Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

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He- You've got something on your ass. She- What? He- Oh never mind, it's just a period stain.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

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Sosiopath vs How I met your mother: Kids, this is how I met your mother. I saw her at some store, I said "Hey sexy" She told me to fuck off, so I raped her, got out of prison years later, and kids, that is how I met your mother. ...Why I am leaving? Did I ever fucking say I was your father? I Just came here to tell you I raped and killed her after serving my time which was about 2 minutes, so kids, that is how I killed your mother. YOU ARE WELCOME BY THE WAY! Ungrateful kids... Moral of the story: If they are your kids, just say no and get away, and kill Robin for better television. Bonus because nobody loves you :( Me? People either love me around here, or you know... cough... psst...rapeandie? Lets keep that a secret between us and EEEEEVEEEERYBODY ELLLLLLLSSEEEEEE (SECRET ABOVE ALERT ALERT ALERT!) Sosiopath vs Grounded for life Moral: Shot the little kid, nobody will notice, not even his own family.

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

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Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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Man - "Does this smell like chloroform to you?" Woman - "Yes it does."

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Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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cockface

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

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In regard to the post below. I'm not even joking, one of my mates actually said that to a girl.

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!