I hope you like trees because I've got wood!

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-wow I could just drown in the ocean of your eyes -well why don't you -well I'll steal your sisters number, get lost at sea, and shipreck in her bed Then you can come and save us when she is shouting S.O.S out of the other room

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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Every kiss begins with K ;) Yeah to bad ugly begins with U

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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Nice legs what time do they open

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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Little guy: I also beat Mike Tyson with my fists! Woman: Meh, from what I heard you beat some nobody named Mr.Dream! Little guy: Damn you Nintendo! Moral: He sure was not a big mac... more like a little ma.. baaaah you wont get it anyways!....

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

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Man: Wanna come see my collection of stamps? ;) Woman: Actually id prefer we go to your place have sex ;) Man: GEEEEEEEZ! What does a man have to do to show off his stamp collection here?

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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-"Hey babe, you gotta nice ass!" -"Yep, and it doesn't like a rude one staring at it."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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