Your father must have been a theif, because you look like a pikiey

thumb_up thumb_down -67

You're so beautiful you could be a tree... Or a high class prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down +88

Hey you've got the most beautiful f*cked up teeth I've ever seen.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Put the lotion on the skin!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

At a bar... sigh... Woman: Hey cutie wanna go home? "Man" hello I am twelve... what is this? Moral: Hello I am eight... what is this?

thumb_up thumb_down +101

girl, are you a christian? Sure... Do you believe in me? I dont even know you! Well, met God? No? You love him!

thumb_up thumb_down -80

My dog just died so now you're my only Bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Hey, I may not be too smart, I may not have a big dick, I may not be strong nor cool, but at least I uh...

thumb_up thumb_down -126

that shirt looks nice on you, it would look better on the floor

thumb_up thumb_down +47

At a bar: Man: Hi according to horsehead network I am the third most useless "invention" in the world! Moral: See what I did there? No? Then go see the pointless inventions section :P

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Man: Dayuuuum *slaps ass* Woman: I just took a shit in my pants and you smacked it.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

I have a really big..... Bank Account

thumb_up thumb_down +117

Dating tips 101: First you find a girl that likes you. Then you realize no girl likes you. Moral: Lesson done.

thumb_up thumb_down +147

-how much do i have to pay you to **** me? -how much do i get for taking you back to the zoo?

thumb_up thumb_down +118

Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

thumb_up thumb_down +184

Boy:can i go out with you? Girl: no

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Damn, girl, you're hot... You look just like my mom.

thumb_up thumb_down +142

Do you believe in love at first sight or do I need to beat you again?

thumb_up thumb_down -42

- If i could rearange the alphabet i'd puit you and i together. - That's not necessary because N and O are already together.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I have one thing to say to all the woman who look at me as a sex object. Hey.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's your favorite condiment? Mine's mayonaise.

thumb_up thumb_down +171

I DROPPED MY LAPTOP IN THE RIVER IT WAS ADELE ROLLING IN THE DEEP ( A DELL ROLLING IN THE DEEP)

thumb_up thumb_down -76

Guy : Hey, there's a party in my pants. Wanna join? ;] Girl : Can't, I'm allergic to crabs.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

- Do you wanna play the rape game? - NO! - That's the spirit!

thumb_up thumb_down +167

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!