- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

2 fake blondes hitting on me. blondes: we're twins! me: so where are you from? blonde1: canada! blonde2 (at the same time): finland!

Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

Excuse me, is your father a gardener? No. Why? Because he keeps leaving all his dry leaves on my sidewalk please tell him to clear it!

Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

If i could rearrange the alphabet, i would put U and G and L and Y together because that is what you are.

Have you met Ted?

Girl are your parents Mexican, cuz you look Mexican.

Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" crying "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

You must be tired because you've been running through my mind all day! ...I'm a paraplegic, asshole.

" Grab your coat love ...it's cold in my basement"

A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

Hey gorgeous what are you drinking? Cyanide.

Real life anti Joke mambo number five: Me: Hey wanna do it? Girl: I am a nun now remember? Me: Yeah but I always wanted to do it with a nun ;). Moral: She forgave me, nine years later :P

I dont have sex on the first date - only if the opportunity comes

-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

You must be a parking ticket. Because you are dressed like i'd have to pay.

roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book