I know who you are, and where you live. Can we meet there later?

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Hey big girl ;), why you alone? You ate all of your friends?

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hello my name is pogo would you like to jump on my stick?

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Girl: I AM SICK of being with you! All you do is invite me to watch sports, and all you have ever treated me to is a six pack of beer and snacks! YOU NEVER TAKE ME SOMEWHERE NICE! Man: Hey hold one man! Get a grip! What do you mean? Girl: We have been dating for over 3 weeks and you have not made a single move on me! Man: Uh... this is awkward buddy, you see I am straight and... Girl: I AM A WOMAN! Man: WHAAAAAAAAAAAT? Really?! NOOOOOOOOOOO!! I mean you have short hair and the biggest mantits I have seen but... Girl: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU! Man; But hey, if you have a pussy that is the important par... Hey where did he... I mean she or... whatever go?

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Man and girl talking: Girl: ARE YOU GETTING A HARDON? Man: You think I am a pervert or something? Of course not! Its just the hamster I keep between my ballsack!

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Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy, but here's my number, so shove it up your A$$.

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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It that a tsunami in your panties or are you excited to see me.. :)

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i want a blowjob bitch *lifts her hijab*

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Baby, I'm no Flintstone, but I can sure make your bed rock...

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"I'd like to get you out of those clothes. Really, they aren't very flattering. That color looks awful on you and those pants make you look fat."

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Ay Girl. Lemme squirtle on yo jigglypuffs

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I heard you were looking for a STUD, well I have an STD all I need is U

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greetings clarisse...

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Boy- Can I buy you a drink? Girl- Sure, after seeing your face I'll need the strongest thing that they have.

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Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

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My wife does not know it but every time we have sex I put a dollar aside to go toward her Christmas present. So far she is getting a cup of coffee.

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Hey Baby, Whats your name? Dave ...(silence)...

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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At some random bar: Man: I am Duke Nukem! Woman: DISGUSTING! Man: Huh? Moral: Sometimes you have to play the new games to understand the old...

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- You must be tired, you've been running through my mind all day. -No, your mind is so small I can't even take a step in it!

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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Let's not turn this rape into a murder..

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!