Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Damn you look good in beer goggles.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

thumb_up thumb_down -85

Does this rag smell like chloroform?

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

thumb_up thumb_down +158

Give me some sugar... honey.

thumb_up thumb_down -84

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

thumb_up thumb_down +170

Man... MAN! Sorry if I just skimmed that last message dude, but if you getting me that shit, you are my fucking God, you got a new custom engine or something? Whatever man, im getting over there right now, Son, I might actually try the towing trick, because that might make me arrive at your place (no worries wont tell anyone where your playboy mansion is at) but you still got it there right? MORAL MORAL MORAL MORAL... Oh and no, id never ever use that piece of shit I used to call a car in the forest, if you are serious man, ill take the damn cab! I mean man, I just cant wait to tell the beardy little faggot at the carshop to stick that yeah "car" up his gay ass! Seriously dude, my phone aint working but that can wait, you really mean I can have the car? Seriously, how much? I got some money.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

thumb_up thumb_down +61

You're like a can of condensed milk. Short, thick, and sweet.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Excuse me, does this rag smell like Chloroform to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

thumb_up thumb_down -23

So when' the baby due?

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Boy: whats your name? Girl: i dont know, im just s fetus

thumb_up thumb_down -133

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Man: Hey is your name Zelda? Woman: Huh? What kind of stupid name is THAT! Man: EXCUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUSE ME PRINCESS! Woman: What a dork... Moral: The man did not link with the woman that night... nor ever it seems...

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Nice legs... what time do they open? Cos there is a pungent fish smell and I think you need to wash.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

thumb_up thumb_down -35

You have lovely eyes. They'll look better in a pile on my floor in the morning.

thumb_up thumb_down +112

Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Woman- is your penis erect? Male- no just FULL SIZED Woman- woah

thumb_up thumb_down +80

Superman enters a bar: Superman: Ladies... who wants to try out my newly developed "super orgasmi-power"? Women: Did you not die? Superman: Uh no... it was just a uh... healing coma... *All the women fall into a "healing coma* Superman: *scratches head* Well... I kinda asked for this... Moral:*Healing coma*

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!