Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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Im gonna rape you..

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Male: Get in the van.

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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Batman bravely leaps in front of the Robin: Bats: WATCH OUT FOR THAT GAY-RAY! *Bats suddenly grabs Robin and starts making out with him* Bats: I am sorry, I cannot stop it... I... Robin: I am underage so maybe it was a pedo-ray or something... Joker: What gay ray? What pedo ray? It was suppose to disintegrate you! But whatever, I win. Moral: It was a looong trip back home.

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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You're so hot, you should wear a burkha over your face.

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!