- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

Does it smell in here or it just you?

Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: bitchslap get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

I've got a black belt in lovin'.

And then one day God invented man, the worlds third most useless invention. Moral: I cant stop laughing, thank you everybody I actually got top grades in sociology studies for this moral man crap XD

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

Male: If you were a booger, I'd pick you first. Female: If you were an ass, I would kick you first.

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

Five dollar women... WOO!

No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

-Hi Honey I'm home! -I'm not talking to you! -Oh, Okay. -Don't you want to know why? -No, I trust and respect your decision dear

Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

Boy: You know, just because one is beautiful does not mean that she is intelligent. Girl: Really? Boy: Yeah. But I'd like to tell you that you're a very good exception. Girl: Do you really think so? Boy: Of course! You're already ugly, yet you're so incredibly stupid!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book