Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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I need a fire extinguisher, because my heart is on fire! If you ever talk to me again, I will need a fire extinguisher because I will set myself on fire.

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Is someone following you? Cuz ive been seeing people behind your back.

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men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

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Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

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He: You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She: You are so handsome when you keep your mouth shut.

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-Do your feet hurt? Because I couldn't help but notice you look about 75 pounds overweight and I hear that is rough on your feet.

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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I understand why you not married!, you snort and farting all night, bye

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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Hey gurl, you smell like tape!

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

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Is there someone behind you? cause im seeing people behind your back

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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I'll punch ya!

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Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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HI, DO YOU KNOW WHY THEY CALL ME DOCTOR RABBIT THE HYMEN DESTROYER? Nero the clit collector: Actually this works pretty good, just wear a random rabbit costume, cut a hole where your CAWCK is, and make sure they are girls under twelve or below (because it kinda loses its meaning with little boys but fuck it anyways, yeah fuck it! FUCK IT TO THE LIMIT!) I work at a daycare center: Because I care.

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BOY: Are you thinking what im thinking? GIRL: I dont know, what are you thinking? BOY: both of our bum cracks smell like buttery popcorn, i like popcorn :)

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-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

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Girl: Hi honey, wanna see a magic trick? Boy: Sure, why not? Girl -POOF- YOU'RE SINGLE!

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I'm jealous of every girl that hugs you, Because for that one second she held my entire world.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!