Sigh... No I do not have a van... Just get in the plane!

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Woman: Seriously you are like the perfect man, I barely even met you and want to marry you already! What is your name by the way? Guy: My name is Le Petite Chessedeburger Withnowhitesauce! Woman: I am gay by the way, gotta go feed my uh... my wife yeah my wife.

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Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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Man: Hey yo sexy, wanna do it in the toilet so I can brag about banging the prom queen? The toilets are dirty but I got aids anyways and... Fine brit Lady: Eh well sire, you see... SURE! Moral: ANTICLIMACTIC ENDING SUCCESS!

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Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

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Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... *door slams*

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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- I'd do anything for you. - Die.

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- Professor Dumbledore, where are we? - You're dead, stupid. Snape trolled you.

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- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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you look like my mother

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Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!