Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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Girl: Hey you cutypie! want to ride my newest pimpmobile and get drunk and have unprotected sex? Man: Gee that was mighty brave of you, teehee.. Maybe though, but cant we just get to know each other a bit first? ;) I mean I am a partygirl bu.. Girl: ...Uh, something feels wrong here. Man: Cut! I think we picked up each other scripts... Moral: About mother fucking time someone noticed something! This is anti-pickupline enough for me...

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You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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Guy: You look two times as beautiful with makup on. Girl: Really? I think you would too.

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Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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- Hey do you wanna hang out? - I'm 17.

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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-As I slipped my finger in her hole I could feel her getting wetter and wetter, When I pulled it out she was going down on me. I should probably start looking for a new boat...

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!