Man: Lady... Seriously, I got a PhD! Woman: Seriously, you look more like an athlete, in what? Man: Lady... I got a pretty huge Richard. Moral: RICHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARDS!

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

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You must be tired... I assume you are because I am after following you on your four mile run through the park today.

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If your happy and you know it clap your hands!! What if I lost my hands in Nam while I was singing this song and a plane killed my friend causing me to ct off both of my hands?

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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what goes up and down , side to side all the time? a compass get your mind out of the gudder.

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Excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Babe, you Jewish? cuz your on FIRE!

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun get in the van

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Morals, greatest weakness revealed!: Doctor doctor! I cannot succeed at... pant pant *shorts shorts* *whine wheeze* at... At... AAAAAARGUUUUUU!!! FUCKING DOCTOR I CANNOT SUCCED AT... THE PAAAAAYNE! MAX PAYNE! BUHUHUHUHU!!! THE PAAAAINYE I CANNOT...SUCCEED AT... Doctor: At what? Shutting the fuck up? AND LEAVE THE HORSHEHEAD NETWORK? Moral: XD I cannot stop laughing, I am crying fucking tears of laughter :)) I was completely not gonna type that but then it spontaneously suddenly idea get! XD Moral: Green thumbs for self irony, this comment shall get one green thumbs ups, and it shall one green thumbs ups get, and the number of thumbs ups shall be one, as one be the number of thumbs ups. Moral: And I have not even said anything Moral: I deserve that green thumb this time! I earned it! SHAAAME YOU DARE SPOILMY GREEN THUMB OF VICTOLY WITH YOUR RED THUMB! SHAAAME! BUILD THE WALL OF FAILURE! FASTER STRONGER HARDER! I CURSE SHAME UPON YOUR SHAME AND BATHE IT IN THE WATER AND FLAMES OF SHAAAAAME! ALL BEFORE I SPrinkle it with small bits of sugar... AND SHAAAAME! LEAVE THE GREEN THUMB ALONE!!!! BUAHUAHAHA! LEAVE IT ALONEEEEEEEEE! Moral: HEEEY HEY! WHERE ARE YOU GOING WITH THAT GREEN THUMB! I SAID ONE GREEN THUMB! ONE! AND ONLY MINE! SHAME!!!!

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H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Damn you look good in beer goggles.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I was born beautiful, But what the hell happened to you!

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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Your face is like mace, every time i see if i get blinded

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!