-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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Mom im sixteen and after watching some japanese cartoons and dads gone, I wonder if I can... Son please put your pants back on! But mom! Im the man in the house now, so I invited my friends so you and I can have a stamina sex contest and... Moral: If she does not tell you to put up your pants... Well, you are the man in the house son ;)

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"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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Man at a restaurant (that is out of everything but bar stools and alcoholic drinks): Man: Die monster! You don't belong in this world! Woman: Uh? Oh! Nice tribute to the cheesy Castlevania lines! Man:Tribute!?! You steal men's souls and make them your slaves! Woman: Uh... well with most of you men lacking a spine nowadays... I cant truly disagree with you... Man: Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a savior such as you! Woman: Savior? Who do you think I am? But now I am annoyed *throws glass that breaks* have at you! *slaps man* Man: HYDRO STORM! Throws a flask of water upwards as it breaks on the floor splashing the woman... Woman: NOW I AM ALL WET! YOU MORON! Dont you know me? Man: Man: M-Maria? Uh... What happened? Shaft: Damn you broke free from your spell! But it is too late! Muahahaha! Castlevania has already become a bar! Richter: Well... that's fine to me, as long as Dracula does not STEAL MEN`S SOULS! Shaft: Relax, he is into business now... Richter: Your words are as empty as your soul! Mankind ill needs a businessman such as him! Shaft: Seriously! I invite you both at its VIP lounge and free beer to make up for the past mistakes... Richter: Excellent! But now feel my unbridled wrath!!!!! *punches Shaft* Shaft: Ouch! So... are we even now? Richter: Considering the free beer... okay... As they arrived Castle Barlevania they both got drunk and played "vampire killer" at the stage all night... Moral: Not much a Anti-Pick up line you say? Not only did Richter make a fool out of himself, but he also got her wet ;)

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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It's not rape if you say "Surprise!"

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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You remind me of America. How so? Because you so fat!

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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