Man: Wanna come to my place? Woman: Maybe if you take of the ski-mask and black clothing... Man: But then you'll ruin the surprise! :(

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Happy BirthdaySean!

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Man:Are you in college? Woman:Yeah. Berry College. Lots of cows... Man:Well my name is Murad. You know, like, Moo to the radical. Moo, like, cows...

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- If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put I and U together. - Would you also change it so that I is an object, therefore making your previous sentence grammatically correct? And besides, I already organized the alphabet so that N and O are right next to each other.

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Dude: Did you fart? Girl: No Dude: Oh I'm sorry because you blew me away

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Your clothes are making me uncomfortable, take them off.

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Boy: How much does a Polarbear weigh? Girl: How much? Boy: Just as much as me, hi my name is Ahron

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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Male: hey sexy whats your sign? Female: dead end!

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Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

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You are so beautiful. You look just like my dead wife. You can come back to my place and the 3 of us can get to know each other better.

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I have never dated a horse-faced woman before :)

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*Girl walks into restaurant* - Hi, are you sap666 from the dating site? - I'm going to kill your family! Since then, socially awkward penguin never dated anymore....

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whats it like being the only beautiful girl in the world? Whats it like having the smallest dick in the world?

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Girl, I wish you were a car door, cause I'd slam you all night

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So when' the baby due?

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He says: Are you're from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see. She says: Well, if we're making bad jokes: Are you from Illinois? Because you make me ill, and when I throw up from your face I'll make a lot of nois.

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Are you jamacian? Cause your jamacian me crazy? no you're a fucking whore

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Me noob days again: She: So, you like it here sweetheart? Me: Excuse me, why the hell are you rubbing my leg? She: Would you prefer I rub something else? Me: What the hell am I doing here anyways Duh! Then I sober up at home... And ran towards the shower, its really not that easy to drown yourself to death in a shower is it?

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your boobs are bigger than my nose

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Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

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Husband: Honey, I heard that when you die, you come back as a different creature! Wife: Really!? I want to come back as a cow!! Husband: You're obviously not listening.

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haha

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Female: Hey do you wanna buy me a drink? Male: I really don't like your face.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!