- Does this rag smell like ether? - MMMPPPHHRPHRRG!

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To my story below, I now remember why she never took me seriously... While I was staring at her erect nipples she asked me if I was gay, I replied "uhuh", to everything as I was too busy looking at what I could have grabbed that day... Moral: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Today she looks uh... less appealing in more ways than one.... but lets not go into details, I need to get something out here... FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! In 40 years at my deathbed: The only thing I regret is... is... DAMN! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

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Man: HELP! HELP! MY PENIS IS GONE! SOMEONE HELP ME FIND IT! Woman: OMG I am a nurse, we must find it before its too late! Where did you last see it? Man: It... it was around inside my pants somewhere... It should not be too hard to find it... cuz its pretty big...

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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Do u remember me from middle school? I could never forget you

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- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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Guy: Can I have your number ? Girl: We are six.

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Dont people ever get tired of PRETENDING like they dont need others aproval? I NEED APPROVAL I NEED APPROVAL! Moral: I REALLY DO! YEEEEEEEEES BECAUSE...Uh...you matter more than me? Nah, nothing like that, only I matter more than you...

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You allergic to semen?

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Him: What's it like in Hell? Her: Why are you asking me that? Him: Because you're the devil and I know where the f*ck you came from; I can see you're horny.

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Nielsen: Nice beaver! Woman: Thanks! Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice p*ssy Woman: Ah! Thank you! (cat meows) Nielsen: No I mean you have a nice wet vagina. Woman: Is this in the script? Director: CUT! Nielsen: What? Cant a man improvise? I mean OJ does it, and he is quite the nice fella... Moral: "Quite the nice fella" Yeah reminds me of good old dad, nice to everyone, and could take a lot of shit, but as much as I asked him how he was doing, I got an uppercut to the face and a nice trip in a ambulance... Started when I was 4, I crushed his upper Jaw in self defense when I was 16... ah... hmm... Why am I sharing this? Then again why not... When have I not spoken my mind.

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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Do you why I know we're going to have sex tonight?

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If I asked you out on a date, would your answer to that question be the same as your answer to this question?

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

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Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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I am sick of pretty girls, I want something sick smelly disgusting, fat or anorexic, with a personality that kills flowers and that makes me vomit... I guess you will have to do for now. :( Moral: At least she was not the perfect match huh? Always look at the bright side of eternal darkness.

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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