who wants to play EPAR

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If you're still here when I get drunk, this is your lucky night.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

thumb_up thumb_down +117

Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

thumb_up thumb_down -35

-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

thumb_up thumb_down -50

I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +301

- I'd go to the end of the world for you - Good,Stay There

thumb_up thumb_down +14

I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

thumb_up thumb_down +1

- Your body is like a temple. - Sorry, there are no services today.

thumb_up thumb_down +247

Boy- Didi it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl-Not until i saw you.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

(in a bar) Guy: Know how to play any instruments? Girl: No...but I wanna learn. Can you teach me? Guy:Sure..ever heard of the skin flute? Girl: (unaware) No. Can you teach me to play it? Guy: Sure, I can. :) (The girl leaves with the guy as he looks over his shoulder and winks with the thought of getting laid)

thumb_up thumb_down -79

Do you wanna go halves in a bastard?

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Soon

thumb_up thumb_down -73

I have a really big..... Bank Account

thumb_up thumb_down +102

Man: If I were to rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together Woman: So, all you want to do is make MANJUICE? you disgust me...

thumb_up thumb_down -77

if I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd put my dick in your ass

thumb_up thumb_down -53

have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

thumb_up thumb_down -98

If i don't have sex in 30 seconds i'll have to kiss you

thumb_up thumb_down -182

-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

thumb_up thumb_down +58

Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

thumb_up thumb_down -105

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!