"Is it true you're a lesbian?"

good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

are u an angle because i have a boner oh what fail

-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

I like my women like I like my coffee I drink Tea

Skilled man enters a bar: Man: Lady, I am a scientist... Lady: So? Man: I also have black belt in several martial arts... Lady: Your point? Man: uh... I have uh... Lady: Sigh... *gets up and leaves* Moral: Knowing what and how to be attractive to women is an art on its own...

Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

I wish my sister was as hot as you.

Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

I'm your Edward and your my Bella

If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

It's not Rapee If you yell surprise!

Are you from Tennessee? Youre the only 10 i see, and im 59. I bet we could 69 beautifully.

Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

who wants to play EPAR

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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