Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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MAN- You're trying to imagine me naked aren't you? WOMAN- No. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

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- Hey baby, what's your sign? - Dead End.

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Female: Hey do you wann- Male: You got a purty mouth

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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are you a brush because you just swept me off my feet

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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-Hey baby wanna paint the whole town red? -Yeah, with your blood

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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Chick:- Don't worry, we all get nervous when we meet people. My brother: yeah, but my buttcrack gets sweaty & smelly when i get nervous!

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!