wanna try out my joystick? (gamer-joke)

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Ugly begins with U. But awesome ends with ME.

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Guy: Hey, I think you're really sweet... Girl: Aww, thanks Guy: Is that why you're so fat?

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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Im like a thief and ill steal your virginity!

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Want to go out? No

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put 'U' and 'I' together. -If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would take 'U' out entirely.

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-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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hey angel you duh sexy , if you duh rice i eat you everyday-pha haha

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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Im gonna rape you..

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Boy: So...Um...How's life? Girl: Great, until you came along.

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Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!