Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

I heard this one in real life in Spain, pretty good one: Man: Please marry me! I am nothing without you! Woman: If you are worth nothing then why should I want you? Man: Uh... Moral: Its a great honor having a dedicated group of followers making sure my comments always have red thumbs, thanks to this my sociology studies are complete. My thanks to every azzhole out there.

NEROMETAL`S GUIDE ON HOW YOU! YES YOUUU CAN BANG 12 CHICKS AT ONCE (well I banged eleven one wussed out) Short version (Extra "short" version below) 1. YOU? YOU? LOL YOU ARE LUCKY IF YOUR HANDS DONT GET A HEADACHE WHEN YOU GET A BONER! 2. GO to your mom and say... "mommy, do you love me?" And if she says yes dear and you dont have pants or underwear on and your dick pops up and she stares at it like... "aww, thats like the nicest tiniest thing ever..." (Sigh yeah mother are like that, I know... Not really was raised by my big sister, banged her... (much better) Solvemedia: Go berskerk... BITCH DOES IT LOOK LIKE YOU NEEDD TO TELL ME? WHY YOU RIDING MARCEL LIKE A HOE? Ps: I bet Harris to post a comment with over 50 LETTERS here, he refused, so now he owes me about 1800 dollars yeah, because it was not a bet, just because he owes me cash and admitted that that is the reason he "aproves" of me banging his sister. JOHN "MACK" HARRIS FIRST OF ALL I PREFER HAVING YOU IN CONSTANT DEBT, SECOND THE FUCK IF I NEED YOUR APROVAL HAVE YOU SEEN HOW SHE STILL CANT SITT WITHOUT LIFTING HER TIGHTS A BIT? I AM LIKE "GIRL YOUR ASSHOLE IS TOO TIGHT" SHE IS ALL LIKE "PLEASE OH PLEASE OOOH YES YES HARDER" And then my dick gets squashed again... Ouchie... But you know... HARRIS YOUR SISTERS ASS IS NOT TOO TIGHT ANYMORE! GIVE ME A THUMBS UP... Uh... How to say it political... Nevermind, I call him niggs or bro, he is pale... Yeah, white, casper. HARRIS! GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE AND POST FIFTHY FUCKING WORDS AND YOU OWE ME NOTHING (Your sister is mine "bro" she even calls me "bro", and since I fucked my sister which raised me, im really cool with that) Or else Harris (I sent him/You harris an email) Ill want my money tomorrow at exactly 12:00 am, or else some accidents, might happen to your knees... Nah... Ill just hmm... You know I am a lawyer right? Ill sue you for everything you got... ...Yeah because a guy that constantly owes his overlord money has so much to sue away from... JUST STOP BEING A CHICKENSHIT HARRIS!

Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

Hey good looking, what some mayonnaise?

If you were a Pokemon I'd choose you!

WOMAN! GO MAKE ME A SANDWICH NOW! Girl: But I do not even know you!? Man: Oh... uh.. hi sexy.. wanna get to know me?

On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

You allergic to semen?

Are you a Potato? Because I love Potatoes.

Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. -Nah, i already like it the way it is, with N and O beside each other

Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

Holla holla holla, ill be there like right now, its a bit far. But dawg, did you say you are both at work and banging a chick? Someone is bragging here yo son! Anyways, phone is dead, gotten towed like 50-60 times in total (not only the freeway), and... Nah man, its cool, you know I dont really ask for much, I mean I can still pay you something. Yeah your skinny bitch hands, you can slap me 50 times son.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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