- Anti-Pickup Line

why did the boy laugh? A:he saw another boy get raped by a giant scorpian

I don't have a library card but do you mind if I check you out?

Him: Did it hurt? Her: What? Him: When you fell out of the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down?

haha

Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

I put the STD in STuD all i need is U!

Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

Yeah you got me there dude, you really got my bragging rights... I am here with some "just" (nothing special) friend of my wife, that is wearing me out as she wont get off my Swagger, but while mentioning it like this makes me just as depraved as her... Gotta say, woman pleading me to get jumping on my cock, while my wife makes us breakfast... ...Im done being the king, im a fucking God. Anyway, "Eriksen" (you know who I mean) is pissed at me because I was supposed to be at work, and he apparently spends time here looking for me when he knows I am getting down and... Man this woman needs the cock... I mean at this rate she will bang me to death... ...But what a way to go. But seriously, would I really be at work, and allow you to come get my/now your car from garage whose walls are so paper thin that the police and securitas would be on your ass if I was not at least nearby? (well securitas are lazy, but as a lawyer, I benefit from suing them... Again) There are like eight alarms there, and you so gangsta you would get jailed. UPDATE: Punches, not slaps, remember the guy who punched that sweet chick when he got drunk, and then you punched me down and I got up and broke your jaw? Yeah that shit stings still, Five punches, at any time (no haymakers hey, I know my haymakers/uppercuts) but you take five punches... The fuck am I talking to, whigs is here already... Moral: I wont just write this shit just to make it all disappear with a delete button, fuck, im a super sayan!

Are you an angel? ... cause I have an erection!

Man: HEY BITCH! LETS HAVE SEX! Damn ugly woman: OKAY! Next day... Man: Damn that was some nice sex, too bad the bitch was damn ugly though, even trough the beer googles... I wonder where she is... "damn ugly woman": woof woof! Bark bark! Moral: Do you see any moral in this immoral piece of shit? (Ps if you are stupid, the bitch was actually a dog... get it?)

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put "your sister" and "I" together.

You like my boobies ;) Girl: I said no you disgusting fat bastard! Moral: What fucking kind of MOTHERFUCKING MORAL are you expecting to find here?!?

Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd like to tap that ass.

guy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together Girl: Its a good thing N and O are already together

SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda. WANDA: Hi! Sylvia. How'd you die? SYLVIA: I froze to death. WANDA: How horrible! SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death. What about you? WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I suspected that my husband was cheating, so I came home early to catch him in the act. But instead, I found him all by himself in the den watching TV. SYLVIA: So, what happened? WANDA: I was so sure there was another woman there somewhere that I started running all over the house looking. I ran up into the attic and searched, and down into the basement. Then I went through every closet and checked under all the beds. I kept this up until I had looked everywhere, and finally I became so exhausted that I just keeled over with a heart attack and died. SYLVIA: Too bad you didn't look in the freezer ---we'd both still be alive....?

Drunk guy with high standards part 3: Man: Dunno woman... you are so big and... and... FAT and really huge and stuff but... well... uh.. you are still really damn hot so lets do it! Man: YAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! Astronauts: Did that guy really eject himself towards the sun? Moral: At least he was right about the really hot part... and that ladies and gentlemen, is the terrible end of the amazing drunk man with high standards, you can read the whole series just by clicking onwards trough my comments and give em a thumbs ups just as you go along.. otherwise they will show up... mean they wo..

Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

he got me some KY jelly for valentines day saying it was going to make me the happiest woman in the world he was right one squirt of that stuff on my doorknob and he couldn't get in no matter how hard he tried

I have a twin bed...we should have a threesome;)))

"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

-My girlfriend and I want different things out of our relationship. -She wants marriage, children and a house. -I just want out.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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