My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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- Hey good looking, where've I seen you before? - I'm one of the nurses at the plastic surgery department. Want another visit?

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McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

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Are you water? Because you are very shallow. Now GTFO.

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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He: Did you fall from Heaven? She: Well... He: 'Cos I got an erection. She: -__-

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Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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Haven't we met somewheer before? Yes, son.

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

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Man, no im still waiting,need to get my kids, hope its fine son, okay punches, captain falcon, but you break my jaw, I wont even ask for you to pay the bill, ill expect it. Man, good times, honestly, i was not even drunk, I was high as shit, never again tho, they did not tell me it was "magic tobacco" until I started seeing numbers NUMBAS! Hey, mind if I come stay sometime? I mean we really miss you son, you always at the fuckhouse now. Just me and... Well the gang... Just like the twelve of us, tell me who you dont want to invite and ill bounce him out for you. Man dog, that chick I punched down was pretty as fuck, she would have been my wife... Anyway just fucking happy finally a real car dude! If she fucks you to death, you gonna go out young and a Legend among gods, let her keep on sucka! (just don forget bout my sis huh? She asks about you too fucking much already) Man, you got me typing almost as much as you dog, anyway is you know, in four hours allright? If not screw my kid, I need a car ill get him a cab.

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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Sexual harassment, it can be a touchy subject.

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F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

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Stop Footing Around

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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