Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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"Can I buy you a drink or do I have to have sex with you first?"

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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Shy-guy: Hey uh, girl, we have been on like 40 dates, what do you um... You know say we go to my place for once and have some drinks? Shy-girl: Eh, well su-sure I mean its been over forty dates, but ill just take coffee if its oka... Shy-guy: OMG YOU DAMN EASY SKANK! HOLY SHIT YOU WHERE GONNA GIVE IT ALL WHERE YOU NOT? LOL NO TIME FOR DESPERATE BlTCHES! Moral: Not to be confused with the slightly less popular Nintendo character Shy Guy

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

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Female: You're hot! Male: hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha get in the van.

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Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on! Great! Maybe next time I'll electrocute you to death!

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Me 17 years old at a bar: Me: Hey there! Girl: Let me stop you there, you seem confident, you for real or just trying to look confident? Me: uuuuuuh.... Girl leaves. Moral: It was not until that day I realized that being confident at hitting on girls alone don't really get you anywhere.

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showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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Flipping a coin to give you my number or not to give you my number

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- Hey, I have 40 minutes to live and need to feel the touch of a woman to live. -I'm a dude.

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Man: DAMN BABE YOUR SO DAMN HOT I... Woman: You know what? Im so sick of you guys hitt... Man: OOOOOOOOOOOOH! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEEEEEEEEEES THIS IS DELISHUSH! Woman: WHAT HAPPENED? :O Man: Huh? Never mind, ZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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If you were attacked by a bear with chainsaw arms i hope it stays away from your face, because I think you're cute.

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Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

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He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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Roses are red Violets are gold Get on your knees And do what your told

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!