I have the smallest erected dick in town, if you don't believe me ask my mama!

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So you want tonight to be consensual or not?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to the other side.

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can i take a dump in your mouth?

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Hey, Are You From Tennessee, Because Your License Plate Says Tennessee.

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Do you like a trimmed bush? Because I'm a gardener. Here's my business card, call me, seriously I need the work.

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Young man: Hey I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so I wondered if you wanna come home and have hardcore sex and... Mature woman: HOW CAN YOU SAY SUCH A THING! IM YOUR MOTHER! Young man: As I said mom... I have watched a lot of Hentai lately so... Moral: Hentai keeping families together since forever...

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hey did you fall from heaven? because my car is all smashed up.

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I scream, You scream, The Police come, It's Awkward...

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Me. Would you like me to get you a ring for valentines day? Girlfriend: Nothing would make me happier! So I got her nothing...

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Billy Hill: Man...THAT WAS GOOD SEX! I am glad I did not just bring one of those bitches that I usually drag home, your great Currie... great pussy! Ok Currie time to go home! Currie: meow... Moral: And you think that by bitches he meant bad women ahahahahha... BIlly Hill! Ring a bell nao?

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Guy:I invented troll face oh yea! Girl:you gave my daughter nightmares for weeks you b****!(throws drink in face)

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-Your feet must be tired 'cuz you've been running through my mind. -Yea, I was running away from you.

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Do you know karate... 'Cause I wanna know if you can fight back!

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Can you leave your door unlocked and your underwear drawer open when you go to work?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a boyscout? The boyscout returned from camp.

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your so beautiful im blinded! aww really?! no. i was kidding. im just blind.

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Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.

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Your butt is so big that I would propably lose intrest during sex.

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adam burdass

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On a scale from one to ten, you're about a two.

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imgonna r@pe you

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Superman: I bet I can bang you faster than the speed of light! Woman: OOOOH! OK DO IT! Superman... uh... I already did it 30 times already... "pant" "pant" Woman: uh... really? Uh... was I suppose to feel anythi... Moral: Since when has fast sex been good sex?

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-What's your favorite color? -bl... -mine too! Let's f***

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!