Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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whats your name beautiful? ;) Tony... (silence)

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Yeah... you'll have to do.

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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M: Woah I am drunk baby... But I gotta say... you`re the hottest bitch in town! B: Bark bark!

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M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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Man: Do you want to have sex at my house Women: No

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What do u get when u mix a black a guy and an octopus The best dam cotton pickin machine you'll ever see!

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Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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If you and I were squirrels, I'd bust a nut in that hole.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!