- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

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Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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I think I shit myself

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Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

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He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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Male: Get in the van.

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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I'm a bad lover. I once caught a peeping tom booing me.-Rodney Dangerfield

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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Roses are red Violets are blue Go out with me Or you face'll be those colors, too!

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How does a ghost walk through walls? There's normally a door.

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!