- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence

Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

Man: I am willing to give my life for you. Woman: How about you fucking get one instead and rather seek me out then? Moral: M-M-M-Morale breaker!

He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

Boy- is that a mirror in your pants? Girl-? Boy-because i see my self in your pants Girl-oh this, this is a picture of crap!

What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

Couple in bed: Woman: I want some variation... you into roleplay? Man: Sure! Woman: Ok, Ill be a hot housemaid... Man: OK but they have little mana so... ill be a firemage! Woman: Huh? Man: SHHHH! its not your time to attack yet! Moral: Geeks...

A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

It's not Rape* If you yell surprise.

Boy : Gurle: hi

Are you a magnet, because i'm attracted to you. Yes, i am. So unless you want to have sex with metal, then i suggest you leave.

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

When you get her to your place I'm just going to be honest. I've been on the FBI's most wanted list for quite some time now.

"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

-Good thing I brought my library card, 'cause I'm checking you out! -What a shame, it's expired.

Man - I hope you know CPR, because you take my breath away. Woman - Good cus' your breath stinks!

Tenth year anniversary Marriage. So what was your name again? Annoying Bitch? Old Hag? I forgot...

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: *Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence*