- Anti-Pickup Line

Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go gives phone girl - silence after awkward phone call boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - silence boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy boy manages to get out of the bar boy installs bomb in center of bar boy leaves bar everyone attempts to get out of bar boy locks the door boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- explosion everyone dies MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

Real life again: I was about sixteen: Girl: Hey I hear you are good at tekken tag! Me: Yeah, but I dont play videogames anymore (a lie in order to appear "cooler") Girl: I am pretty good too! I love Kuma and Panda Me: Well, okay... Girl: Want to play with me? Me: Meh... Girl: But I really want to play with you if you know what I mean ;) Me: I dont play tekken... Girl: Not even... "Tekken" ;) ;) Me: Nah... Moral: I am a late bloomer to say the least...

Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

You look exactly like my sister.

Man: Hey whore! I got a job for you! A blow-Job... get it? HAR HAR HARR! Woman: Wtf? Man: Just a joke whore... wanna come to my place?

Girl, wanna fuck rite now? Sure! Man! You are such a hoe! walks away disgusted Moral: Be careful for what you ask for.

He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

Stories from real life part whatever: Me as a twelve year old: Yeah I am incredibly experienced with girls, I mean I know I look very young for a eighteen year old man, but I consider it a advantage of mine... Seventeen year old girl: Really? You are eighteen? Me: Of course, besides II have had intercourse hundred of times, mostly with married women, I enjoy being their "guilty pleasure" Girl: I bet you haven't seen boobs like these though! shows me boobs Me: OMG! HOLY SHIT REAL BEEWBS! OMG HOLY CRAP THEY LOOK INCREDIBLE HOLY SHIT EVERYONE I JUST SAW REAL LIFE TITS! I am a winner! Last thing I remember was getting slapped several times and getting spit on, I was too damn happy to give a damn, I was victory. Moral: had you asked me if it worked by then id say "hell yes!", today I doubt it worked as well as it could have...

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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