On line post: Woman: HELLO! I love you, I am from Russia and find you particularly handsome and rich I am certain you could take care of me and I will do anything for you ;) here are some nice pictures I have never met someone as fantastic as you please contact me! (revealing pictures.gif) additional information: This message has been sent to 100.000 other recipients. FAIL! Moral: And I had not even moved out from my parents home yet... rich enough my ass...

Male: Are you from Tennessee? Female: Why? Male: Cus you look like an inbred hick

M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

You belong in heaven. So make sure you say hi to God for me.

If i could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'I' and 'U' together. Really? Cos' I like it just the way it is... With 'N' and 'O' together.

Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

Dont blame me for using moral all the time its just part of my sig...nature XD Moral: Not a pick up line, so its pretty anti.

Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

Hello I am a violent rapist, oh wait I meant to say my name first and the other much later... Moral: its official you suck!

Were your parents chemists? cuz you look like TEST TUBE BABY :D

I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

-If you are looking at a girl and she says What are you looking at? -I thought you were good looking, but I was mistaken.

Monday went by and he didn't see her Tuesday was the same Wednesday came and the swelling had finally gone down for him to make his wife out

roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

Man: Lets have some fun ;) Woman: Sure! Man: Starts telling jokes. Woman: Funny but I thought... Man: What? Woman: Well its a bit uh... silly of me but I thought that we where getting at your place, having a drink and... Man: What? I said fun, not date rape! Woman: Wow... this is really getting nowhere is it? Author: Hell no! Moral: This "anti-pickup" was not even finished and you want a moral too? Pssssssssssssssssshhhhh....

He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

Do you want to dance No I suppose a blow job is out of the question then

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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