Got milk? Cuz baby, im of it!

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damn, girl... you look like you put your socks on BOTH feet.

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-My love for you is like diarrhea, I cant hold it in...

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I couldn't help but notice you from the other side of the bar. You look way better from over there.

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Hello little girl would you like some candy, yes? ;-)

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Guy : your looking well! Girl: awh thanks Guy: You must have shaved this morning.....waaaaaay

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so how long have you been a bald ghost wombat?

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Male: are you from Tennessee? Female: yes, why? Male: because Tennessee has great food. Do you think we could travel there together.

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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showing people this http://hahgay.com/ p.s after seeng any girls want to come back to my place

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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"I prefer animals... but your so ugly you remind me of my dog"

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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Is that a mirror in your pants? We should have sex immediately.

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HE ; " MY NAME'S BOND, JAMES BOND" SHE;" MY NAME'S ****, **** OFF!"

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Ya know what would look good on you? ME!

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I love a girl with a trimmed bush because it makes it easier to see into her window at night.

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M. Haven't I seen you some place before? W. That's why I don't go there anymore

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—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

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Me: it smells in here Her: its maybe my perfume! Me: no i let a glorious fart fallowed my an ass crapping on my foot

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By reason or by Strength, moral man has a serious side too, and I prevail. Moral: Threats... anyone in my unit threatening another would simply be thrown in jail for a couple of weeks, then kicked out, and using military equipment to threaten, trace and murder people is highly illegal. Asshole, troll or not, I will use my right and reason to have you removed permanently from the horsehead network if you persist.

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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girl:go away! boy:okay girl:i need space boy:okay just one meter girl: no i"m not kidding boy:i know girl:my mother hate's you boy:i hate her too.! girl:we are now break boy:okay i"m hungry lets eat! girl:you don't understand me boy:no i"m understand you girl:you are philosopher i hate you boy:what? girl:nothing at the end of the story they loved each other

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!