- Can I buy you a drink? - Yes, providing you f**k off immediately afterwards and I never have the misfortune to see or smell you ever again.

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girl- how much does a polar bear weigh? girl- enough to break the-- boy- Are you talking about an adult polar bear? boy- then it's around 400-500 kg girl- blast!

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hey you look like a good practice girl.

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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Man at bar: Hey girls... want my banana in your pajamas? ;) ;) ;) Girls: YEAH! Man: "thinks for himself..."... man I never get this reaction from girls.. you are a bunch of skanks and sluts... (leaves the bar) In the end, we are never happy with what we get are we? yeah... this is kinda the moral of this story... (Ps: My banana in your pajamas... I got a girlfriend, but someday Im gonna try that pick up line... hahahaha

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Are you a dinosaur? Because you look like you got hit by an asteroid.

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You're parents must be assholes because baby you're the shit!

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Man: Your red thumbs cannot hurt me! Im the MoralmanBitch! *Throws couch at woman* WHOAAAAAAAAAARGH!* Woman: *dead* Man:Hey wake up bitch! HEY! I said wake up or ill have my way with you!... Moral got jugs! Moral: Works every time

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guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

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-I work for the FBI -Oh I work for the CIA, maybe we'll see each other at a meeting -Yeah I'm in the Female Body Inspector division -I'm in the Can the Idiot Absent himself division

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Are you being followed because i've been see someone behind your back!

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Black dude at bar: HERE COMES THE COLE-TRAIN BABY! WANNA RIDE! Girl: So I assume your name is Cole right? Dude: Uh... actually no but... WAIT! where are you going!

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The word of the day is ass, lets go upstairs and observe the word.

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Hey girl, is your name Ethiopian food? Because your playing hard to get.

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I'm your Edward and your my Bella

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You must have a large mass because i am highly attracted to you

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"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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Hey, are you from Tennessee? Because you look like you are from Tennessee.

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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Why did the small girl run away? She saw her own coqu in the mirror.

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-Can I have your number? -Can my boyfriend punch you in the face?

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- I would love to get into your pants... - You can't: I have an asshole in there already.

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Damn girl did you just come from the dump? Cause you smell like shit.

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roses are red violets are twisted bend over b**** your about to get fisted

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!