Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

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Tonight might be a convienient night for us to have some intercourse.

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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What's worse than walking on a beach? Not walking on a beach.

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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Do you live around here often?

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Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im a serial killer So GTFO before i kill you

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

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M. Do you want to go out with me? F. Okay but first take me to your place where we can be alone to make furious love to one another M. Wow this never happens I must be.. (Wakes up) dreaming

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Hi I'm Shaniqua.

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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If you were a booger i'd pick you first. -that, is fucking disgusting.

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Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

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Man: Did it hurt when you fell out of heaven? Woman: Did it hurt when they kicked-- *sound of gun clicking* Woman: Thanks!

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Boy:do you know to spell "Idiot" with just one word? Girl:how? Boy:U

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if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!