Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

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Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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Stable relationships are for horses.

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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- I'm a weatherman, and I'm predicting 9 inches tonight ;) - Oh? Well weathermen aren't always accurate, so it's probably more like 3 inches.

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Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

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I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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-Are you a dementor? Cuz you just took my breath away... -Expecto Patronum!!!

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Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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Mirrors can't talk, luckily for you they can't laugh either

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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