-Your eyes like diamonds, they give me hope. -Your eyes are like coal, they do nothing for me. Now please go away.

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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Guy: If you look at your keyboard, you see U and I together. Girl: Look underneath. It says JK.

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

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Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

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- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!