- Anti-Pickup Line

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Are you a beaver? Because your overbite seems to be made for my wood. Moral: Take what you see, improve it, and steal the glory... We all do it... maybe not as obvious as this... but judging me badly would be hypocrisy...

Oh hotness I wanna bang you!

Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

-Nice bum where ya from? -Australia, wanna ****?

Did it hurt? When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down?

Man: Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

-What`s it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar? -What`s it like being the biggest liar in the world?

M - If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together. F - Yeah, it's too bad that N and O are already together.

sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

Miss excuse me but... Moral: Admitt it fucker, you cant pick up a girl by apolgizing for whatever you are gonna do beforehand. GIMME FIVE! (red thumbs, red is the color of love or something)

Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

Male: Did you get your tickes to the barbercue? Female: What barbercue? Male: The barbercue where i put my meat on your face.

M. Excuse me Miss. You have seamen on the back of your jacket. W. Are you sure? It could just be Yoghurt. M. Most Definitely. I don't Cum Yoghurt.

Talk to me or I'll burn your face with this acid.

Have you been followed? 'Cuz i've been seeing people behind your back.

- You're so hot, that if you ate a piece of bread, you'd poop out toast! -You're so cold that if you drunk a glass of water, you'd poop out ice.

Hey baby i have a 3 inch penis but i produce two galons of semen everytime i cum...

Don't turn this rape into a murder.

Can I have this dance? Sure just give me a minute to load my gun

man: you look like my favorite girl. Girl: is that so? Man: yupp, best dog i ever had.

I wish I was your math momework, because then I would be really hard and you'd be doing me on the desk.

Penis. I got it

Anti-Pickup Line

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book