B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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Would you like to come home with me you wetback spic?

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Guy: Did you use Windex on your pants? Girl: No, why? Guy: Because I see myself in your pants.

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My greatest strength is my self-deprecating sense of humor, but its probably not worth getting to know me.

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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Man: did you just fart cuz you blew me away! Woman: actually I did, sorry if it smells I had enchiladas for lunch.

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-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

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Female: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Male: I'm actually a broom in disguise.

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Girl: You look so happy, I am glad this is working out. Freud: Maaaaan I was just thinking about fucking my mom! Moral: Sickman Fraud.

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Hey ladies ;) I like to post lots of anti-pickuplines! ;) Girls: WOW! I WANNA JOIN YOU HOME! ME TOO ME TOO! The anti-part: This will never happen in real life.

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*a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation* girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go *gives phone* girl - *silence* *after awkward phone call* boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - *silence* boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH *boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl* *girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy* *boy manages to get out of the bar* *boy installs bomb in center of bar* *boy leaves bar* *everyone attempts to get out of bar* *boy locks the door* boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- *explosion* *everyone dies* MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

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My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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Man: Is your name sherly? Woman: No... Man: because id like to Fuc* you in the ass and call you sherly

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Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!