Girl! you are almost as awesome as horsehead network! Moral: I got balls of steel!

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What's a good comeback if a guy asked me "Bring me a sandwich"?? -COmeback with the goddamn sandwich

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I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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A long time ago I had a vision of someone like you. I was in a psych ward, wearing a straight jacket. Would you like some blended cheese?

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*At a concert* guy- hey if you were that drum set, i'd bang you on that stage all night

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sHe; Theirs a "L" in love. he; and theirs a L in Lick my penis.

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At the library: So girl, how about we find a nice quiet place? Moral: Location, location...

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guy: do you like sea food? girl: hell yes, I got crabs, would you like some

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Is Heaven missing an Angel? Because I have an erection.

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*Boy looks at cloth* -Does this smell like chlorophorm?

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Are you a magnet because I'm attracted to you No, but I am trained in several martial art, so get the heck away from me

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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While I am certain that the police consider you a person of interest, I assure you I do not.

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J.B: You smile, I smile. Girl: I wasn't smiling...

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-I better drive you home, miss. Because you're a woman and you can't drive. Get it?

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Girl: Are you a doctor? Because I think I have the flu. *sneeze*

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Girl - You smell nice, what have you got on? Boy - I have a hardon but i didn't think you could smell it.

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Guy:Are you wearing space pants, cause that ass is out of this world! Girl:No, they're baseball pants, cuz this ass is out of your league.

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-Does beauty run in your family? -It obviously doesn't in yours!

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http://scriptsbay.com http://scriptsbay.net

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Girl: I like a romantic man. Man: oh yes? Girl: Yeah he would have to sing to me... Man: Ehem... cough... okay here goes:Madness? Madness! Madness? Madness! Girl: What? Man: THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A-A A-A-A-A-A! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! THIS IS SPARTA! A-A-A.... Girl: EEEK MY EARS! *runs away* Man: Wait where are you going I am not even finished singing my youtube sparta mix!! Moral: When its hot, they pinch back, *wheeze*

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Male: What's on your mind? Female: How bad you must be at sex.

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Are you a parking ticket because I'm spending all my money on you and wish you were gone.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!