hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

thumb_up thumb_down -44

For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -109

- You're a bombshell! - Too bad it ain't gonna BANG!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

thumb_up thumb_down -65

Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Man; Wanna play the rape game? Girl; No Man; That's the spirit

thumb_up thumb_down +76

Hey, we have coresponding genetailia, we should converge in sexual intercourse.

thumb_up thumb_down +255

Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

thumb_up thumb_down -56

guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

thumb_up thumb_down +170

How much does a polar bear weigh? Not as much as my dick.

thumb_up thumb_down +112

Your father must be a thief, because I saw him stealing at Target earlier.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

thumb_up thumb_down -73

Man: "Let's play Titanic. You'll be the Titanic, and I'll be the iceberg making you go down." Woman: "That would be a massive disaster."

thumb_up thumb_down +45

-Because you are not very attractive I figure you have low self-esteem. I will prey on your poor self-image for short-term sexual gratification. Also, you are really drunk. -OK.

thumb_up thumb_down +88

M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

thumb_up thumb_down +203

Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +127

Ay girl, those jeans make your ass look fat. Now I'ma get you pregnant while you make breakfast.

thumb_up thumb_down -202

M: Hey whats up? W: My Dick!

thumb_up thumb_down +53

-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

thumb_up thumb_down -70

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!