Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

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Penis. I got it

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NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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male: wanna come in for a coffea? female: ok (she has a coffea) male: ok by female: by

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I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

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Him: Does your dad own a bakery? Her: Yes, Why? Him: Because I saw his advertisement in the newspaper

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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GUY- Are you from heaven.....cuz it sure as hell doesn't look like it.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it Man: It's ok, it was probably too dirty for me anyways.

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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Roses are red violets are blue i got a gun get in the van!

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You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!