Guy: Thanks Girl: Why? Guy: Cuz you made me get rid of that boner

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

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The below is no anti-pickupline unless you are a Jehova`s witness and want to uh... save my sole or something? Or just read a fun story... Moral: Like pick up lines is something one of them would use... actually they do after I reject their many offers... how? Keep on reading below to find out... its fun, promise. (unless you are a Jehova`s witness...)

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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For the males that do not know what I mean with "woman screams" comment below... well HAHAHAHAHAH LOSERS LOOOOOOOOOOOSEEEEEEEEERS! Moral: Read a book about females more interesting parts one day you lazy bastard... as for the girls... I am not talking about anything bad nor dirty... just 12 hour orgasms and such nice things... WHAT? YOU GONNA TELL ME THAT IS HORRIBLE? Well in that case you dont know what you are missing... and you wont ever know.... Ps: Can you believe I am actually trying to get thumbs downs but keep getting upped? Thanks for accepting my ever growing controversial nature, lets keep it that way and soon moral man will uh... receive a medal for uh... well a small keychain for... uh... you know what? Never mind.

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

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Did you just fart coz you're blowing me away!

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm using my hand but thinking of you ;)

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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Golf.

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

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- you're so fat! - I know you are, but what am I? -awwww, thanks man!!! -I didn't mean it like that!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!