wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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Are you from Austrailia? Because I'd like to put my tongue in your butthole

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! *walks away disgusted* Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Have you ever heard of World of Warcraft?

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

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Try to put your arm around her. If she pushes you away, then say: "Relax! Relax. I'll pay for the first abortion!"

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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- Haven't we met before? - Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic.

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Hey I used to be a man, but I'm pretty horny.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Man - Hey you're kinda pretty! Woman - Um thanks... Man - Whoa slow down! I said kinda.

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-I looked up beautiful in the thesaurus today and your name was included. -Thanks! Hey, I saw your name next to jerk.

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Boy-That's a nice outfit. Girl-Thanks!!! Boy- It would look even better scrunched up at the end of my bed.

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!