- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Are you a speeding, aggressive driver? Because your running straight up my ass

Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

Man: Your tag's showing. It says "Made in Heaven". Woman: Proceeds to leak period blood into a puddle at the man's feet and walks away in silence

He: How do you like your eggs in the morning? She: Unfertilised!

http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

How much does a whales weigh? How much? Just enough to make you look skinny.

You know, I had a great pickup line, but I just forgot it.

-Your the hottest girl i have ever met -I'm a man

Mens most noob things to say during sex: "Thank you" "Do I really get all this for free?" "Sure you don't want me to pay you?" "MOTHER!" crying "You`re wet down there! Did you just pee yourself? DISGUSTING!!!" "I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!" "STOP SUCKING CUZ IM ABOUT TO CUM!!"

-Did it hurt? When you fell from Heaven? -Are you implying that I'm satan?

- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

cockface

You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

He: Did it hurt? She: When I fell from heaven? heard it before... He: No, when you fell from the ugly tree!

Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

I am Lucifer, my color is blue I already got my queen TO HELL WITH YOU! Moral: Know my name and fear it, I am now and forever.

"Have you ever seen a 2-incher?"

Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

hey Herpes Go Away!

imgonna r@pe you

Do you work at Subway, because you're giving me a footlong. No actually, I once had a job at a local Quizno's Sub Shop. However a tragic fire killed several employees and customers at this very location. I survived, but lost have permanent Third-Degree burns across my body. My life is ruined, prick.

guy: can i rape you? girl: No Guy: great that means any sex we have from now on is consensual, thanks

Drunken man: Hey sexy ;) what is such a pretty thing doing in this shitty place? wanna come home with me? Nun: I am a nun! And this is a church! Drunken man: I know dammit im not THAT drunk... so what do you say? Nun: Uh... okay...

i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book