- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

-Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away.

Man: Desperate for sex? Woman: Actually, kinda... Man: Great! Woman: :D Man: Because you see, my grandpa is dying of aids and wants to spread his disease so part of him can live in... Where you going? Moral: Desperate for sex? Too bad I have a pulmonary infection rite nao.

Mother: Fuck me son fuck me harder. Me: Mother no! My body is not ready aaaaaaaaaarghhh! Moral: Why do dreams have to stop when it gets good? Dont know son, ready for round two?

My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun so get in the van.

Guy: I believe in women's rights. That's what women deserve. Girl: Oh really? Because I was just gonna go make you a sandwich and get in bed with you, but I guess not...

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

What did the priest say to the rabbi? We are both religious figures at the head of our places of worship.

Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: Ascending from hell and breaking through the earth's crust.

Welcome to DIE!

here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

How much do you love me? Look at the stars and count them Bu-but it's afternoon Exactly

“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book