Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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There must be an angel missing from Heaven, because I've got it tied up in my basement. (It keeps saying something about a fancy dress party, but I'm not falling for that one again; that's how Batman escaped.)

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guy: hey baby come join the PEN15 club with mee ;) girl: whats that?? guy: come and i will show you...*goes into the guys restroom with her*....lets go to the restroom and never rest...except you can rest on my PEN15

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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- How 'bout we go to your place and take a shower together? - I think my husband and little baby would get a kick out of that!

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Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

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haha

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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nice kid... want another?

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greetings clarisse...

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Your the penisbutter to my vagmite;)

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Woman: Quit staring at me and undressing me with your eyes! Man: I was just imagining you in a tasteful outfit.

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together. Girl: That's funny because I'd put F and U together.

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-Wanna have sex? -No -Damn

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" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!