- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... silence

If I had chloroform and a rag, you'd be waking up in a closet tomorrow.

hey wanna come back to my house, and help me kill my dog?

Drink this!

Hey baby, you make me wanna get a job.

If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put "U" and "I" as far apart as possible.

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? nwaaahhh blushing or something Because it looks like you landed on your face.

Glass Basketball

Golf.

Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

i am with stupid l l l \/

If you were my daughter id still be bathing you

guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

Does this rag smell of chloroform to you?

Are your prices by the hour

are you on fire?

Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

-Darling, I will never stop pursuing you. Even from the ends of the earth, I will follow you wherever you go. Really, I love you that much. -"Honey", I will call the police and have you thrown in jail for stalking me. Really, I hate you that much.

did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book