Stable relationships are for horses.

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

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Hey can I have your number? No.

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And then it hit me...no really now I'm bleeding

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Boy: Do u have a pen? Girl: Yeah, here Boy: Umm..its out of ink Girl: What? Boy: It doesn't work Girl: R u sure? Boy: Don't believe me? Fine, u try it... Go on, write your cell phone number right here....

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your beauty surpasses that of the greek goddess aphrodite.

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You have the nicest smile I could ever hope to come across.

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Okay, I lied, the one below actually kinda works, people get impressed, it is quite the accomplishment you know... But since I am gonna get married soon I don't pick up as much as I should anyways. Moral: Man

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

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Are you from tennessee? Because your inbred and retarted.

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imgonna r@pe you

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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-Your father must be an alien because your out of this world -More like out of your league

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!