- Anti-Pickup Line

Am I having a erection or am I just glad to see you? Moral: My d1ck in my hand is HARDly a better option than my d1ck in a bush.

Guy: Hi, I am sexually attracted to you. May I walk over to the bar and purchase you a drink and then another and then another untill you become intoxicated and more likely to allow me to have sexual intercourse with you? Girl: You speak funny. Get lost.

men: Do you ride horses, because I'd let you ride me all night!

Did anyone ever tell you you smell like Catalina? Did anyone ever tell you you smell like a cat?

Male - Hey girl, do you want to dance? Female - No. Male - C'mon, lower your standards a little....I did.

Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

So I saw you walk into the bar from the scope of my rifle and I was wondering if you'd enjoy some unconsentual sex in the back of my van?

Guy- I would do anything for you. Women- I wouldn't do you for anything!

Yeah you got me there dude, you really got my bragging rights... I am here with some "just" (nothing special) friend of my wife, that is wearing me out as she wont get off my Swagger, but while mentioning it like this makes me just as depraved as her... Gotta say, woman pleading me to get jumping on my cock, while my wife makes us breakfast... ...Im done being the king, im a fucking God. Anyway, "Eriksen" (you know who I mean) is pissed at me because I was supposed to be at work, and he apparently spends time here looking for me when he knows I am getting down and... Man this woman needs the cock... I mean at this rate she will bang me to death... ...But what a way to go. But seriously, would I really be at work, and allow you to come get my/now your car from garage whose walls are so paper thin that the police and securitas would be on your ass if I was not at least nearby? (well securitas are lazy, but as a lawyer, I benefit from suing them... Again) There are like eight alarms there, and you so gangsta you would get jailed. UPDATE: Punches, not slaps, remember the guy who punched that sweet chick when he got drunk, and then you punched me down and I got up and broke your jaw? Yeah that shit stings still, Five punches, at any time (no haymakers hey, I know my haymakers/uppercuts) but you take five punches... The fuck am I talking to, whigs is here already... Moral: I wont just write this shit just to make it all disappear with a delete button, fuck, im a super sayan!

Man: Hey, you dont look that fucking ugly, wanna go home with me? mirror: shatters Moral: If your ugliness ever shatters your mirror let me know, ill look at it and it will assemble itself back on its own.

Do you work for UPS? 'Cause i could swear that you were checking out my package.

-Hey sit on my face and I will guess your weight

Man: So, what's your sign? Woman: Out to lunch. Back whenever!

Golf.

That outfit looks great on you.. .. It would look even better crumpled up in a pile in an evidence bag

Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

Man enters bar and does a lot of magic tricks, all the prettiest women are extremely impressed: Girls: WOW! We would do anything to see more of that! Guy: Uh... damn I forgot what to do after this... Moral: Screw the game man, its a stupid book, just be your moronic self and someone will like you for the lovely disgusting moron that you are... by the way you lost the game :D

Hello, it's nice to meet you.

Girl: You know I've never kissed a boy....... Boy: Me too

Him: Did it hurt? Her: Did what hurt? Him: When you fell from the whore tree and banged everyone on the way down

Damn you look good in beer goggles.

Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Shorts and pants compilation: Hey you a cheap prostitute or just out of my league? Hey mom I just watched some more hentai today and wonder if you would... Why are you screaming? Its just me naked with a boner! According to hentai its completely natural! I mean I am getting to do you when I turn eighteen right? No? You are a horrible mother! I am so telling dad you wont give it up! Bitch, you like men that beat you up while fucking you? You do? Oh, my! This is like too freaky too me! runs out girlie screaming Dad, I watched some other hentai today and, I wonder if you... Moral: Pants, there you go.

Are you a parking ticket? Cause you got fine written all over you.

Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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