the roses were red and the violets were nice but if you want to get with me you better up the price

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id violate your ass hole.

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I am typing it here for exposure which means I am no sellout because I admitt I sell out, just like I did not crash because I admitt I did. This one is real: Me meeting my childhood friend (a girl, with huge boobs... Which she had reduced because back problems... Fucking reduction pointless invention!) Tina: You where and will always be like a brother to me Nero. Me: Aww... Well... Tina: A fucking sexy brother back then... Well and now! Me: O_O. I am married, so I called my wife and asked if its okay, she said can I join? And well, why do you think I am so wired now... ROUND TWO... F*CK!

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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Women love it when you kiss their neck. Just not while they are driving and while you're in the back seat and when they don't know you...

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Whats best about having sex with twenty six year olds?..... Theres twenty of them!

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Woman: The church is fantastic, I see Jesus wherever I go! Me: I see a psycho wherever you go. Moral: PSYCHO CRUSHER!

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why cant you comb your hair cuz you got cancer othere guy :ahahahaah fag

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jack sanders

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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Man: Hello there my name is... Woman: I wish you where water... Man: So you can swallow me? Hey not so fast baby! I dont like em fast. Woman: You did not let me finish! Man: Whatever, gotta go... Moral: Girls... women... you may be mysterious, but unlocking your secrets is my favorite pastime... I CHARRENGE YOU!... Then again I never liked women throwing themselves at me without me saying a word (not that it happens very often)¨ Ps: I see some other people have started to add "morals" to their stories, without success sadly, keep going kids, and people will always of course know who the real "Moral man is" because of the cheap nature of my fantastically silly and "dragged out of the ass" nature of my morals...

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-Can I get your Number? -29435566 (see if you can get it.)

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whats up ho

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Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

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Male: Hey baby you wanna play telephone, i got the string and you got the cans! Female: ...

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violets are blue roses are red you have a mouth start giving me head

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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-Hey, I lost my number. Can I have yours? -No.

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You're a bit heavier but i think I can fit you in a barrel.

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I can tell you are single. How? Because you're ugly

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roses are red violets are blue i have a knife get in the van

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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