Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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You smell just like my mom...

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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A man walks up to the woman, and says, "I'd like to take you on a date. How about dinner tonight?" The woman agrees, and they both have a wonderful time at a fancy Italian restaurant.

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-Good afternoon miss, would you care to try our new line of perfume? -Sure what's it called? -Chloroform...

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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-Your eyes are as blue as toilet water

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Man: You got such beautiful eyes... they are so round and sensual, so full of life and bouncy and... Woman: Those are not my eyes! Man: TITS! I meant TITS! Damn I thought I had screwed up my chance to pound you`re ass for a second there... PHEW!

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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