Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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-hey baby whats your sign? -no parking anytime

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Hi, since its our first "Set Time Date" , I want you know I haven't got any STD's

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Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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Good news: you'll never-ever-ever have a zit again. Bad news: because there's no more space for it to pop out.

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Did you fall from heaven? Cause the ground around you looks like it's cracked.

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Now this one is for the ladies: Girl: Hey there Alexa! Long time no see! Woman: Indeed dear, so... do you still do YOGA!? Girl: Nah I stopped after the YOGA FIRE! lessons and the YOGA TELEPORT! Lessons where too expensive... Woman: too bad! Can you still bend your legs behind your back though? ;) It looked so sexy... Girl: Oh well, as long as you can still do you YOGA STRETCH tongue you can come home with me and teach me a thing or two since I am just 19 and you are a 35 year old couger... if you know what I mean ;) Woman: Sure! I can teach you a lot of lusty immoral things ;). Conclusion: Girl: Not there... its hurts. Woman: Just relax girl, and it will work... Girl: YES OH YES!!! Moral: To show that my stories also support the ladies ;) Hey... its called the ANTIPICKUPLINE after all right?

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Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

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Whenever I look at stars I think of you... Because your only beatiful from a distance.

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do you clean your pants with windex cause i can see myself in them

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Man: So you will come home with me later? Girl: Sure! Man: Great then ill just go find more women I can bang later in the meantime... Moral: Depending of the kind of woman, this is of no consequence...

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

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Hey baby wanna come back to my place? Goo-goo ga-ga

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Pick up lines from the stoneage: Man: RARGH GROG BEAT YOU WITH CLUB! AND MAKE THE LITTLE GROGS WITH YOU! Woman: But I just had one! Aww not this again whatever... Moral: And over time women adjusted to clubs and often end up knocked up when passing out in them, While men that own their own clubs usually end up knocking up a lot more of them... Some things never change...

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i'm a doctor.... maybe i can fix that thing you call a face

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Man: Well... you seem female enough at least... wanna come home? Woman?: Uh... well... okay ;) But I am a man thought ;) Man: That is disgusting! I am so ashamed! Not Woman: Oh, well sorry :(.. Man: So... as I said you SEEM female enough so wanna come home? The other man: :D I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ASKED ME! ITS SO BEAUTIFUL... so well... NO! Man: This is not getting anywhere is it? Author. NO!

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Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

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Guy: I lost my phone number, Can I have yours? Girl: Your phone service would help you get a new one.

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Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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