- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... door slams

hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

Do you want to see something swell?

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

Man: Do you sleep on your stomach? Woman: No... Man: Can I?

male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

Do you have sunburn, or are you always this hot? It's sunburn.

I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

Wherever: Hi I am Tom Green! or Hey there, I am Jamie Kennedy! Moral: Hey there I am neither one of them, I am however the worlds third most pointless invention according to this site. (well strictly spoken, I am a lawyer, lol self irony)

Did you just fart? 'cos you blew me away

MAN- Wanna have sex? WOMAN- No get away from me you freak?!!! MAN- Well... I gave you a choice...

He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book