Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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male: hey wanna ride female: STRANGER DANGER!

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- Do you have the time? - Sure, if you have the place!

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At Barlevania: Man: Yo lady... mind if I hang around? Woman: Uh... wait... there is a weird song outside... Man: Yeah but you will you... yeah... its getting louder! *nana nanananana nana* Man: What the hell is that? Woman: No idea, its getting louder! *NANA NANANANANANA KATAMARI DAMACY NANA NANANANANANANA KATAMERUUUUU! DAMACY DAMACY*¨¨ *Both the man and the woman gets rolled up in a spirit ball by the prince, in no time the bar gets rolled up as well* Dun dun dun dun dun dun Du du dun dun STAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAARLIGHT STAAAAAAAAAAAR LIGHT! King of all cosmos: Eh.. buenos dias! That means good day in Spanish the king thinks... the king likes languages... Eh? What is this insignificant thing you rolled up? Earth? The king does not like it... it feels too earthy! To humanny and stuff... *The king of all cosmos throws the earth away towards outer space* "ROLLED UP EARTH HAS BECOME PLANET EARTH!" Moral: Katamari Damacy taught us all that it does not have to make sense to be funny, but its not a good idea to for anyone to hit on anything while the planet is being rolled up...

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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(At a Funeral) Male: I have a raging erection.

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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"Wow, you look so thin! Are you wearing a girdle?"

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

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My wife asked me to pass her the lip balm but I accidentally gave her the glue stick, she is still not talking to me.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Jdkfk

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Man: Honestly! I am just desperate, and besides you are damn hot! Woman: Lets go to your place ;) Moral: This works, the anti-part is that no one will believe me nor try it themselves... Incredible how the easiest way is the least used...

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-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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Are you an erection? 'Cause you're growing on me.

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"You'll do."

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You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

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A: Did I see you walking out of that bar or was it an angel? :D B: I'm your mom you pervert.

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NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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