Is it true you black men are as hung as a horse? Uh lady, no idea I like ignore their stuff. Yeah but you know, I seen a lot of them and they are huge and look salty an... Woman! Im so outta here! Moral: Now the man is goin! C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

Pick up lines from the stone age: Fail. Man: Hello, you look beautiful, I speak very well, and if you allow me to make love with you, I promise I will protect you and raise the child with you :)! Woman: WHAT? A guy without wild chesthair that speaks instead of grunting and yelling? You to sex me and you do not even got a club? I am SOOO gonna go to Grogg instead! He has like the biggest club and knows how to really HIT a woman! Moral: I would say somethings do change, but Id rather be Grogg than the loser above, of course I prefer hitting ON women first, if that does not work I... Oh right, I am married :P

Sugar-free sugar cookies

Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

Do you have Groupon? *wait for response* Because you look fucking cheap

M: What's a pretty girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? F: Running and screaming for help

Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

when ilfe gives you lemons i squirt the jiuce in my eyes so i dont have to stare at you anymore :)

How much does a polar bear weigh? I don't know. Quite a lot, actually.

Man: There is a U and I in beautiful Woman: Ya, but there is only a U in ugly

At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

Him: I'd go through anything for you. Her: The exit's over there.

You want to sleep with me and i want to sleep with you. I'm at least half right.

Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

Fear not moral man is back, in a moment of weakness I let myself go... let us put it this way... some like me, some hate me, that is what happens when people such as I speak their opinion. And if someday the entire world wants to destroy Moral Man... Moral Man will unleash doomsday! Moral: I am back, like me, hate me, you can still ignore me... but until I get some sleep and can start working out again (icy weather is not for bicycling is it?) Then Moral Man stands... Ps: Hey, thanks there below, my most thumbed up comments had minus 5 and such, so I got kinda down since I thought the internet too needed someone that speaks his mind. More Morals: But then I remembered I do this to entertain myself, and that you downvoters can all go screw yourselves! MORAL MAAAAAAAAAN! MORAL MAAAAAAAAN! Action figures in store now!

What happens when you run over a mexican? The country gets one less illegal immigrant.

Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

Girl: Hey, why don't you and I go out to dinner? Guy: Thanks, but if I wanted to watch a whore stuff her face full of meat, I'd just load up Redtube.

Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!