i would traval the earth for you. well then im going to the moon.

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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-Hey, do you have a cat? -Why do you ask? -Because I'd love to pet your pussy. -Well, that makes two of us.

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-Do you mind if i smoke? -No. I dont even mind if you burn....

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Hey baby, I wanna solve your equation with longggg devision! ;)

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Guy: Your eyes are like the stars. Girl: Is it because the way they sparkle? Guy: No because they are really far apart.

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Guy: Have you ever been surfing? Girl: No; Yes Guy: Wanna surf in my jizz?

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Your eyes are the color of my toilet water.

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Girl, did it hurt when you got dragged up all the way from hell? Moral: The hell with morals!

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Jack is riding his new yellow bicycle. His father bought it for his 12th anniversary. Jack is ecstatic to have his first ride down his street. Erick thinks its ugly.

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“Why, look at me. I've worked my way up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.” ? Groucho Marx

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Her: Guess what? Him: What? Her Yo Mama! Him: Is she that slut i did last night?

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M: You make me wanna be a terrorist! W: Why? M: I so wanna blow on you right now...

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What do you do for a living?" "I'm a professional athlete." "Oh really? What sport do you play?" "Golf.

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He: pick a number between 1 and 10 Her: 8 He: you lose take your top-off!

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Do you believe in love at first hear? Because ive never dated a blind chick before.

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Are your parents retarded? Because you're something special

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Hey, does this smell like chloroform to you?

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Nice legs what time do they open

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boy: you remind me of the 20 letters of the alphabet girl: there's 26 boy: how could I forget U R A Q T girl: that's 5 boy: you can get the D later girl: you mean the V?

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"Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!" "My parole officer would go nuts!"

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Are you cold? Because you're just not hot.

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Guy: Would you like to dance? Girl: no Guy: Good! Because I have to go take a shit!

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Do you have an STD? No. DO you want one??

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!