He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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Keep it classy! Man: Hello mylady may I be as rude as to say you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen? Girl: Oh, wow I mean such class! Man: Yes you see, I am only asking... You see, would you mind a bit of some violent rapage? Girl: How dare you! Man: Oh I mean not be rude mylady, just a bit of torture and some few stylish cuts with my fancy knife? Moral: Whatever you do, whatever you want, KEEP IT CLASSY!

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Do you know karate? Because I'd like to kick you in the face.

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

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I have a .357 magnum pointed at your kidney. Wanna go get some coffee?

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Hi, GET IN THE VAN, Drink this, Don't Scream whisper* "does ur body fit in my trunk?"

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Hey, you look like a hooker I fondled in Las Vegas

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Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

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Hey, nice shoes. Where did you buy them ? My girlfriend wants shoes like that.

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Are those space pants? Because no one is going to hear you scream later.

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You look like one that does not charge for sex ;)

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Guy: Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night Girl: Well I have a car, how about I run you over with it instead?

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"Rate your looks out of 10" "awkward... maybe 8 or 9 i guess?" "I said 10, not 100"

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Man: May I please sit next to you for a brief moment? Woman: Sure :), you`re such a gentleman :). Man: Would you care for a bit of violent rapage in you`re anus?

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Guy for a girl with a dog: -Does the dog have a cell phone? -Why? is your mom in heat?

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- Grab your coat, you've pulled - Okay, Bye!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!