-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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will you marry me

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Are you from Jamaica because I'm from Jamaica and I think I recognize you? Your ugly as hell by the way.

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You look exactly like my sister.

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So, I hear you want to rape Nathan Skye's body.

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? On average 1135 lbs.

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Man: I bet you havent seen a really big dick before ;) ;) Woman: No... but I have seen yours... The man proceeds to stare at the floor and leaves in shame...

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I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

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You smell just like my mom...

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- I can make your wildest dreams come true. - I know. I had this nightmare some creep wouldn't leave me alone...

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!