Boy- I'm heading back to my place. Want to come? Girl-Sorry you strike me as a person who cums all by himself.

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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MAN: hey, are youa gust of wind? cause you blow me away! WOMAN: really? that makes me happy! i was getting kinda sick of you being here!

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Man: Your so hot, i think heavens missing an angel Girl: ... Man: ... Girl: ... Girl 2: Sophie turn your hearing aid on Man: oooh.

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Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Hello children! :D

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

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You allergic to semen?

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haha

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Morals, greatest weakness revealed!: Doctor doctor! I cannot succeed at... pant pant *shorts shorts* *whine wheeze* at... At... AAAAAARGUUUUUU!!! FUCKING DOCTOR I CANNOT SUCCED AT... THE PAAAAAYNE! MAX PAYNE! BUHUHUHUHU!!! THE PAAAAINYE I CANNOT...SUCCEED AT... Doctor: At what? Shutting the fuck up? AND LEAVE THE HORSHEHEAD NETWORK? Moral: XD I cannot stop laughing, I am crying fucking tears of laughter :)) I was completely not gonna type that but then it spontaneously suddenly idea get! XD Moral: Green thumbs for self irony, this comment shall get one green thumbs ups, and it shall one green thumbs ups get, and the number of thumbs ups shall be one, as one be the number of thumbs ups. Moral: And I have not even said anything Moral: I deserve that green thumb this time! I earned it! SHAAAME YOU DARE SPOILMY GREEN THUMB OF VICTOLY WITH YOUR RED THUMB! SHAAAME! BUILD THE WALL OF FAILURE! FASTER STRONGER HARDER! I CURSE SHAME UPON YOUR SHAME AND BATHE IT IN THE WATER AND FLAMES OF SHAAAAAME! ALL BEFORE I SPrinkle it with small bits of sugar... AND SHAAAAME! LEAVE THE GREEN THUMB ALONE!!!! BUAHUAHAHA! LEAVE IT ALONEEEEEEEEE! Moral: HEEEY HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH THAT GREEN THUMB! I SAID ONE GREEN THUMB! ONE! AND ONLY MINE! SHAME!!!!

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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You are almost as beautiful as my mother.

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

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Man: Wanna see the best pick up line ever? Its an ancient secret kept for millions of years! Girl: SURE! Man: It only reveals to the fully drunk though so lets get drinking.. Girl: uh... okay... I guess.. Man: Drunk enough? Girl: Ulp... you betcha weird man! Man: Ok its hidden at my place so lets go! Girl: WOHOO!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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