- Hey baby! You make my heart beat. - Oh, well you make my stomach churn.

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Man: If I ask you to go on a date, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this one? Woman: (pause) Rape!

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Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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Whats yo sign? Do not enter!

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Mmm baby....I want you to stick your Gaberwalkie in my bandersnatch.. ;)

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put you in between F and CK.

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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Guy: Did it hurt? Girl: Did what hurt? Guy: When you ascended from the depths of hell and broke through the earth's crust?

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He: Do you like aardvarks? She: No. He: Neither do I, I'm Harold...

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the most beatiful woman I have ever seen, so could you move out the way please

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-Hey girl, is your father in prison? Because if I was your father, I'd be in prison.

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Intro music with slow motion running starts as I shut off the tv forever

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Man: Put your face over my fist as I say shinku Woman: Huh? Ok whatever.... SHOOOOOOOOOORYUKEEEEEEN!

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i am with stupid l l l \/

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Male: Man, if we were married... Female: What? We'd make beautiful children? Male: No, I'd leave your sorry, and ungrateful ass and make you stay with the kid.

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I heard this one in real life in Spain, pretty good one: Man: Please marry me! I am nothing without you! Woman: If you are worth nothing then why should I want you? Man: Uh... Moral: Its a great honor having a dedicated group of followers making sure my comments always have red thumbs, thanks to this my sociology studies are complete. My thanks to every azzhole out there.

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Real life again: I was about sixteen: Girl: Hey I hear you are good at tekken tag! Me: Yeah, but I dont play videogames anymore (a lie in order to appear "cooler") Girl: I am pretty good too! I love Kuma and Panda Me: Well, okay... Girl: Want to play with me? Me: Meh... Girl: But I really want to play with you if you know what I mean ;) Me: I dont play tekken... Girl: Not even... "Tekken" ;) ;) Me: Nah... Moral: I am a late bloomer to say the least...

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Him: I've got something that will fill you up. Her: Sorry, I'm looking for a meal, not an appetizer.

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Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning? Woman: Unfertilised.

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Why do cops eat donuts so much? Because they are delish

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If I could rearrange the period table, I would put Uranium and Iodide together ;)

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Guy: Where have you been all my life? Girl: In my room hiding from you.

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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