Roses are red, violets are blue, I thought I was ugly, but then I met you

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Nice hair, can I pull it?

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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Hey baby, let me take you to heaven.

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H3LL0 Girls, You need some THERAPEY? Call Nero The Moralman For A qualified TheRapist. The number? You wont get it, so then you will go mad with lust and need therapey Moral: Ooooh... I says ANTI Pickup line... Whats that? More Moral: Nothing is immoral! Everything is Moral MORAL MAN!

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Girl: I was just wondering... Boy: Smell my armpits on July 24th, 2016!

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guy: wanna make some money? girl: Na, I do it for free, i'm offering free herpes

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You're so hot you melt the plastic in my underwear

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i would drag my balls through miles of broken glass, just to hear you fart through a walkey-talkey

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Girlfriend: you are much more naive when you are naked, and a small penis, no hair and are 23 years old

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The word of the day is 'legs'. Wanna come to my place and spread the word?

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I'm heading back to my place. You want to come? Sorry, you strike me as a person who comes all by himself.

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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Hello children! :D

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-Heyyy there (; -Im lesbian.

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do you work at subway? 'cause you give me foot long. i'll do you a favour and cut it up

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-How much do you love me? -Count the stars in the sky and you'll know. -But it's the morning. -Exactly.

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you look like my mother

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Famous male actors guide on pick-up. 1. Enter Disco. 2. Say hello out loud. 3. By this point you`re screwed... literally.

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Man - Hey hun.. .Can I kiss the most beautiful girl on the whole party? ;) Wowan - Hell no. Man - Ah, I see... And what about you? Can I?

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Guy: What does a girl like you doing to a place like this? Girl: Trying to get away from you

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Hey baby, my name is Richard Gozinia. But my friends call me Dick. Dick Gozinia.

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Excuse me lady, may I say that you got wonderful hands? Aww please yes. Would you like a drink my buy? Please :D How classy. Why thank you, would you fancy some hard anal sex on camera for end up on youtube? Moral: He is keeping it classy...

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!