Id catch a grenade for ya, but you won't do the same

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-You're fat! -No I'm not. -You will be, when my dick is in you

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Man: "Did you fall from heaven? 'Cause it looks like you landed on your face"

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you look like my mother

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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-Hi miss are you a ketchup? -hey is this some corny pick-up line?,,,okay fine. why? -because I want to dip my hot dog to you

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"Hi. You're looking mightily mediocre and I would like to buy you a medium priced drink."

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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Man: Wow you are my cousin? Damn girl you are hot! I mean nothing wrong you know, I was just wondering if you wanna get a innocent cup of coffee Woman: Uh, thanks, but I have never met you... Man: Not my cousin? Bah, what a turnoff im outta here... Moral: Yeah moral... Pffft! You will have an easier time finding Waldo here.

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Huge blue man: I AM THE APOCALYPSE! YOU ARE NOT FIT TO SURVIVE! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Huge blue man: "facepalm" THIS GAME, IS OVER! Moral: Dont start out too strong...

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You're hot, I'm ugly. Lets make average babies.

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Im the demanding customer, your Dominos Pizza, I will make you Cum in 30 minutes or less.

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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-I heard you broke up :). -Yes, cookies to put in my ice cream!

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with glue? My d***

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Mario: Its a me Mario! Woman: Uhuh... Mario: Its a me Mario? Woman: Yeah you got a point? Mario: Okey dokey! Woman: So? Mario: Letsa go! Woman: Well okay, I mean *chews bubblegum* at least I know who you are and stuff... Moral: I once saw a red mushroom come out of a question block, so I just touch it with my Richard and... ...Wait ill take the green one, just in case, I good with what I have...

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Guy: what do this pickup line and your face have in common? Girl: what? Guy: they are both poorly constructed.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!