Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Yeah sure, ill just go grab my gag and handcuffs. Male: ...

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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Five dollar women... WOO!

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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Hey! Doesn't this rag smell of chloroform?

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

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You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

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The invention that gets me around 20 red thumbs averge. Moral: <<<<< Thiz. Its better tto be infamous, than forgotten.

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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Boy: I want to get into your pants. Girl: No way! I already have an ass in there!

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M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

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You have a laugh like my favorite porn star.

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

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Pointless truth? Man: Hey, there is always a really slutty dressed woman at every bar with a cowboy hat, fake tits and really spread legs, why? Woman: To get ignored. Moral: SUUUUUUUUUUUUURE!

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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What's the difference between a duck? An orange

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"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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-How did you get to be so beautiful? -I must’ve been given your share.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!