if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

whats up ho

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -133

Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

thumb_up thumb_down +113

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going out and I was like O Mg.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

thumb_up thumb_down -111

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

- Is it hot in here, or is it just the broken A/C unit?

thumb_up thumb_down -33

I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

thumb_up thumb_down +162

can i take a dump in your mouth?

thumb_up thumb_down -127

MAN: Did it hurt? WOMAN: Did what hurt? MAN: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? WOMAN: Did it hurt when you were dropped as a baby?

thumb_up thumb_down +102

Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Do you believe in rape by first sight? Moral: I think its immoral enough as it is already.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Hey girl, you a single mom I heard, I love that. Really? :D SURE! Hey just between us, how sexy are your kids on a scale from one to over nine thousand? Moral: Watch out ladies, I can only take care of so many of you... (you have kids? Meh, get lost,nothing personal, just you know... your kid)

thumb_up thumb_down +26

haha

thumb_up thumb_down -49

my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

thumb_up thumb_down -67

Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

You look like a dog... Wana bone?

thumb_up thumb_down -90

Guy- Hey, wanna come back to my place? Girl- Umm... I don't think 2 people can fit in that box...

thumb_up thumb_down -96

-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

thumb_up thumb_down +200

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!