Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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excuse me my eyes are up here thats great........where are your nipples

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So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

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Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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Did you fall from heaven because you landed on my wind shield some how

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Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

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Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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Are you from tennessee? Cuz it looks like your missing some teeth.

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have some money, how much are you?

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-Hey Baby, wanna date? -No thanks, I'm allergic to fruits

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Girl: Do you know any good movies? Boy: Snakes on a plane Girl: Whats it about? Boy: It's about Horses.. on a boat.

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"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

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Hi, I've taken like 8 dumps today... Wanna dance?

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-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

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girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

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Guy: Do you like me? Girl: No Guy: ..... Girl: You didn't ask me if I loved you! Guy: Do you love me? :D Girl: No

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Are you an electrician? Cuz' you turn me on.

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I lost my Nobel prize, can you help me find it?

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Would you like a free breast reduction consultation?

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Guy: So do you wanna come over to my place? Girl: Not really but thanks for the offer.

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Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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You know, you can't spell "stud" without STD and U

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!