that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

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Q: Where did Bethany hide the dead baby? A: In the trash can

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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- I can tell that you want me. - Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave.

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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Mario: Its a me Mario! Woman: Uhuh... Mario: Its a me Mario? Woman: Yeah you got a point? Mario: Okey dokey! Woman: So? Mario: Letsa go! Woman: Well okay, I mean *chews bubblegum* at least I know who you are and stuff... Moral: I once saw a red mushroom come out of a question block, so I just touch it with my Richard and... ...Wait ill take the green one, just in case, I good with what I have...

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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As a man I am afforded greater opportunity then my equally qualified female counterparts. I have made it a life goal use this opportunities for greater good.

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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Him: Has anyone ever told you that you are absolutely beautifull...?? Her: (smiles) and says no.. Him: there is a good reaseon for that..

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

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Drink this!

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? 1000 pounds

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-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!