I'll never forget the day I swept you off of my feet.

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What did you do to Kelly? Why? Because she said you did her good(; What? Cuz' I heard you did that goood thing(; When? Last night on the bed, 3am(;

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If i could re-arrange the alphabet i'd put you and that other girl together.

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A goat goes to the store and asks the store clerk where the potatoes are. The clerk told the goat to check aisle 5 for the potatoes. The goat goes to aisle 5 and there were no potatoes.

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If i could rearrange the alphabet, id put my dick in your mouth.

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Are you on your period, because there's a blood stain on your pants

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-can i buy you a drink? i buy you a taxi?

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Man: Are you a beach? Cause I'm sure there's a lot of crabs crawling around down there

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Man: Hello! I am SUPERMAN! And you are so hot you are my Kryptonite! Woman: then you better get lost before you die! Man: Uh well... yeah uh... walks away (in non super speed strangely) Moral: Think things trough sometimes...

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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Guy -Are you from Tenessee? Girl -No. guy -oh, because you looked kinda southern.

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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Did you gain weight? Because I think your gravitational pull towards me just increased.

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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Baby, I love every muscle in your body... Especially mine.

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TURRETES (or however you spell it) GUY ON PICKUP! Man: IM GONNA RAPE YOUUUUUUUUUUUU! Woman: EEEEEEEEEEK! (runs away) Man: I mean... I tried to say you seem nice...:( Moral: BOB SAGET!

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-Insert man's line here- -Wanna get laid?- -TOTALLY!- -Crawl up a chicken's ass and wait.-

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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I asked my friend who the prettiest girl in here is, and he told me to ask you because you seemed more familiar with everyone here.

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I AM FAGNETO! WELCOME TO GAY!

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-Go on don't be shy, Ask me out. -Okay Go out.

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Girl, now I want you to be on top! Okay, what position? DOGGY STYLE! Moral: Sickman Fraud, with that name smart people should listen with one eye open, while geniuses keep their eyes and ears shut.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!