so... you're a girl,huh?

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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- Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason - Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!

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2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

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- How do you like your eggs in the morning? - Unfertilized !

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- Your place or mine? - Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine.

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I have a gun.

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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Real life again. I was about twenty and things where going on really well with a shy Swedish girl... Me: Hey, my name is Axel, you know, like Axel Rose? ;) She: I hate that guy! Me: Me too! She: Are you being fake? I dont want to talk to you anymore. Me: No wait I really hate him! She: So desperate... (pats me on the head and leaves me feeling pretty stupid) Moral: Last time I used that one, I hate Axel Rose and I hate my parents naming me after that bastard

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-Hi. Didn’t we go on a date once? Or was it twice? -Must’ve been once. I never make the same mistake twice.

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

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Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

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Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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