Jdkfk

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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imgonna r@pe you

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Guy: Da da da da da! I'm loving it. (looks at girl's crotch)

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Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch *flushes the toilet*

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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he: hey,do you have a phone? she: yeah! why,do you want it? he: no,you should consider selling it and doing a plastic surgery with the money.

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

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Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

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Do you live around here often?

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In a classy bar: KEEP IT CLASSY! Man: Hello there dear... your eyes sparkle like the sun itself... Woman: Oh... thank you random stranger, that is the most beautiful thing someone have ever said to me :D Man: Really? But you are gorgeous (the two proceed to have a long CLASSY conversation and laughing in a classy reserved matter and drinking classy champagne and whatever... and then: Man: Ahahaha yes that is indeed true... By the way... would you mind becoming the single lonely mother of my children? Moral: skipped most of school classes... class ... overrated...

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!