So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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girl - leave! boy - no girl - leave now! boy - i cant girl - why boy - i broke my foot girl - oh

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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Boy- Did it hurt when you fell- Girl- From heaven?!? AWWW <3 Boy- No the whore tree when you banged every guy on the way down.

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Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Want to go out? No

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My friends just bet me 50 dollars that I couldn't pick you up if I came over and spoke with you, would you like a few free drinks on their money?

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Man:Hey, do you know what chloroform smells like? Woman:No. Man:Well, you're about to find out.

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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do you like cows? no! i am a cow! oh!

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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Hey, girl. Looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need is U

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Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

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Wanna have sex?

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Male: Hey do you wanna come back to my place? Female: Sorry i only sleep with dead bodies.

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you know what rhymes with hug me LET'S HAVE SEX

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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Do your parents have Down Syndrome? Because your really special.

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How you doin? go away- I have a gun

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Classic story time: Shit that happens out there. Girl: Omg that guy called you a douche! Go punch him! Or else my respect for you is gone. Man: Hey, you called me a douche right? Well... FALCOWN PAWNCH! Girl: Omg you are so violent, my respect for you is gone. Moral: Really, I am speechless... Its a lose/lose situation.

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He - Hey Dreamboat! She - *turns around He - No you, shipwreck

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!