Adventures of Drunken man with standards 2: Man: Well you are kinda uh... big for me... no offense lady, I mean you are sexy but you are... well fat.. in fact you are TRUCKING HUGE! and I have standards, HIGH STANDARDS ACTUALLY... but since you are so charming and have such a great personality... I guess we can go for it... Kid: Mommy... what is that naked man doing to that blimp? Moral: Standards... we all got them... they are invisible for a reason though...

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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You smell just like my mom...

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(this is only funny if ur a guy!) you go to a party im a man you get a drink im a man you laugh with friends im a man u see a hot chick im a man you invite her over to ur place im a man you go up in the bedroom im a man you go to pull her pants off im a man and she says... im a man!

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- Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? - No but I scraped my knees when I climbed up from hell

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-Are you an angel? -Yeah...actually I am. I remember you-aren't you the guy that fell out of heaven? So THAT'S why your face is so screwed up.

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- Have we met? - Honey, we're not meeting now.

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Pee extra hard in a urinal when there's someone else in the bathroom so you don't seem weak

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-You wanna get laid tonight? -You wanna never have sex again?

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Is your dad a terrorist?? 'Cause you're a sex bomb.

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You dont need makeup, plastic surgery is really cheap nowadays!

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-Hey, have we met before? -No, because I don't remember ever seeing a face that made me this nauseous.

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Hey, are you an angel? Because you smell like you've been dead for a while

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Boy:Nice hair Girl: (removes the wig) there you go! have fun

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My friend and I flipped a coin to see who will ask you out and I won.

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He: Will we have sex tonight? She: Yes, only I don't know with who you will.

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Man - I know I don't look like much now, but I'm drinking milk. Woman - Not mine!

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girl - holy sausage! boy - what happen! girl - i broke my foot! boy - oh!

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Hey baby, can I cream in your chocolate?

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Man- Hey, baby, wanna come back to my house for some pizza and sex? Woman- No! Man- What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

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hey i know spanish french german russian and Punjabi. got a talented tongue ;)

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fancy going halves on a bastard?

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Are you cute? Because lets go get taco bell.

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


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