Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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Why are peploe gieving me thums up al of soodden? Moral: Its scawwy, normally the moral is what protects my genius comments from getting thumbed up.

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him: your like the sun in the morning. her: that so sweet! him: Your very big and i can even stare at you for more then 2 secondes.

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4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

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hey, your cute. hey, your not.

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

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Baby! you're on fire! Yeah, well I am an arsonist.

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Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!