- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

Moral: Hey, how you doing? ;) Woman: Moral? Are you that guy that signs all his posts on horsecrapz network and adds miscellaneous notes? Moral: Yep that's me ;) Woman: OMG LIKE EWWW! Id never do you! Moral: Uh, when did even make such a suggestion? Moral:Well I am married...

Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

-Hey babe, if you were homework, I'd do you on my couch, my table, and my bed. -Yeah? You just failed.

Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

Boy: Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven? Girl: Did it hurt when you were thrust through the ash-filled layers of Hell?

Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

Men. We must always hold the door open, Pull the chairs out and pay for our women whilst remembering to treat them as equals.

Excuse me, is the red bike outside yours? Because it is parking illegally, I'll have to take your details so I can report you to the authorities...

-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

hey,are you a parking ticket? because nobody likes you.

That outfit looks fantastic on you... ..it would look even better in an evidence bag

You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

Roses are red Violets are fine You be the 6 And I'll be the 9

hey, your cute. hey, your not.

Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book