Does the carpet match the drapes? -Do I look bald?

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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"Don't scream"

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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Boy: did it hurt when you fell from heaven Girl: I'm a antsiest

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He-Are you from Tennesse? Still He-Cu'z I wanna suck ur face off..

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You seem reasonably clean, which is always an important consideration for me when selecting a woman.

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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When I said bitch, I meant it as a compliment...

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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Hey baby, wanna make $50?

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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Hey baby, have you ever been to Uranus? No? Well I am about to.

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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Your breast is like a beer holder, you would allow me to store beer in between your breasts, while I talk on the phone

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!