-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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Me: You know what bitch... You are *burp* such a bitch... That I am just gonna smear peanut butter on my crotch and... Lady: Dude, I am a man but okay! Me: You are a guy? Did you have to tell me that? I mean I got beer googles but I hear perfectly well! Then his girlfriend which happened to be my cousin showed up and... *facepalm*

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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Hey wanna hear about some pointless superpowers? ;)

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Boy: can i have your number? Jewish girl *pulls up sleeve*

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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EVERYONE ELSE

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ur so hot, i'd let u put ur vagina inside of me

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

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You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

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Babe your dad is an terorist because your a real bomb !!!

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Man: Wanna go to my home and have sex? Woman: Well... OK! Man: Wow you are easy!... wait! Where are you going? COME BACK! Moral: They are not easy, they just like a man with balls... and you where obviously not one of them... LAME OVER.

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Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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hi how u doin fine and u well bii have a nice day DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

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- Did it hurt, when you fell from heaven? - Nah, angels like me, have wings.

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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Penis. I got it

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Are you from Tennessee? Because we are both in Tennessee and I thought asking where you grew up would be a good way to get to know you better.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!