Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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hey girl, whats your sign? slippery when wet.

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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Q: What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? A: My zipper.

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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Woman: Hey hot stuff! Are you new around he... Man: Eh, I am not comfortable with women hitting on me, even hot ones like you, its just uh... awkward and... Woman: uh sorry, its not like I was hitting on you nor anything ;), Why dont you hit on me? Man: Uh... I err.. how you... uh... *the guy proceeds to stare at the floor for the next five minutes then runs out crying* Moral: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

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Guy: Do you wanna be the sun of my life? Girl: Ok sure Guy: Then go stand 13. billion miles away from me

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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