whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

wanna go halves on a b*stard?

Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

Shaved your beard, so I can see you're a woman.

You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

4 out of 5 people enjoy being gangraped

hey babe, are you made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium? because i like people made of copper, tellerium, tungsten and iridium.

Yo girl... My feelings keep growing, I just have to say it, but it might be too soon, it might even risk our friendship. Awww, just say it. Ok girl, I hate you more for every day, you fucking ugly bitch, if it where not for your money, id leave right away. Moral: Its not about what you want, its about what you need, therefore I decided I only need whatever I want, case closed.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform?

-Eeeeeeeey girl how much does a polar bear weigh? -An adult male weighs around 350–680 kg (770–1,500 lb),[4] while an adult female is about half that.

Hey baby that dress is amazing! It would look even better as a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor!

EVERYONE ELSE

Why did the boy have no friends? Because he was autistic.

Man: Hey, want to go back to my apartment and engage in intercourse? Woman: No

Man: Oh crap I don't have a condom Woman: Don't worry I have one

Will you marry me? WHO ARE YOU?

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

-don't sit on the table, people eat there! -don't sit on that chair, people sit there!

Are you an angel? 'Cause you're the only ten I see.

Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

Man and woman in bed, as the man looks troubled: Woman: Hey you are not in the mood? Whats wrong? Man looking down his pants: SNAKE! ANSWER ME! SNAKE WHATS WRONG? SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKEEEEEEEEEEE! Woman: We arent gonna have sex huh? Man looks down pants again: Nuh huh... game over girl... game over...

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!