171

Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

thumb_up thumb_down +89

Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

thumb_up thumb_down -88

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

thumb_up thumb_down -38

A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

thumb_up thumb_down -8

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

thumb_up thumb_down -119

Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

thumb_up thumb_down -86

-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

thumb_up thumb_down -24

- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

thumb_up thumb_down +331

-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

thumb_up thumb_down -43

HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

thumb_up thumb_down +149

He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

thumb_up thumb_down -38

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Male: Paper or plastic? Female: What? Male: Paper or plastic, you know, to put over your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

thumb_up thumb_down +119

M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

thumb_up thumb_down +112

Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

thumb_up thumb_down -146

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!