Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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In the USA: Man: Hello, I am half Iraq and half Afghanistan, my name is Osama Bin Allah! Girl: Oh... Uh em... I do not mind you nor anything but, you are like uh... civilized and stuff right? Just asking! Man: Of course miss, so how many camels to get into your pussy? Girl: OMG! Man: WAIT YOU MISHEAR ME! I SAY HOW MANY CARAMELS TO GET INTO YOUR... never mind... Moral: Seriously just give up, this must be the worst "pickupline" ever

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What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

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Damn you look good in beer goggles.

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Man: Your body is a temple! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

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Girl, if your body was for sale... ...ID BUY THAT FOR A DOLLAR! Moral: Thank you Robocop.

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Man - How was your trip from heaven? Woman - Great... until now.

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Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

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How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

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girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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you have your job, I have mine, so let's do it in the kitchen

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!