I walked into the pub last night with a date and said to the barman, "I'll have a pint of Guinness." My date immediately looked at me and said, "Aren't you forgetting something?" "Of course, how rude of me." I said, "I'll have a pint of Guinness PLEASE."

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Are you an ornithologist?... because my penis is incredibly swollen with blood.

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Vader getting it on ;): My sexual prowress overcomes even the power of the dark side. Can you even have sex? ... Uh... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

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Did the lord take the thunder from the skies, and put it in your thighs?

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How do you know where gonna have sex tonight.Im stronger than you.

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guy:did you fall from heaven? girl:no? guy:sorry, it just looks like you landed on your face

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

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The power to type any pointless superpower at the wrong place... ...shit...

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M: Your clothes look great on you. They would even better on my floor. F: No they wouldn't, they would just get dirty. M: You and me should get dirty then. F: Why would I want to get dirty, I'm perfectly fine being clean?

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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bitch: I like it when guys punch me. Me: I love it when you shut the hell up and leave.

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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Man: If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together Woman: What does ui spell?

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I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

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Woman: Hey hot stuff! Are you new around he... Man: Eh, I am not comfortable with women hitting on me, even hot ones like you, its just uh... awkward and... Woman: uh sorry, its not like I was hitting on you nor anything ;), Why dont you hit on me? Man: Uh... I err.. how you... uh... *the guy proceeds to stare at the floor for the next five minutes then runs out crying* Moral: NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!

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- Hello There Pretty Lady! - Hi... - Wow, your the fist girl I've met who has bigger boobs than I do! - Tw*t

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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On a scale from 1 to 10, can I get your number?

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Man: Lust is a terrible thing! Woman: I agree. Man: So come home with me and help me get rid of it.

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You look like a dog... Wana bone?

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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Hey did you fall from Heaven? Cos I think you are angel. If I'd fallen from anywhere that high I'd be in hospital with serious injuries or dead. Do the logic.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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