you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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Sorry, I don't wanna date a guy who's best pickup line is cocaine.

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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For you thinking what is that shit below this comment? Go fuck yourself, for those that wonder why I typed that excellence, well read whatever... So why am I here once a year and type a lot of insanity here? Because I am quitting smoking... AGAIN. So after banging two chicks (one my wife STEAKSAUCE!) I just want a smoke right? RIGHT? To chill the adrenaline... My wife does not smoke (well if you can smoke cock then she is still the best smoker in town) Seriously, Tina has Prince... That explains her breath ugh... I am gonna get one anyways for great justice.

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What's your sign? Slippery when wet.

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If you were a booger i would pick you Good thing you have no hands

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You allergic to semen?

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Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

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Hey babe wats ur sign Caution men at work

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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hey Herpes Go Away!

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Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause you d*** sure look like a demon!

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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there is a 50% chance that we make s** tonight from my side i agree

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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(Based on a few real life experiences) Man: Hey girl wanna hang out an.. Girl: OMG IMMA ORGASMIN YES I COME WIT YOU AND WE HAVE WILD SAX IN MAH DERTY PUSSY AND THEN YOU LIKK MY ASS GOOD AND CLEEN! Man: Uh... I think I left my wallet im my pocket... which I think is in my fridge.. at home... gotta go before the house burns down you know... "runs off"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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