At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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Male: Do you know if there is an airport around here? Cause my heart took off, when I saw you... Female: Yeah? Well my heart crashed in the Hudson River when I saw you!

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play R-a-p-e? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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my love for you is like diarrhea. i can never hold it in

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-Are you the sun? -No.. Why? -Because you need to stay 93,000,000 miles away from me.

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Yeah! Keep drinking girl! Ill just lube your backdoor, what? Dont ask, just drink! Moral: I love it when women call me a pig, all men are pigs, and real women dont want some boy...

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: What? Guy:When I drugged you, then dragged you all the way to my place and banged the hell out of your ass? I also managed to get my entire fist in and out of your ass several times. Moral: Wanna go out with me?

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Guy: I think I got lost in your eyes. Girl: Here's a GPS. Go find yourself.

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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Did it hurt when you burst through the concrete emerging from hell? Yes, yes it did.

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Farewell to thy, you have been most amusing. Moral: Has left the building.

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For Christmas I got some toy soldiers, To play with when I'm in bed, But I got bored with my seargents and majors, So I played with my privates instead.

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Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd take you out back in the shed and screw you!

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Guy: What's your name? Girl: Damisha. Guy: I can't believe it! You're called just like my highschool's platonic love. Girl: Impossible, I just made it up.

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Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

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You're so hot that if someone threw a grenade at you, I'd probably throw it back because falling on it sounds like a really dumb idea.

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-hey baby wanna get a drink? -no but i wanna get the heck away from you

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-Do you like me? -No

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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"Are you my Appendix? Because I have a funny feeling in my stomach that makes me feel like I should take you out." "I charge $80 with anesthesia, $40 without."

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Hello children! :D

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A. If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together. B. Oh really? Well, if I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put N and O together. Oh wait -- they're already there. Huh.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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