Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Woman: You've got the body of a god, too bad that it's Buddha... Man: You've got the face of a Princess, too bad that it's Diana.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

thumb_up thumb_down -63

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

thumb_up thumb_down +134

Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

The Non Moral method: "Hi I am the jack off all trades and master of none!" Moral: "Yo, I am the jack of no trades, and master of all!" So uh, Anti Pickuplines are pickup lines that do not work... Hmm, I think I get it... Hmm, no I don't...

thumb_up thumb_down -10

If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

thumb_up thumb_down -63

Guy: (any sexual pick up line) Girl: I'm sorry but I don't think there is enough room in my pants for two assholes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Hey girl, I just fixed your pipes, I got a pipe of my own that needs some fixing if you know what I mean ;) Moral: Pornography is a lie.

thumb_up thumb_down +111

-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're a fucking hillbilly.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

thumb_up thumb_down -137

BOY-i love you GIRL-(sneezes) sorry im allergic to bullshit

thumb_up thumb_down +146

(boy gives flowers to a girl) Girl: Are these for me? Boy: Nope, I just want you to hold them for me for a second..

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

I would take a bullet for you. In COD. JK THAT WOULD RUIN MY KILLSTREAKS

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Male: Baby, I am God's gift to this earth! Female: Well, if I take a receipt up to Heaven, can I exchange you for someone better?

thumb_up thumb_down -45

J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

thumb_up thumb_down +63

Your so hot my pants will explode if I don't take them off now...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Is there a mirror in your pants? If so, you should shove it up your ass, it would probably make you look better.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

-ILY -Aw. Spell it out it will make it more special. -I'm Leaving You

thumb_up thumb_down +114

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!