- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

You seem rapable enough... wanna see some back alleys with me?

Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

HEY BITCH! GET YOUR ASS HOME AND GIVE ME A THUMBS UPS AT HORSEHEAD NETWORK! Moral: And be rewarded ;) (unless you are fucking ugly, then you still get the gift of voting me whatever way you want)

- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

Do you know why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

-I'll do anything,no matter how kinky it is if you can say it in three words. -Clean my house.

You're like a drug to me. why because I'm so addicting?:) No, because you ruined my life.

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

Dating post: "Nice male looking for female company, I have a steady job and would prefer if you too had a job, you will be particularity happy if you have a small penis fetish. Signed BIGPENIS19INCHESJIMlight sleeper

Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"