guy:do you know how much a polar bear weighs? girl: ..no, how much?? guy:i dunno but probly not as much as you

thumb_up thumb_down -30

"Hey, I have the feeling i've seen you before somewhere..." "Well, could be, I used to be a porn actress.

thumb_up thumb_down +98

man:hey can you help me look for my dog i lost him in this cheap motel room girl: oh really i didnt know rotten garbage like you actully a had a friend even if it is a pet!

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The anti part of below comment, may be the fact that its going to get thumbed down to Hades. Moral: They see me rollin, they envious... women that look like supermodels that work as jurists dont come easy... unless you are Moral Man. *Plays moral man theme* (Character inspired by Salvador Dali, I mean what greater inspiration than the man that celebrated each day as he woke up in the body and mind of the greatest man ever? Me? Same, but I also wake up next to the greatest woman ever.)

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You're too easily offended. I cannot believe you said that.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

You look exactly like my sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

I'd take you to the zoo but you might be mistaken for an elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +17

NO WAIT SON ITS 999 FUCK COME ON! DONT GO "NERO SAYS WITH ME SON!" I mean that shit you pull on everyone, come on man, I posted wrong... Yeah your word is law and all that So can we like make a deal? You pay my repair wreck of a car and you can slash the damn tires yourself if you wanna later?

thumb_up thumb_down -91

Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

thumb_up thumb_down -55

Hey this is crazy and I just met you so here's the kitchen a sandwich maybe?

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Man... MAN! Sorry if I just skimmed that last message dude, but if you getting me that shit, you are my fucking God, you got a new custom engine or something? Whatever man, im getting over there right now, Son, I might actually try the towing trick, because that might make me arrive at your place (no worries wont tell anyone where your playboy mansion is at) but you still got it there right? MORAL MORAL MORAL MORAL... Oh and no, id never ever use that piece of shit I used to call a car in the forest, if you are serious man, ill take the damn cab! I mean man, I just cant wait to tell the beardy little faggot at the carshop to stick that yeah "car" up his gay ass! Seriously dude, my phone aint working but that can wait, you really mean I can have the car? Seriously, how much? I got some money.

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Hi, my name is Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Girl, you must be a parking ticket. Because you got 'Please pay within 30 days. Failure to do so you will face prosecution at the local court.' written all over you.

thumb_up thumb_down +134

-I like my woman like I like my coffee... without a penis

thumb_up thumb_down -31

-hey, come here a minute.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Well there's the exit, will you go out with me?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Damn girl! You`re fat and ugly! its ok though, cuz Im desperate!

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A 85 year old man was at a bar, he goes up to the first hot thing he sees and asks do I come here often?

thumb_up thumb_down +113

Why couldnt susie see out her window? She was not home, see was to busy drowning in the ocean.

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Him: Nice legs. What time do they open? Her: Members only, I'm afraid,

thumb_up thumb_down -100

At a bar. M: I so wanna sex you! W: What? :) M: What part of sex did you not get? VAGINA! W: You have problems with your heart? (angina) :( M: Stop screwing with me bitch! W: I dont have no itch... :/ *The man gets insulted and leaves* Woman: Cute guy, I wish I wasn't nearly deaf though... Moral "patience is a virtue?" Hell no! The guy got laid with 6 women that day so the moral is "The more people listen to what you have to say, the more you will get laid this day, and a deaf woman is a challenge if she aint your way"

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Shall I compare you to a summer's day? Damn you're hot!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I right next to each other. You say that you want me? Well don't what you come for!!

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Nice Shirt. It would look better on my bedroom floor.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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