Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

Male: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Female: did it hurt when they kicked you out of hell?

- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

A modified classic, props to the original poster: Man: Ask me out! Woman: Ok, get out! Man: No no, I said ASK me out. Woman: Okay... will you please get out? Man: No but thanks for asking me out, I am so gonna tell your friends how I rejected you asking me out. Moral: When beaten... THERE IS NO BEATING! If negative people can turn everything into a loss, thinking positive call help you turn anything into victory. I mean Hitler murdered millions right? Arent you happy (Jew or not), that it was not you? VICTORY! (if somehow Pyrrhic depending on how you turn on it... But if you wanna turn a gain to a pain, go ahead...)

have met you before? i like eating my dogs shit.

Woman enters a...uh Cafe that only sells alcohol and stuff... now that is variation from the usual bar eh? Woman: Yo bitchy hot stuff, you look cheap get over here! lets bang! Man: How dare you! Woman: Why? You dont wanna try my wiener? Man: "throws drink at woman", Im gonna tell my girlfriend! Woman: I start getting the feeling something is very wrong here man... Man: Humpf! Just wait to my girlfriend gets here and beats you u... wait I to think there is something very very wrong here. Moral: The world may never know...

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

Where have you been all my life?! Said the 78 year old alzheimers patient to his teary eyed wife of 50 years.

Hitler: Hey Mädchen, du bist Jude? Girl: What? Hitler: Ärmel hochkrempeln, ich brauche deine Nummer.

And then it hit me.....no really now I'm bleeding

Wow...you don't sweat much for a fat girl.

Stop Footing Around

Are your prices by the hour

good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

Guy: hey, we have been friends for a long time but I really need to tell you something Girl: omg I love you too :D Guy: what, no no. I'm a zoophilic

Losers pick-up sex guide. 1. Create a beautiful environment at home, with candles, romantic music, etc. 2. Buy lube, some sexy female underwear, a couple of sex toys, some erotic magazines to excite you`re partner. 3. Pick-up you`re stuff and masturbate.

Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

Hey can I have your number? No.

Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

SEE WHAT’S UP, DOWN UNDER.

MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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