-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Hey baby, i like your hair -girl takes off wig

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-If I saw you naked, I'd die happy. -If I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing.

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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if you were my sister i'd totally get with you.

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Guy- Hey girl do u like math Girl-um, sure Guy- ok I got a problem... Add a bed, subtract the clothes, divide the legs and multiply the bodies.... What does that equal.... Girl- u and ur homo friends

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Super man and Lois lane doing it... Supes: WOMAN I AM SO uh.. tHORNY that I want to thrust as hard as I can and... Lois: YAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Supes: Oh noes! R.I.P Lois Lane... Ripped In Pieces Indeed... Moral: Hey at least moral man can get laid... (a moral man fake... well actually original)

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Im gonna rape you..

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Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

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I am terribly sorry for talking to you, but I was wondering if...

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Hey giiiiiiiiiiirl, I'm no Flinstone but I can make your bedrock.

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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After hearing a pickup line: -I like your approach, now let's see your departure.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!