Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

hey bitch

Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

B:wanna go out sometime? G:I'll go out now and get away from you.

Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

male-"Do you have a rape fetish?" fenale-"No, i don't" male-"Ohh... Well you're not going enjoy this."

Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

Me: Honestly, I just want to RAPING you. Woman: YES PLEASE! Me: Fuck off its not RAPING it its consensual... Moral: Yeah sometimes they say yes, its when they say no I become shadow made flesh... ...And wait for you... Am I here?... NOPE Ill get you rawr I will now stalk you silently for hours... days... Anyway im bored your nothing ... Moral: SAY YES YOU MUCKING MIDIOT!

Dont let this rape turn into a murder

Grapist: I bet you like getting Graped, tied up and beaten muahahahahaha! I am so gonna do the worst things to you! Woman: YES PLEASE! Man: MAAAAAAAAAAAN your not fun anymore... Moral: Its not grape if she wants it... and I guess grapists dont like that... remember that girls whenever someone is gonna rape you just say YES unless they yell surprise though... then its surprise sex.

NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

You smell just like my mom...

Damn gurl, are you a microwave? Cause for sure you are burning me hot.

GUY: are you trash? cuz i'd like to take you out friday night GIRL: are you trash? cuz you smell like it

If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

Do Your feet hurt? Cause youve been stomping on my dreams for 3 years now

I stole this pickup line from Antipickupline.com.

M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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