ANYWAY... I have been married for around X years right? (My wife is anon because reasons valid reasons!) And I told my wife "Babe, you know what you got married into baby, how about you and I consider having a third one in the bed... No not a guy, thats disgusting, you agree? Awwride! So anyways, she was like "Uh... Ask me again in a year I need to think things trough, and I want you for myself..." Next week we was fucking my new (back then neighbor) which is 28 or whatever (I dont remember my neighbors name BAHAHA (actual laugher)... Peeps, say what you want about me, ill be the one fucking the prom queen tomorrow... And you know, maybe someone else, sex with more than my waifu the prom queen is addictive, I mean sharing (salive, cum juices) is caring right? Okay, I better stop here, Rebecca (SHADDAP AUTOCORRECT ITS HOW HER NAME IS SPELLED... I guess) is upset... No not because I am typing this, but because I am out here freezing my ballz off smoking her ciggs... Man The great stuff about "decent equipment" is that I dont need all that much energy, just the speed to keep the girls screaming!

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back becausemfalling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

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Q: Why are Italian girls so hairy? A: Because it turns out its a genetic predisposition in which almost all males and females have when of the Italian ethnicity, these genetics are also parts of other race types.

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

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-Wanna go to my place? -Actually, I was gonna ask you the same question. -Really? Where do you live? -In a sexual harassment class.

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-wow I could just drown in the ocean of your eyes -well why don't you -well I'll steal your sisters number, get lost at sea, and shipreck in her bed Then you can come and save us when she is shouting S.O.S out of the other room

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

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Man: GASP! Why is my penis inside your vagina? Why do you keep thrusting and screami... Woman: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ASSHOLE! Man: Uh... what where am... Oh... Forgive me, I am a psychic and I keep getting premonitions of the near future... Moral: GASP WHAT ARE YOU FEMALE READERS DOING WITH MY PINGAS INSIDE YOUR MOUTH!

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

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-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

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who wants to play EPAR

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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