Male: Did it hurt??? Female: What, when I fell from heaven? Male: No, the first time you did anal!!!

Man enters bar: Man: I AM MORAL MAN! My spear shall cut down the zealots, and my shield shall block (yeah you wish) be used as a additional weapon to push people down so I can thrust my spear even deeper into their hatred filled hearts! Woman: WOW! Moral: This pickup line wont work of course... not for you you aren`t the one and only EPIC: MORAL MAN! ;) Aka Epic man to those that still fail to understand that my morals are morals for a new order! No more religious wars, no more pedophiles, no more hatecrime... stand by me, and I shall not only speak for you, but also fight for you!

Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

-Excuse me do you know how much a polar bear weighs? -Enough to break the ice? -Ummm... yea... *silence*

2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

Does it smell in here or it just you?

"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

I lost my phone number, can I have yours?

Hey girl, I heard you are a lesbian! So which part of lesbia are you from? Moral: Geography is overrated, he got laid.

me- hey baby wanna hve sexual intercourse girl- sure because using the word intercourse in a sentence tunrs me on.

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

I'm an Ice Bear, I guess i just broke the "ICE" between us ....

Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

Wanna go back to my place and watch some CarVideos?

Husband: I will always get breakfast and newspapers in bed AT 5:30 baby, but not wake me when you wake up at 4:30

Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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