At a drinking place :P: Man: You dare mock the great Sh... Woman: I am sorry I did not mean to humiliate that much... ehehehehe you are just a stupid jlttle nerd and all... :) Man: You will die moral... Woman: What?! Uh... did I mention how awesome you are? What was your name again? Man: You weak pathetic fool! 8 hours later: Woman: Please! Let me stay! Just for a little longer! Barman: Sigh... fine have a drink on the house. Woman: *sips drink and dies* Barman: Mission complete sir, she died instantly! Man: Instantly without pain? THAT WAS PATHETIC! Now... SUICIDE! Barman: No I refuse! Man: Drink it... or face the true WRATH OF SHAO KAHN! Barman: The true wrath? ANYTHING BUT THAT!*Punches himself in the balls hoping he dies from the pain, passes out and tries again* Man Is That your best? That was pathetic! Its official, you suck! Bhahahahahahaha! Moral: Fear the Wrath of Shao Kahn!

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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Did it hurt? When you fell from the hoe tree and banged every dick on the way down?

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-- Hey, can I have your number? -- 12

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Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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Does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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At a bar (for originality`s sake :P) Man: Hello would you want to come home with me and uckucukucekcuah cough... AAAAAARRrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh (dies of heart attack) Woman: Wow that was an original line, ok ill come home with you... err... hello... uh... is everything okay? Moral: Despite this "joke" death is rarely a good pickup line.

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-Your really nice plus i like girls with flat asses

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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Hey, do you want to dance? No.

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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I love every bone in your body, especially mine.

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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Your parents must be assholes...because you're the shit.

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Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

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Are you from Tennessee? Because your accent sounds stupid.

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hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

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your almost as hot as my wife

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!