Hey there little girl there is a party down my pants you want to come? Oh I'm sorry i don't speak Herpes.

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-Your face must turn a few heads. -And your face must turn a few stomachs.

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cockface

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Man: (in indian accent) HELLO I AM VERY RICH INDIAN MAN, I HAVE COLLECTION OF EXPENSIVE CARS AND LIMOS, I TAKE LADY HOME AND MAKE SWEET LOVE TO HER, THEN GIVE HER LOTSA JEWELS AND MONEY! Woman: Cool ill come home with you. Man: Uh... can you lend me money for the bus?

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boy: my dick is 10 inches girl: mine's too

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Do you come here often? Because you're usually working the streets whenever I see you.

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Decaffeinated coffee is like a hooker who only wants to cuddle.

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Have you met Ted?

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I take the the out of psychotherapist

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

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Why was the little boy crying? Because he dropped his hamster in the garbage disposal

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Here, flowers for a pretty lady. These arent flowers they are leaves. Well you arent a pretty lady so hah!

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here's 20p, phone your Mum... she'll be the last person you ever speak to so be nice

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Girl: If you was a rollercoaster...I'd ride you all day long.. Guy: What? Am I not big enough for you now...why can't you just be happy with me... =_= Girl: : / I was tring to be all sexy in a cute way... Guy: Pfft. FREAK... e_e

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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Roses are red, something something, I am just too desperate to concentrate please let me just put it in you.

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Guy: want to hear a joke about my penis. don't worry, it's too long Girl: want to hear a joke about my vagina. don't worry, you won't get it

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-You are so lovely. -DOES NOT COMPUTE...

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- I'd go through anything for you. - Good! Let's start with your bank account.

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-I lost my phone number. Can I have yours? -No.

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Is that a mirror in your pocket? Use it next time you put your d**n make-up on.

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Didnt I just meet you at world of warcraft? My nickname is desperaterapist838493

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!