- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

Guy: Hey is your dad a jeweler? Girl: No, He died a year ago due to a heart condition.

Girl, do you believe in love by first sight? Uh maybe... Okay, let me see if those titties of you are real or wonderbra or silicone or whatever... Moral: You are fantastic, you know who you remind me of? Myself ;)

SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

I'll drop my standards, if you drop your pants ;)

Yo wazzup hoes? You knew black guys have the biggest dicks ever? ;) Uh, so what? You are white. Oh... yeah... Moral: Damn wiggers.

Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

Boy: You know the keyboard says that U and I are together. Girl: It also says JK

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I take a shit I think about you bitch flushes the toilet

- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

-Hi miss are you a catchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hotdog to you

Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book