- you come here often? -i used to until you came here

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-I love you.

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"Hey baby, how do you like your eggs in the morning?" "Unfertilized."

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HE: You must have some hot buns. SHE: Yeah? HE: Cause you got a real butterface to go with them.

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"Hey can I get your number?" "-12 Like the inches of your dick."

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Guy - Do you want to go outside and play rape? Girl - No, Guy - That's the spirit

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"Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?" "Yes. I ruptured my bowels upon impact."

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- I can make your bed rock. - Oh yeah? An earthquake can too..

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Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

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Man: GET IN THE VAN! Woman: NO! Man: Well... How about the Limo? Its got beverages and caviar and... Woman: OOH :D Moral: Always go for the limo first,

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Male: I'd give her one Female: I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last person on earth Male: I was rating you out of 10 you ugly bitch

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Real life: Me at age 17 or something after sex... Me: Thank you! The girl gives me an ugly look left and I never saw her again (whatever she was fugly) Moral: For real guys, never EVER thank a girl for sex!

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Man: Hello there young lady, I am Elton John and I would very much like to have sex with you! Girl: OMG ITS... Wait! Wow you look a lot like him! But you cannot be real lol *leaves* Man: Man... I look and dress just like him! What could have gone wrong? Man getting the operation cost me a fortune too! Next time I am gonna try Freddie Mercury! Moral: "Dats gay Fifthy cen... I mean Gangstalicious!"

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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- Did you fall from heaven? - No, I dug my way up from Hell.

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Hey baby, you're really hot, I like girls with some meat for my bone.

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male:hey what that between your leggs female: my sisters penis

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Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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-I'm addicted to yes, and I'm allergic to no. So what's it gonna be? -I'll start dialing 911 for you now.

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Did you just fart? Cause it smells like shit in here

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-hey, come here a minute.

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Wanna come home to my star destroyer and play with my lightsaber? No? How about just a trip down the Enterprise bridge to have fun with my romulans?... if you know what I mean? ;) ;)

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You're gorgeous! Can you smell that? Oh god it's awful!

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Okay, now one where I actually succeeded okay? I know this is not like "goodpickuplines.com nor anything but hey... She: I used to have the nicest goldfish. Me: I got one myself. She: Really? Is it at your place? Me: Duh! She: Lol can we go see it? Me: Sure!... Oh wait... Oh, it died last week :( She: Can we like you know... still go see it? ;) *That sound you get when you score a billion billions on an arcade machine*

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!