- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

baby please dont make this rape turn into a murder

What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

Girl- Hey ily Boy- say it it just makes it that much better ;) Girl- I'm leaving you

Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

I want you to come over, so we can go in my room, turn off the lights, go under the covers, and ill show you my glow in the dark watch..just kidding my penis.

Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

I just shat my pants..... can I get in yours?

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

Man: Hi ladies I am back for more if you know what I mean ;) Ladies: Get lost you damn hippie! The seventies are over! Man: Whaaat? I died for your sins you know! Moral: Ever heard of Jesus`s ladyfriends? There, now you see what I mean.

Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book