-Do you come here often? -I'm about to.

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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In a classy bar: KEEP IT CLASSY! Man: Hello there dear... your eyes sparkle like the sun itself... Woman: Oh... thank you random stranger, that is the most beautiful thing someone have ever said to me :D Man: Really? But you are gorgeous (the two proceed to have a long CLASSY conversation and laughing in a classy reserved matter and drinking classy champagne and whatever... and then: Man: Ahahaha yes that is indeed true... By the way... would you mind becoming the single lonely mother of my children? Moral: skipped most of school classes... class ... overrated...

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- What's a shabby girl like you doing in a lovely place like this?

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I have a knife and a penis. Choose which one goes in you.

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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rohypnol. rape drug

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Hello my name is Horny and... oops... I got it wrong didn't I?

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

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Guy: wow! Why are you naked and on top of me? Girl: What are you talking about! We are at a bar! Guy: Oh sorry I am a psychic and keep getting flashes of the near future...

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Guy: Can we go on a date? Girl: A date? You couldn't find a date if I handed you a bag of fruit!

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M - wanna have some fun? F - No! M - 0k, i have no choice but to rape you!

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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So which of you ladies wants to recieve child support payments from me next year?

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Man: Hello there my name is... Woman: I wish you where water... Man: So you can swallow me? Hey not so fast baby! I dont like em fast. Woman: You did not let me finish! Man: Whatever, gotta go... Moral: Girls... women... you may be mysterious, but unlocking your secrets is my favorite pastime... I CHARRENGE YOU!... Then again I never liked women throwing themselves at me without me saying a word (not that it happens very often)¨ Ps: I see some other people have started to add "morals" to their stories, without success sadly, keep going kids, and people will always of course know who the real "Moral man is" because of the cheap nature of my fantastically silly and "dragged out of the ass" nature of my morals...

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!