Are you a broom? Cause you look like a rather dull, inanimate object that collects dust.

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

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"Hmm...you'll do."

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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Man: Yeah I have done it with thousands of women all around the world... THOUSANDS! Woman: Okay... then ill come home with you, I want an experienced man to be my first... At his house: Woman: I AM SCARED! Will it hurt? Its my first time and... Man: I dunno! I am scared as Its my first time too! :( Moral: A man whose is scared of sex... pfffffff!

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Guy: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Girl: If I could rearange the alphabet, I'd put F and U together

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put U and I together - U and me - Grammer freak

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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I'm desperate, you'll do.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!