Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

on a scale from 1 to 10, when did you lose your virginity?

He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

GEDDINTHEFRIGGENCAR

Sickman Fraud: Hmm you look remotely alike my mother... Woman: Uh? Sickman Fraud: Yes fucking you should das probably give me some release, die reason to resist me is not necessary, you envy my pingas and I can assign it to you if you put on this ugly wig and yell "bad boy" whilzt I das fukte das rassenhol... Woman: OMG SICK! Moral: The father of modern psychology? Seriously?! I was going for a bachelor in psychology studies, but its just disgusting.

Are you doing push-ups with your knees down? Cuz im not sure if this is working out.

if u were a triangle u'd be an obtuse one fat ass

If we were confronted, by a vicious man-eating bear with chain-saws for hands and fangs, holding a hammer; than I would sincerley hope you wouldn't be harmed because you're pretty.

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

-wow I could just drown in the ocean of your eyes -well why don't you -well I'll steal your sisters number, get lost at sea, and shipreck in her bed Then you can come and save us when she is shouting S.O.S out of the other room

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

-hey, come here a minute.

Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

Girl: Wanna see my dick? Man: WHAT? Moral: This actually started out as me just mixing up the girl and guy part...

are you on fire?

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!