He: did it hurt? She: when i fell from heaven? He: no. when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. go put some clothes on.

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Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

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Are you from tennessee? Cause you've got fine written all over you.

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This tux is rented by the hour, are you?

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Hey babe, how about my mom drives us to the comic book store in her Civic? I got a carseat with seat belts for two.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Did it hurt? Did what hurt? When you fell from heaven.. and crushed all the people below (for a fat girl)

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Girl: How come you never look at me when we make love? Guy: Your face is taking away the memory of your sister's.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet i would pass on it.

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I hate you already.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I want to F*** you with a rake.

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That King that said: Kill all male babies... Lets say he was a teenager? Moral: Excellent job son, but you see, sharing is caring, have a victory drink!... Thing is... I don't care... rest well...For eternity... Hughman Heffer... The seed has been sown... you got nothing on me...

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-Girl I'd go through anything for you. -Good than go through a blender!

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Was your dad a thief? Because he's in jail

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Sung to the melody of Ozzy`s: "Moral Man" HEES THE MORAL MAN, IIIS HEE MORAL OR IS HE DEAD? HEES THE MORAL MAN AAARE THERE MORALS INSIDE HIS HEEAD. Moral: NOOO THERE ISNT! ONLY IMMORAL INSIDE! AND ILL KEEP POSTING, ONLY TO CRUSH YOUR INSIDES! *guitar solo begins*

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Man: Your body is a tempe! Woman: Sorry, no services today.

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-Hey, what's your sign? -I don't know, but yours must be Cancer.

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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Van what van? GET TO THE CHOPPAH!

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Man: Hey you look good enough to do Woman: Oh really because so does my 8 foot boyfriend. Man: ... Woman: Do you want me to pick him up from the gym?

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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Guy: So how about that Tom Cruise??? Guy: ... I'm in the wrong type of bar...

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!