-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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Low confidence edition: Woman: Hi there cutie, you new here? Guy: Lady, believe me I am out of your league. Woman: You look really nice and I was wondering if... Guy: No really, believe me, I am boring and a virgin, but my mom says I am nice, but pfft no, just stop wasting your time and giving me false allusions please... Moral: Someone kill that faggot!

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- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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Eat me, I'm organic!

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Are you a fart? Because you just blew me away.

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wanna go halves on a b*stard?

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Are you from Wales, because...well...

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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"Hey girl, is there a mirror in your pants?" "No, that's just my penis."

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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HONEY! I SEE MEDUSA!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait, it was just you

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what's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rapee? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!