GET INTO DA CHOPPAH! Moral: IM LIEUTENANT JOHN KIMBLE! I HAVE A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IMMEDIATELY! Whoos your daddy? YOU STAP IT! YOU IDIEOUT!

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

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Her: Are you from China? Because I’m China get your number Him: Tibet you are. But I'm not Russian into anything, sorry.

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adam burdass

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Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: *shatters* Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

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haha

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Man: Hey! Are you into stuff like violence robbery rape cheating orgies machismo torture and pedophilia? ;) ;) Girl: WHAT? NO! Man: Ok me neither so you qualify to come home with me. Girl: Well... that honestly makes you better than most of the lot... why not... so yeah lets go!

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Guy: (Walks up to girl) "I do not think it is a girls body that makes her special, it is her personality that really counts". Girl: "Well that's to bad because you can't have sex with my personality". (Then walks away)

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"My mom won't be home for hours..."

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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You're so hot I'd do you sober.

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B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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- if I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U next to Y, just why

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!