A man is pulled over by a police officer and a conversation takes place: Man: What's the problem officer? Cop: You were going at least 75 in a 55 zone. Man: No sir, I was going 65. Wife: Oh Steven. You were going 80. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a ticket for your broken tail light. Man: Broken tail light? I didn't know about a broken tail light! Wife: Oh Steven, you've known about that tail light for weeks. (Man gives his wife a dirty look.) Cop: I'm also going to give you a citation for not wearing your seat belt. Man: Oh, I just took it off when you were walking up to the car. Wife: Oh Steven, you never wear your seat belt. Man: Shut your mouth, woman! Cop: Ma'am, does your husband always talk to you this way? Wife: No, only when he's drunk.

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"How'd you get the black eye?" "I called Yolanda a two-bit whore." "What did she hit you with?" "A sack of quarters."

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Guy: Hey want to hear a joke about my penis? No wait it's too long Girl: Hey want to hear a joke about my vagina? No wait you won't get it.

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Boy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Boy: When a tractor fell on your face?

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Yo mama so stupid she traded her shoes for a pair of socks!

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If i'd ask you if you want to f*ck me, would your answer be the same as to this question?

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Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

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Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

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Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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You look like I could use a drink - SMC Digital

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you first.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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MAN: You wanna know what's beautiful? Read the first word again. WOMAN: You wanna know what's desperate? Read the first word again!

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

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Did it hurt when you fell from heaven and banged every guy on the way down?

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Are u in the army cause u make my private stand at attention.

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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Roses are red, Violets are Blue, Dont talk to me, and I wont talk to you.

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-Is that a sonic screwdriver in your pocket or are you just happy to see me? -Do I look like a Time Lord? (Only Doctor Who fans will get that.)

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Do you live around here often?

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-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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