Ay Girl. Can I get yo digletts?

Hey girl, I just fuck my diapers, wanna change them ;) Moral: This has to be the one of the worst pickup lines in history.

My penis becomes hard and hard when I see your mom, but weak when I see you.

guy: r u from mcdonalds, coz im luvin it :D Girl: r u from burger king coz ur fat :L

—do you believe in love at first sight or shall I come back again? —no, and I think you shall not come back ever.

Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

Man: I would kill anyone at anytime for a kiss from you. Woman: Kill yourself now.

Do women shake the petrol pump after filling or is that just a guy thing?

Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma?

At a bar (another real life one): Man: You sort of look like a woman from a certain angle... I am so drunk I can pretend you are a woman all night long! ????: I AM A WOMAN! Man: How can we fix this so you can come home with me? Moral: Becoming unpopular was my goal, but third next to Justin Beiber? Maybe I overdid this a bit...

I'm a vegan thats why I am still a Virgin.

Hey babe, if you were a Pokemon, I'd choose you. Oh really? Because if you were a pokemon, I'd fight you, win and not even bother to capture you.

Do you work at subway? Because i often enjoy eating there and i think the food is good. I do not eat there every day because i do not want to get over weight.

- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

Are you from Tennessee? Because I have a lot of family that lives there, maybe we're related.

whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

- Are you from Tennessee bec- - Yes

From 1 to America how free are your tonight? North Korea

the word of the day is legs lets go to your house and spread the word

Man: Hey, I'm Red. You like to walk? Woman: No. I prefer to run. Away from you

You look... clean

can i austrailian kiss you, its like a french kiss but down under

hey your pretty... pretty ugly!

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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