-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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-If I take you home, will you iron my clothes and make me a sandwich?

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Hey baby, you like sea food? Because I've got crabs!

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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I put the STD in STUD, now all I need is U.

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Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

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Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!