- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... everyone runs out screaming Batman: facepalm Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!

- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- sound of gun clicking Woman: Thanks!

Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

Every girl wants to be swept off her feet... It's when you put her in the trunk of your car that she starts to freak out.

Close you`re eyes and open you`re mouth. unzips pants

- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Batman enters a bar: Batman: Ladies... I am Batman... *everyone runs out screaming* Batman: *facepalm* Moral: Want to be feared? Well what did you expect? Who I am? Are you dense? Retarded or something? I am the goddamn Moral-Man!