Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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Jdkfk

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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Girl: I like a romantic man. Man: oh yes? Girl: Yeah he would have to sing to me... Man: Ehem... cough... okay here goes:Madness? Madness! Madness? Madness! Girl: What? Man: THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A A-A-A-A-A! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A.... Girl: EEEK MY EARS! *runs away* Man: Wait where are you going I am not even finished singing my youtube sparta mix!! Moral: When its hot, they pinch back, *wheeze*

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Gaywatch starts

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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Hey wanna have sex and get married! ......... sorry.......

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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Boy : Gurle: hi

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Hello im a thief and I'm here to steal your purse

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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-Do you like me? -No

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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Guy: Do you have a mirror in your pocket... Girl: Why? Because you can see yourself in my pants, I've heard that before. Guy: No, I want to check how I look before I go over and talk to your sister.

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(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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