I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Are those space pants? Cause there's not enough space in my house to fit your ass.

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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Are your legs tired? cuz ive got a raging boner and need to get rid of it

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Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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He: I know all 21 letters of the Alphabet She: Isn't there 26?? He: Oh yeah...i keep forgetting URAQT

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"Is this seat free?" "Yes, and if you sit on it, this seat will be free too"

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-Go on ,don’t be shy. Ask me out. -Okay, get out.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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I have a gun.

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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- I think i lost my number, can i have yours? - I think i lost my number too.

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He:*walks over* She: What is it now? He:*Unzips fly.* She : OH DEAR CHRIST NO

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I put the STD in Stud all I need is U

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Boy: Hey girl, do you wanna play hard to get? Girl: No. Boy: That's the spirit!

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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roses are red violets are blue i suck at rhyming get in the van.

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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Look at the keyboard, u and i are together. Look underneath, it says jk.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!