- Anti-Pickup Line

(Based on a few real life experiences) Man: Hey girl wanna hang out an.. Girl: OMG IMMA ORGASMIN YES I COME WIT YOU AND WE HAVE WILD SAX IN MAH DERTY PUSSY AND THEN YOU LIKK MY ASS GOOD AND CLEEN! Man: Uh... I think I left my wallet im my pocket... which I think is in my fridge.. at home... gotta go before the house burns down you know... "runs off"

On your mark, get set, suck my dick.

I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

Yeah you got me there dude, you really got my bragging rights... I am here with some "just" (nothing special) friend of my wife, that is wearing me out as she wont get off my Swagger, but while mentioning it like this makes me just as depraved as her... Gotta say, woman pleading me to get jumping on my cock, while my wife makes us breakfast... ...Im done being the king, im a fucking God. Anyway, "Eriksen" (you know who I mean) is pissed at me because I was supposed to be at work, and he apparently spends time here looking for me when he knows I am getting down and... Man this woman needs the cock... I mean at this rate she will bang me to death... ...But what a way to go. But seriously, would I really be at work, and allow you to come get my/now your car from garage whose walls are so paper thin that the police and securitas would be on your ass if I was not at least nearby? (well securitas are lazy, but as a lawyer, I benefit from suing them... Again) There are like eight alarms there, and you so gangsta you would get jailed. UPDATE: Punches, not slaps, remember the guy who punched that sweet chick when he got drunk, and then you punched me down and I got up and broke your jaw? Yeah that shit stings still, Five punches, at any time (no haymakers hey, I know my haymakers/uppercuts) but you take five punches... The fuck am I talking to, whigs is here already... Moral: I wont just write this shit just to make it all disappear with a delete button, fuck, im a super sayan!

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

M- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? W- I'm an atheist.

Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

Handsome rich looking man: I would like to take you somewhere nice, maybe watch a movie at the cinema, then we could go to my place and have a romantic dinner.. finally... Girl: YES YES! Man: as I was saying... Finally I can make sweet love with your dog...if its fine by you... Girl: wtf?

Guy: Hey baby, did you come by car? Girl: No I walked. Guy: Well I can make you come in mine.

Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

Hey babe, take a walk on the wild side. (;

Ma'am, I'm sorry I'd like to ask a favour. Yes? Well, my penis died and I was wondering if I could bury it in your vagina?

- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

-Hi how are y... -just a minute, I need to drop a shit, be back in a sec.

Akshay Kumar's 'Special Chabbis' is a mind-action film, says director

Man: Hey you female? Cuz I am a horny man and... door slams

If I could re-arrange the alphabet, I'd probably leave it as is, seems to be working OK just fine without my internvention. And imagine the work it'd create in terms of all the re-filing alone. Librarians would have apoplexy, and if I came out I was responsible..well, there'd be hell to pay. No, thank you, but no thank you, the alphabet can stay as it is, no matter how hot your body.

If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

One hot summer night in 1960, Steve had his first date with Susie. He went to pick her up and her mom answered the door. She invited him in, and asked him what they planned to do on their date. Steve replied that they’d probably see a movie then get a burger. Susie’s mom said, “Well, Susie really likes to screw.” Steve said, “Huh?” Her mom said, “Yes, she loves it. She could probably screw all night.” “Okay, thanks!” replied Steve, mentally rearranging his plans for the night. A few minutes later Susie came downstairs and they left on their date. About a half hour later Susie came running back in the house, her clothes disheveled, and yelled: “Mom, it’s called the TWIST! The name of the goddamn dance is the TWIST!”

girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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