- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

Man: Your rejections cannot hurt me! Im the JuggernautBitch! grabs couch WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH! Woman: dead Man: Jugs got jugs! Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up!... Moral: Works every time

If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

Nice legs what time do they open

Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? draws gun Moral: Pretty immoral

Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

G: YOU KILLED MY FATHER! M: Yes yes I killed my father too, but you do not see me whining about it... M: So ... wanna date? I am quite the Male Bison in bed ;) G:NOOOOO! M: Just get in the damn plane! G: BISOOOOOOOOOOOON!

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

Hey Clarkson, you know about this pointless invention Named Nero The Moral man? Clarkson: No. Nero: No. Is this because horsehead network sucks? Clarkson: Yes. Nero: WTF AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE! Oh yeah I am fucking it away... Fuck me, every girl around me just ends up completely fucked.... ;)

Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

Guy: Have you ever seen a rhinoceros? Girl:No. Why? Guy: So you don't have a mirror in your house?

Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

You allergic to semen?

Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book