Ever had violent sex with a murderer/rapist? ;) ;)

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I wouldn't.

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At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

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Boy: If i can rearrange the keyboard, i'll put U and I next to each other Girl: It's already together dumbass

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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Hey lady, you're really, really cute! Let's go out in the woods, GET NAKED and have sex!

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

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Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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Man, stay alive, I dont even got time to read that shit. See you around son.

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A guy asks a girl in the bar if he can buy her a drink she denies saying that alcohol is bad for her legs the guy asks why do they swell? No. they spread.

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Guy: I got you a gift! Girl: Thanks.. make sure it's not you....

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Online Desperate Asians.com Man: Wow you are a cute asian girl! Where are you from? Girl: Thanks my name Aoi is I am from Japan, you look like nice older man! Man: Japan? Awesome! Remember when we nuked the hell out of your country? Happy days! SLAP A JAP! *Connection discontinued* Man: Eh really sorry, I just get nervous when I meet girls especially the cutest ones... Man: hello?

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At bar Man: Uh... um... wanna come home see my star wars board games collection? Woman: SURE! Man: *Heart attack*

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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Do you wanna be a pirate ship? Because there can be tons of seamen inside of you.

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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-You know I've always had a thing for blondes -thats funny, i've always had a thing for girls

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Real life anti Joke mambo number five: Me: Hey wanna do it? Girl: I am a nun now remember? Me: Yeah but I always wanted to do it with a nun ;). Moral: She forgave me, nine years later :P

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!