Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I cant rhyme, ever since my dog and I were walking down the street and then he died and then i cried and then i died and then he cried

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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#1 You're breath smells like Skittles, can I taste the rainbow? No, because , while mine may smell like Skittles, yours reeks. #2 Girl: Hey, I got this new Kiss Proof lip gloss, wanna try it out? (there are 2 answers to this) 1.Boy: Well, yours may be Kiss Proof, but mines not, and I don't have time to re-apply this after 2. Yeah, I do want to try it out, but not with you.

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. *unzips pants*

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B: Hey C do you wanna go out with me? C: Sorry B I only go out with guy's who come after me

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

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There's a reason why they call my penis the Bunker Buster.

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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Are you Jamaican? Because I love black women

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-Hey baby, are you from Tennessee? Because you're like a solid 7.

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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- Did it hurt? - Yes.

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Still a better love story than Twilight

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!