Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

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M: Hey bitch i'll give you £50 to touch my penis. f: Simon thats an afterschool detention M: SCORE!

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cockface

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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I wish my sister was as hot as you.

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M. you have a sweet pussy. W. WHAT!? M. Your cat, she is very friendly

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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I really should start saying "congratulations" instead of "are you keeping it?"

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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I love you more than my jar of fingers.

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For you that think your family are too overprotective when it comes to sex, this was my story as a teenager. Mom: Hi guys! Me and ladyfriend: Hi mom! This is my ladyfriend: (insert your name if you are female) Dad: Woho! Good catch son! *claps me on shoulder* Mom: Dont worry, you guys just go right up and "study" eh ;) eh ;) and we are gonna put the music REALLY LOUD down here! And there is no need to be ashamed of stains nor anything. Dad: No we understand ;) ;) ;) Girl: Uh... you invited me just to study right? Me: Believe it or not I did... Dad: Yeah you two young ones go study! Remember condom though! ;) Girl: Axel! WTF?! *leaves* Me: Mom.. Dad! WTF!? I dont know anything about algebra (not even to this day, and I am almost 30) Dad: Algebra eh? ;) Next time give her a good "algebra". Me: Mom tell that moron tha... Mom: Relax son, I understand that you boys have desires and the next time you take her with you, you dont need to be ashamed or come up with excuse.. Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Moral: To believe I learned most my ways by having ladyfriends... despite my parents... Mom and Dad overprotective? Good... trust me!

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What did the blond do when the web page she was visiting didn't load? She checked if her wireless access had been somehow cut off and then hit the refresh button and waited for the page to load again.

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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