Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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Hey babe, are your parents arseholes? Because your the shit.

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You're like a star in the sky. Nothing but gas.

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I may have never f*cked a 10 before, but I did f*ck five 2's.

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- I put the STD in STUD, all I need is U - ...

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Your body would look good in my trunk.

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If you were homework, I would slam you on my table and do you all night long.

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BOY: Are you a chicken? GIRL: Why? BOY: Because I'll like you to lay on my eggs all day...

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How about you swing by my place so we can do some complex algebraic functions.

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H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

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Man: Do you work at Subway? Girl: Why? Did I just give u a 6 inch?

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Boy: Are you Mc Donalds? Girl: Why because your loving it? Boy: No because ur fat and greasy!

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Hello, it's nice to meet you.

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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Roses are red. Violets are blue I have a gun Get in the van

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Hey, I got some of the worst ratings on Horsehead network! Really? Moral: You bet!

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Man enters bar: Man: is there any... I mean ANY woman that would not instantly reject me here? If there is, I would like her... or in worst case scenario, HIM that she/he is very special to me and has the most beautiful eyes ever... THANK YOU

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I was a little bit nervous to talk to you at first, but thankfully my Aides encouraged me to do it.

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Girl: Go f**k yourself Guy: can you help me?

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Put the lotion on the skin!

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*a guy and a girl meet at a bar and has a great conversation* girl - can I borrow your phone? I told my ex I'd call him when I found someone better. boy - sure, here you go *gives phone* girl - *silence* *after awkward phone call* boy - give me my phone back girl - you dont seem to get it do you... boy - give me my phone back girl - *silence* boy - GIVE ME MY PHONE BACK YOU BITCH *boy takes out a shotgun with him and repeatedly shoots girl* *girl dodges and takes a bazooka and aims for boy* *boy manages to get out of the bar* *boy installs bomb in center of bar* *boy leaves bar* *everyone attempts to get out of bar* *boy locks the door* boy - Yippie kai yay, moth- *explosion* *everyone dies* MORAL OF THE STORY - DO NOT GO INTO A BAR

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Why are you crying? I have to walk out these woods alone!

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I have a gun.

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-wow I could just drown in the ocean of your eyes -well why don't you -well I'll steal your sisters number, get lost at sea, and shipreck in her bed Then you can come and save us when she is shouting S.O.S out of the other room

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!