Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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Stop Footing Around

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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This doesn't have to be a rape.

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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*When you get her to your place* I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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You look exactly like my sister.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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