-Hey comon baby dont be shy give me a little BlowJob -sorry im alergic to peanuts....

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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- OMG, OMG, OMG, Terry finally said he will go out with me! -OMG, When? -February 30th! -Stacey, There is no February 30th.

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Guy: Hey babe, does the carpet match the drapes? Girl: How do you feel about hardwood?

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Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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Hey, you're cute... lets bang.

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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Man: Oh.. girl you smell so nice... Girl: TRY ANOTHER LINE AND STOP LOOKING AT MY TlTS LOSER! Man: Uh... I am blind... Girl: Um...

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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A modified classic, props to the original poster: Man: Ask me out! Woman: Ok, get out! Man: No no, I said ASK me out. Woman: Okay... will you please get out? Man: No but thanks for asking me out, I am so gonna tell your friends how I rejected you asking me out. Moral: When beaten... THERE IS NO BEATING! If negative people can turn everything into a loss, thinking positive call help you turn anything into victory. I mean Hitler murdered millions right? Arent you happy (Jew or not), that it was not you? VICTORY! (if somehow Pyrrhic depending on how you turn on it... But if you wanna turn a gain to a pain, go ahead...)

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Are your prices by the hour

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Is there a mirror in your pocket?... Because if so, you should probably take it out and, uh, fix what you have going on there.

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He: If i were a carpenter i would nail you She: If i were a hammer i would hit you

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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-If I could rearrange the alphabet... that would be nice..

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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