- Anti-Pickup Line

If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

are you on fire?

I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

Hey baby, wanna make $50?

-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

Drink this!

Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

Boy-Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until I heard that horrible pick-up line.

Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

Keep it classy! Man: Hello mylady may I be as rude as to say you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen? Girl: Oh, wow I mean such class! Man: Yes you see, I am only asking... You see, would you mind a bit of some violent rapage? Girl: How dare you! Man: Oh I mean not be rude mylady, just a bit of torture and some few stylish cuts with my fancy knife? Moral: Whatever you do, whatever you want, KEEP IT CLASSY!

Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

him: why are you so gorgeous? her: i dont know i guess my parents had some really good sex.

Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!