Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: *sigh* Did what hurt? (Expecting him to say "When you fell from heaven") Boy: When you broke through the earths crust, ascending from hell.

"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

Have you met Ted?

Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

"Hmm...you'll do."

If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!