M: Wanna play dynamite? W: what's that? M: I lie on my back and you blow the sh** out of me.

thumb_up thumb_down +196

Have you heard of that new movie "Other People"? Cuz thats what i wanna see.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Man: May I have this dance? Woman: Take it, it's all yours [goes away]

thumb_up thumb_down -41

- Lets get outta here and have some fun - If you got your fathers dick....no

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Dude: Do you have insurance on you ass? Gal: Why? Dude: Because Im about to hit it. Gal: I hope you have insurance on your face (punch).

thumb_up thumb_down -78

Male - Your a sight for sore eyes Female - And your a sight that causes sore eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +161

Hey baby, are you Star Trek? Because I watch you every night in the darkness.

thumb_up thumb_down +146

-hey girl, you must be a pirate cause you got a lot of booty

thumb_up thumb_down +107

I thought you were cute, so the voices told me to come say hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -51

Man: Hey I am the hunk that writes the stories with morals, and I thumb them up myself... since they mostly get thumbed down slower that way... Ladies: REALLY! WOW WE NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD MEET A CELEBRITY! LETS HAVE AN ORGY! Man: HEY! LADIES WAIT WAIT! ONLY 8 AT THE TIME! HELP I AM GETTING GRAPED!... Anyway who am I kidding please proceed but stop fighting over the joystick I have enough joy to all thanks to my writing progress!¨ Moral: His-tory AKa My-Story, and you know that they say that the winners are the one to write history ;), and if you do not know what I mean, you are probable banging me too right now... (true story)

thumb_up thumb_down -53

"Don't scream"

thumb_up thumb_down +100

Roses are red, Violets are blue, The holocaust was a disaster, and so are you.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

Like my status for a tbh? Cause to be honest you are the prettiest girl I ever met ;) Like MY status for a tbh? cause to be honest, thats old and No one gets on Facebook. Twitter all the way :p Oh did I say prettiest? I meant b*tchiest you are horrible at comebacks. So your dumb too! -__________-

thumb_up thumb_down -33

wanna go halves on a b*stard?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

-I know you want to ask me out. I am free anytime. -Ok, then go out.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

McDonald's isn't the only thing that is super-sized...

thumb_up thumb_down +149

Would you like to be the lone mother of my children?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

-Hey baby, what's yo sign? - U Turn

thumb_up thumb_down -27

In a classy bar: KEEP IT CLASSY! Man: Hello there dear... your eyes sparkle like the sun itself... Woman: Oh... thank you random stranger, that is the most beautiful thing someone have ever said to me :D Man: Really? But you are gorgeous (the two proceed to have a long CLASSY conversation and laughing in a classy reserved matter and drinking classy champagne and whatever... and then: Man: Ahahaha yes that is indeed true... By the way... would you mind becoming the single lonely mother of my children? Moral: skipped most of school classes... class ... overrated...

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Man- How much do 2 polar bears weigh? Woman- I don't know? Man- Enough to break the ice, heyy.(;

thumb_up thumb_down +64

Hey baby. Do you drive a slug bug on a rainbow? If so, I'll drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +78

Man: DTF Cutey? Woman: DTF off Asshole?

thumb_up thumb_down -83

Man: Do you like a sensitive guy? Women: Yeah, I used to be one.

thumb_up thumb_down -60

Every kiss begins with K. Except for ugly, that begins with U.

thumb_up thumb_down -106

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!