Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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hey bitch

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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-Did you fall from heaven? Because your an angel -No but did you? Because your face is fucked up!

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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Man: Yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Mirror: yoyoyoy my lady wanna get some? Man: SHIET!!! This never works! Moral: Take a look at yourself before you break yourself! By the time you start looking, sounding, feeling and even smelling awesome in the mirror, then the girls will feel the same way about you, no kidding.

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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are you on fire?

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So do you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Man: Would you like to dance? Woman: Hell No! Man: I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I said - You look fat in those pants!

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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If you were a booger, I would pick up you first.

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Male: Hey babe! Wanna come to my house for a party? Female: Sorry! Don't have my herpes shot!

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Shorts and pants compilation: Hey you a cheap prostitute or just out of my league? Hey mom I just watched some more hentai today and wonder if you would... Why are you screaming? Its just me naked with a boner! According to hentai its completely natural! I mean I am getting to do you when I turn eighteen right? No? You are a horrible mother! I am so telling dad you wont give it up! Bitch, you like men that beat you up while fucking you? You do? Oh, my! This is like too freaky too me! *runs out girlie screaming* Dad, I watched some other hentai today and, I wonder if you... Moral: *Pants*, there you go.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!