Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

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Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

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rohypnol. rape drug

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M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

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Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

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Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

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Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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Man and woman in bed: Man: You know I am somewhat a deviant right? Woman: Sure but I am drunk so lets just do it.. Man: I AM SO GONNA BANG YOU! (Man throws dynamite at woman) Woman: WHAT THE FUUUUUUUUUUU Moral: BANG INDEED... case closed.

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Want to get a pizza and fuck? What you don't like pizza?

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- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

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You stole my heart..... Don't worry, i have three more back home in my freezer.

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Woman and man on picnicking date at the forest: (Man gets bit in his pingas by a snake..) Man: ARGH! HEALP HEALP! Woman: OMG! I have to call the doctor! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING Doctor! My date was bitten by a poisonous snake! What can we do! Doctor: The only option would be to suck the poison out of the bitten area or else he will probably die... "Click" Man: ARGH! WHAT DID THE DOCTOR SAY! PLEASE ITS GETTING NUMB! WHAT DID HE SAY! Woman: He said you are gonna die... :( Moral: She may not have sucked, but this sure did :P

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!