Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Hey wanna smash pissers?

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That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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guy scientist: hey can i send a probe to explore uranus? girl scientist: hey can i send a rocket with you in it to the sun/

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Man: Hey babe ;) I may not be the smartest guy around, but look at these muscles! (flexes like crazy). Girl: Sorry, I am blind... Man: Oh... do you hear my sexy raspy voice though? Girl: Sorry I am also deaf... Man: Oh... (leaves) 2 Weeks later: Man: HEY THAT WOMAN TRICKED ME! SHE SAID SHE WAS DEAF BUT WAS CAPABLE OF SPEAKING! DEAF PEOPLE DO NOT SPEAK!.... I think...

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Male: You are a Drugs? Female: Why? because your so addicted to me? Male: Nope, You ruined my life!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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Get in the van.

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Hey girl, want to meet the guy with the largest dick in town ;)? Wow yeah sure! Yeah that would be like cool rite? Moral: The biggest? *looks down pants* Meh!

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!