male- are you from Tenessee female- why? am I the only ten you see? male- no, i was just going to say you look a little inbred.

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sound of zipper

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HIM: Where have you been all my life? HER: I don't think I was born the first half of it

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Does anyone have a toothpick? I need to pick the crabs out of the cracks of my teeth.

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you look fap-fap-fap-fabulous

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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Hey baby you looking for a stud? Cuz I've got the STD and all I need now is U

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He: Did it hurt? She: Aww when I fell from heaven? Thanks! He: No, when you fell from the whore tree and banged every guy on the way down. She:...

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At a ... PUB! Man: Hey... wanna... go out with a true shinob i ninja? ;) Woman: Are you not supposed to be invisible or something? Man: You can see me? SHIT! (runs away). Moral: So what if she saw you you are all covered in a pajamas anyways...

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I might not be the best looking guy here but im the only one talking to you

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Girl: "In all of my years, I've never laid eyes on a more attractive, sensitive, and understanding man. With all of my heart, I adore you. Your eyes are pools of heavenly water, teeming with life and love; your succulent smile crafted as elegantly as Mona Lisa's. Your words could move nations; your voice could soothe beasts. Do me the ultimate pleasure of accepting my eternal devotion to you." Boy: "I'm gay."

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No more morals? I read his crap for hours! Moral: ;( Bye man.

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-Hey, baby, What's your sign? -Stop.

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-Did it hurt -What when i fell from heaven? -No when you fell from the ugly tree and hit every single branch on the way down

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Male-where have you been all my life ? Female-not in it thats for sure Male-i was singing a song i wouldn't want YOU in my life Female-i was singing a song 2 *lies*

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Hey you must be Jabba the slut from Starwars... why are you crying? Moral: Moral is half the battle

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Man: Hey you are so pretty I bet you are a hooker! Woman: Uh.. thanks but no.. Man: Damn... I was hoping to get laid tonight...

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"You look like an angel that fell from heaven and hit its face on the pavement."

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Guy on phone:ok im on my way. Other guy:who was that,your mom? Guy on phone:no yours. (this is not mine ,its from Cyanide en Happines).

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have a mac10. GET IN THE VAN.

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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did it hurt ? did what hurt? when your fell from heaven? because it looks like you landed on your face :O

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I hope you're not a vegetarian.... because my dick is made of meat.

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-I bet you put extra sugar in your cereal every morning. -Aww, because I'm so sweet? -No. Because you're fat as hell.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!