- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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Hello children! :D

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

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Give me some sugar... honey.

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-So, you wanna...? -I'm on my period.

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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At a bar. M: I so wanna sex you! W: What? :) M: What part of sex did you not get? VAGINA! W: You have problems with your heart? (angina) :( M: Stop screwing with me bitch! W: I dont have no itch... :/ *The man gets insulted and leaves* Woman: Cute guy, I wish I wasn't nearly deaf though... Moral "patience is a virtue?" Hell no! The guy got laid with 6 women that day so the moral is "The more people listen to what you have to say, the more you will get laid this day, and a deaf woman is a challenge if she aint your way"

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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Wife: I have a confession to tell you my wife said to me one day... Before we got together I was raped by a masked man and I really liked it. Me: I know.

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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How much per quarter hour? Actually do you do 10 minute blocks?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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