- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

I wish my sister was as hot as you.

Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

"My mom won't be home for hours..."

-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

sound of zipper

My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

Man: Hey lady... you new here? I havent seen you around here before ;) Woman: Im your wife! >:/ Man: Which one of them? I have married so many sluts just to get sex with them... that I forget about...

Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book