Man: Hey, I write the most perverted mini stories on ANTIPICKUPLINE ;) Any woman: ME SO HONNY ME LOVE YOU LONG TIME! Moral: Hentai keeping peop... never mind... not into animated cartoons DO YOU THINK I AM A PERVERT OR SOMETHING?.. cant help it that my mother looks like a damn hot pornstar though...

He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

With the escalating price of rohypnol, most girls aren't worth my attention.

girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

Man: Hey lady, wanna come home with me? Woman: A man like you :D would ask a woman like me? I... I cannot believe it... sniff... excuse me this is so beautiful... ;D I want to of course of course I want to... Man: Want to? Woman: Tell you to go screw yourself moron! Man: But you said beautiful as you looked into my eyes and seemed so happy... Woman: Yes I was looking at my reflection in your eyes to avoid having to look at your disgustingly ugly face! REJECTED like a SONIC BOOM! (now that one was for the non lesb... I mean non drunk women, see? I am quite equal, even to the weaker, yet hot gender)

Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

Hey babe, where've you been all my life. Well let's see, I used to live up north in Newcastle then I moved to Liverpool and I'm just down here in London for one day on work.

Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

I'm your Edward and your my Bella

Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!