whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

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-Do you like me? -No

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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Him - Would you like to dance? Her - NO! Him - I'm sorry. I think you misunderstood me. I said, "You look fat in those pants."

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-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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- hey baby i wanna show you something - wait i wanna show you something too -what is it? -my fists

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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M: If life had Alt + F4, I would close your clothes. F: Really? I would close YOU down!

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WHEN I ACTUALLY DIE SOME PEOPLE ARE GOING TO GET REALLY HAUNTED. Originally Posted at: Collection of Funny WhatsApp Status

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U' and 'I' together. - No, it's okay. 'N' and 'O' are already together.

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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I have no gag reflex.

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I like your shirt, it would look better in my pants

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- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!