Female Police officer: Anything you say can and will be held against you. Me: Boobies.

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Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I don't want for Christmas?

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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Hi there, the voices in my head are telling me to talk to you.

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Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

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girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

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He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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Man : Wanna go to my house tonight? Woman : I'm not sure if a rock can fit 2 people inside.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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Jdkfk

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Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

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Guy: are you AT&T because you are raising my bar Girl: Sorry I use Verizon. it has better 4G coverage

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

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i wanna see your dick? i cant seem to find it...... sorry

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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Guy: Hey :) Guy: Hey to you too :) Don't jump to conclusions people. They're gay.

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Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

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Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!