Guy:I got stds! Wanna do it? Girl:what the f*** did u just say?guy:oh std ummmm save the dogs?uh ya that save the dogs I own a animal shelter! Girl:I'm not stupid guy: u sure? (Slap)

Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

Hi girls... whos coming home with me? And please dont reject me because I am a rich man and rejection makes me throw thousand dollar bills at random.

Girls hate me, they always discuss about how they regret fucking with me over and over again. Moral: Thumb me down, I know ya love me.

M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

Can I go to your house and play with your Jigglypuff?

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

-Do you believe in love at first sight or do you want me to walk by again? -Yeah, but this time don't stop!

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

F: I AM SO DRUNK AND HORNY I COULD FUCK ANYONE M: Hey, wanna fuck? F: I SAID ANYONE.. Not anything... Heck I got standards! Moral: Heck she has standards! Her dog is someone!

did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

Hold me pint love i'm going for a dump.

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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