- If you were a booger I'd pick you first - If you were a booger I'd throw you away...

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A couple wanted to try something different in the bedroom, The wife suggests they do it in a 69 position so they get into position but the wife lets one off in the husbands face she apologises and they try again when the wife farts again the husband gets up to leave and says no I don't think I can do this another 67 times!

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What happend to the blue duck that had purple and pink stars on it ? Nothing happend to the blue dick that had purple and pink stars on it Wait A second...

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Have you just been fishing? The strong fishy smell seems to be coming from you.

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knock knock. whos there. interupting cow. inter... mooo!

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-Want to get on your knees and suck my dick? -No thanks, I have enough Tic Tacs at home.

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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Ever kissed a bunny inbetween the ears? Nope. I'm allergic to them.

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-Roses are red, violets are... -SHOW ME YOUR TITS

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Im gonna rape you..

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Dont let this rape turn into a murder

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Man: Wow girl, you are so hot you remind me of my wife when she was young.. wanna come to my place for a quick one before she comes back? Girl: Sigh... this AGAIN? I told you! If you are gonna get that drunk, get out of our home and go to a bar daddy!

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Soon

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did you fall from heaven, cause i forgot my library card.

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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-Isnt this the bus to Vermont? -No, its an pineapple without a flute. -Are you a bus driver? -No, im an umbrella!

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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"Do you have a map? I'm getting lost in your eyes." "They always say that before they go to sleep."

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!