Let's not turn this rape... into a murder

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male: hey i like you can i have your number female: what number? male: your pin number i want your money

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

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If you were Mufasa I'd help scar push you off the ledge

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Man with huge arms and HUGE muscles enters a... pub! (for variety`s sake) "Hey you like fisting!" Woman: Yeah kinda.. I mean HOLY SHIT NO! I DONT PLEASE STOP NO NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHHHH! Moral: Get a room you two! (a moral man original)

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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-Do you come here often? -Yeah, but now that you're here, I think I'll find another bar.

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Whats small, rough, and painful to put in your ass? Sandpaper

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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-If I could arrange the alphabet, that would be cool.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? because I can... Yes actually, it's my new LCD Mirror Screen Protector for my iPhone.

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This one is for the ladies: Man: If I could put 6 and 9 on my calculator we would have the greatest time ever ;) Woman: If you did that id just put 911 on my cellphone.

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Keep it classy! Man: Hello mylady may I be as rude as to say you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen? Girl: Oh, wow I mean such class! Man: Yes you see, I am only asking... You see, would you mind a bit of some violent rapage? Girl: How dare you! Man: Oh I mean not be rude mylady, just a bit of torture and some few stylish cuts with my fancy knife? Moral: Whatever you do, whatever you want, KEEP IT CLASSY!

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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At a bar (how creative): Man: I bet you look beautiful behind those tits... Woman: WHAT DO YOU MEAN DONKEYHOLE!?!?!?! Man: Uh... well I mean I really cant see your face and... Moral: Silicone tits are nice too... in MODERATION FFS!

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Man: I will make the rape on you now woman! Woman: Wow great Borat imitation bravo! Man: Borat who? *draws gun* Moral: Pretty immoral

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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I hope you know CPR, because you so ugly you take my breath away

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male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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Guy : Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Girl : No, why? Guy : Because I can totally see myself in your pants!

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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Seriously tho mah bebeh... Did you ask for a Pepsi or mah cocka-colah?

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—hey girl, how about you give me your phone number and I'll pay half of your order. —sure *passes a paper and paid for the things. The girl walked away* The boy flips open the paper "911, call my dad and ask for me"

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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