Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

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Hey :) Hi Do you like me? :) No :'( You never asked if i loved you... Awhhhh do you love me :) No

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

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Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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Male: I'm all you've got good lookin' Female: then I must not have alot

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He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

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The ability to speak with dead relatives but only whilst masturbating

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guy: hey do you know how to sly a dragon? girl:No. guy: well your no help.

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

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WOW MY LONGEST EVER COMMENT BELOW GOT A THUMBS UPS WOOT-WO-WO-WOROWOOOT *Partyravelights that confetti crap and... Moral: I dont really give a shit and all...

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*is your name angel cuz that's all i see? *is your name asshole cuz that's all i see

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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Guy: Happy Birthday Girl: Huh? Guy: You're gonna get raped

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a gun, Get in the car.

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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Can I have your number? -I don't have one.

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nice kid... want another?

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Woman enters gynecologist office: Man: YO I am the vaginator! Woman: Vaginator? Man: You know, the guy that is gonna fu.. I mean study your pussy with the long hard spear and see if your juices are okay and stuff... Woman: HuuuuuuuH? Moral: Writing this makes me understand why some women dont exactly enjoy a trip to the "Vaginator" so I forgot the moral and the point... my sympaties though...

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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-How much does a polar bear weigh? -It is impossible to know the exact weight of a polar bear where no scale or bear are present.

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Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!