man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Girl, you must have fallen from heaven...because you're dead.

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Are you from Ireland cause my penis is dublin'

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-words can't describe how beautiful you are. -aaaawwwwwwww. -but numbers can. 3/10. -fffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-

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Guy: Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? Girl: No, but it will hurt when I pepper spray you.

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Hey girl, ever tried a double dildo with a man before? ;)

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“I've been looking for a girl like you - not you, but a girl like you.” (Groucho Marx)

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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-Is there anything I can do for you? -Fill my care cup. Oh, actually, I don't think you can manage to do that.

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-Get in the Van

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Lady: Is your name REAAAAAAAAALLY Moral? Moral: Stupid big titted bimbo... seems im getting laid tonight...just like I was today, and by midday and... yeah lie.. I mean brag a lot I do not have sex THAT many times a day... okay I lied again... Anyway vote me for president at least I am honest... well actually that was a lie but...

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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are you from tennessee? because your license plate said it.

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why was the girl stupid beacuse she had brain sergy

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M:HEY BABY! Where you from? W: Im a lesbian.. M: COOL! So which part of Lesbia are you from?

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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Wanna have sex?

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-Hey baby,what's your sign? (; -Do not enter. >_>

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Wow! You know, your eyes are like blueberries, wait, can I actually, can I actually, I'm kinda hungry, can I, can I have them?

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Guy: Are you an angel? Girl: Wait till I die, i'll be one.

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Man: Hey sexy girl there... Whats your name? Cena: I am John Cena! I can rap because you can eat.. uh crap... wait I need some allsholes to write some rad lyrics for me here...

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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Let me stick it in...just once baby...that's all I'll need. ;)

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- you are in my mind everyday - and your in my way

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!