Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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guy: you're so beautiful, did you fall from heaven? girl: if I was I would be dead by now hun?

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For you that think your family are too overprotective when it comes to sex, this was my story as a teenager. Mom: Hi guys! Me and ladyfriend: Hi mom! This is my ladyfriend: (insert your name if you are female) Dad: Woho! Good catch son! *claps me on shoulder* Mom: Dont worry, you guys just go right up and "study" eh ;) eh ;) and we are gonna put the music REALLY LOUD down here! And there is no need to be ashamed of stains nor anything. Dad: No we understand ;) ;) ;) Girl: Uh... you invited me just to study right? Me: Believe it or not I did... Dad: Yeah you two young ones go study! Remember condom though! ;) Girl: Axel! WTF?! *leaves* Me: Mom.. Dad! WTF!? I dont know anything about algebra (not even to this day, and I am almost 30) Dad: Algebra eh? ;) Next time give her a good "algebra". Me: Mom tell that moron tha... Mom: Relax son, I understand that you boys have desires and the next time you take her with you, you dont need to be ashamed or come up with excuse.. Me: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Moral: To believe I learned most my ways by having ladyfriends... despite my parents... Mom and Dad overprotective? Good... trust me!

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Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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Man: Hey sweetie, can I take you home tonight? Girl: No thanks, my dad's gonna be here any minute.

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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Man- According to my magic watch you're not wearing any underwear. Woman- Yes, I am! Man- Damn! I guess my watch is 15 minutes fast.

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Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: Breaking through the earth's crust ascending from hell.

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I have been known to give women the best fake orgasms ever ;)

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- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock? -That depends on the size of the rock. -You don't really get it, do you? -Get what?

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Did It Hurt when you fell from heaven? No, because I was already dead.

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

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Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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