I'm craving some bacon, wanna strip?

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is your name macaulay culkin? cuz you're going home alone.

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-Can I buy you a drink? -Go ahead, but only if you buy my boyfriend one too!

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-I think you're the best looking girl in here. -Really? Well, I'd better go find the best looking guy then, hadn't I!

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-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

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Man: Wanna hear a joke about my C*ck, nevermind, it's too long Woman: Wanna hear a joke about my P*ssy, oh wait you'll never get it

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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-You look like a dream. -Go back to sleep.

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Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

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Im tired of fapping... wanna help me get some variation?

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-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

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Male: Haven't I seen you someplace before? Female: Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore

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You wanna go somewhere? Yeah, where? The Swingers Association.

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Heard at a bra: Hi I am Moral man, the third most infamous guy at a list where Beiber is first. Girl: OMG I MUST HAVE YOU! Moral: ooooh... ANTI Joke duh... I thought this was great pickup lines!

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man-hey baby you wanna go somewhere girl-no thanks hells over there

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Pooh... my my... it sure its fucking cold outside, I have cooled down now, excuse me while I get back to... My well... Je ne sais quoi... Allright, foursome sex! There you got it, thumb this bitch down because I dont like bragging, but these girls dared me to do it, and we all gotta provide and share ;) Moral: I am the only man of course feck! The alternative is disguting!

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-I can see forever in your eyes. -But all I can see is never in yours.

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good thing i got my library card cuz im checking you out. i hate people who have library cards.

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-Adam, am I the only girl in your life? -Who else is there?

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Violets are blue. Roses are red. Your window was open. I'm under your bed.

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haha

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B: Can I have your number ? G: Sure.. 666

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why can't a black person play baseball because the steal bases

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Man: Wanna (censored)? Woman: (Censored) you man!

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!