Guy: Is it hot in here or did i just break the ice? Girl: No, it was your weight.

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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Sugar-free sugar cookies

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Welcome to DIE!

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

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Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

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Your skin would make a nice coat.

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Nice legs what time do they open

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Guy: Hey would you like to dance? Girl: No! Guy: Oh come on! Don't be picky. I wasn't!

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I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

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Man: What did you say this horrible machine did look like? Woman: It was terrible it was like a man sized yellow and red robot that shoot lasers! After I refused its offer to come home with him he shoot lasers and destroyed my house... buah ;( ;( Man: That is terrible! Despicable! We have to do something about this! Such a beautiful supermodel should never go trough such a terrible atrocity! Woman: Buah... sigh... sniff... I know... but it was terrible! Man: so so my lady... you can come live with me in my giant mansion and we can have a couple of drinks to calm your nerves and relax... ;) Woman: Thank you Mr.Stark... Man: Oh Just call me Iron Ma... I mean Tony!

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Hello my name is Pogo. Would you like to jump on my stick?

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Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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Hey chicks! I am a very experienced suicide bomber, I was even in the plane that blew up the world trade center A ;) ¨ Moral: This must be the worst pickupline ever for oh so many reasons on so many levels...

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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You are the personification of beauty. ,..Wanna Shag?

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the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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wow youre really pretty... just kidding youre fat

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down

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all in all it was a good orgy

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!