You know how I know we're going to have sex, tonight? I'm bigger than you.

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Lesbihonest

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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Do you want to see something swell?

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Guy - Did it hurt? Girl - Giving birth to my triplets? Yes, it was like shitting a walrus.

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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If I said you had a beautiful body I'd be lying.

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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M:Hey baby you must be a GENERAL because your making my PRIVATES stand up F:Hmm, Your still a MAJOR disappointment See whaat i did tharrgh?

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

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- Hey, what do you do for a living? - Female impersonator

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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Are you a dementor? Cause you take my breath away.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!