Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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Why didn't the boy make the soccer team? He missed the tryouts

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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GET INTO DA CHOPPAH! Moral: IM LIEUTENANT JOHN KIMBLE! I HAVE A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS YOU HAVE TO ANSWER IMMEDIATELY! Whoos your daddy? YOU STAP IT! YOU IDIEOUT!

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On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

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Hey baby, do you play soccer? Because I think I'm gonna score tonight. ... Well, you can't score if the player ain't no good.

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Do you live around here often?

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Is that a banana in your pants? Can I have yours?

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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I hate you already.

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Welcome to DIE!

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I'll eat your poop

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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Guy: Hey babe, do you have a GPS... I'm lost in your eyes. Girl: Make a U-Turn

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Did it hurt when you fell from the whore tree and banged every single guy on your way down?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Blob fish are ugly and so are you.

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You got some junk in the trunk, can I dump my load in there too?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!