While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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Boy: Do you have a boyfriend? Girl: I don't have a boyfriend but I have a Girlfriend !

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven... Because it looks like you landed on your face!

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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Do you have cancer, because you look diseased.

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!