Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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if i was a fly, i'd be all over you, because you are the SHIT.

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Don't turn this rape into a murder.

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If your right leg was Thanksgiving and your left leg was Christmas, could i come between the holidays?

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Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

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- Did it hurt? - What? - When you were catapaulted from the firey bowels of Hell?

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boy: hey wanna hang out some time?! girl: O MY GOD! r u hannah montanna?!

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Has someone been following you? Cause I've been seeing people behind your back.

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I would be in prison.

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Male: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put I and U together Female: You don't have to do anything because N and O are already together

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-So...wanna come back to my place? -I Dont Know If two people can fit in a box on the street.

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Male: "Why does it feel like the most beautiful girl in the world is in this room?" Female: "Because you're here"

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Woman: ARGH! I hate fist-ing Man: Fist-Ing? THis tiny hand? Nah baby this is mah PINGAS! Moral: Once you go black, you cant go back.

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A: Wanna go get some pizza and then have sex at my place?? B: No.. B: U don't like pizza? Some chinees then?

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Hey, i looked up the word beauty in the thesaurus and your name was mentioned there. ..... in the antonyms

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

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hey girl, were you in 9/11? cause I'll never forget you.

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Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

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Q: What did Tommy do when it was time to go to bed? A: Go to bed. Q:What did Tommy do when it was time to wake up? A: Kill him self.

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Are you the sun? Because you need to stay about 92,960,000 miles away from me.

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The word of the day is legs. Lets go to your place and spread the word

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Why can't Sally brush her hair? Because she has leukemia.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!