Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

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My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door. Later, a cop comes in for a haircut, and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The cop was happy and left the shop. The next morning when the barber went to open up, there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen doughnuts waiting for him at his door. Then a Member of Parliament came in for a haircut, and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied, 'I cannot accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.' The Member of Parliament was very happy and left the shop. The next morning, when the barber went to open up, there were a dozen Members of Parliament lined up waiting for a free haircut. And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

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You allergic to semen?

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Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Hello children! :D

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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I told my wife I met someone who looked just like her she asked Was she gorgeous I didn't know what to say.

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Aww seriously dude? That would be awesome, gotta warn you though, this car repair dude, is really ripping my shirt off but you know, ill send you the bill. 666 (my phone is on the charger, get me a new one and ill write a fucking essay about my sisters ass and post it here I really need a phone)

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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Man: Honey, I can't choose between watching golf or porn? Wife: Porn. You already know how to golf.

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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