Is your father a gardener? -No, why? ..Because I was wondering what a cactus like you doing in a place like this.

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Yet another one from real life: At law school: Kid to woman: Why don't I ever get any of you?! *Woman laughs* Me: You could start by not whining so much... Kid: That wont ever work! You know that is bullshit! Its not like I am whining I just whine whenever blahblahblah... Me: Sigh... Girl: He is kinda cute... Me: Wha? Moral: Not a real anti joke, since I had not heard from any of them until today, I just got invited to their wedding...

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rohypnol. rape drug

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Man: Lets have some fun ;) Woman: Sure! Man: Starts telling jokes. Woman: Funny but I thought... Man: What? Woman: Well its a bit uh... silly of me but I thought that we where getting at your place, having a drink and... Man: What? I said fun, not date rape! Woman: Wow... this is really getting nowhere is it? Author: Hell no! Moral: This "anti-pickup" was not even finished and you want a moral too? Pssssssssssssssssshhhhh....

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: USA discovers they do not have nuclear weapons and then gives them nuclear reactors?

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Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

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Those pants are very becoming on you, of course if i were on you id be cu.mm.ing too

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Woman: Hey you look hot and cool, wanna chat? "Man": Meh.. I just stand here with my beerglass trying to look cool in hopes that women ask me out... Woman: UGH! "Man": May I please come with you? Eh... where are you going... HEY! Moral: Trying to look like James Bond in the darkest corner of a bar is not flirting you trucking moron!

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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I may not be the best looking guy in the room, but I'm the only one talking to you.

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Hello children! :D

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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