Your teeth remind me of a song Which one? Black and Yellow

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roses are red violets are blue My dog gives me a bigger orgasm then you

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Male: It's super hard and long. Female: I have always been under the impression that the GED is relatively simple.

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I've got a black belt in lovin'.

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What happens when a drunk swedish man prank calls 911 from a local bar? The ambulance comes

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A Kid goes to Band Camp and comes back noticeably better at the Trumpet.

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Guy: Are you looking for a hot, sexy, fertile young man? Girl: No thanks, I used to be one.

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The word of the day is legs, Lets go upstairs and spread the word.

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Guy: Have you ever been to Thailand? Girl: No Guy: Well maybe I should take you to Bangkok

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Guy: Roses are red Violets are blue Girl:Violets aren't blue there violet... dumbass read a book

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Man: Comon babe a little BJ wont hurt anyone get down..... Woman: sorry im alergic to peanuts

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Hey i got a job for you. But it blows.

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- Yo baby can I have your number? - Sure! My number is one *sticks up middle finger*

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Do you have a mirror in your pants, because it looks like you have a dick.

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-how much does a polar bear way. -half as much as you (for fat girls)

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A cat falls into a pool and a rooster laughs. Moral of the story, a wet p**** makes a happy c***

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my girlfriend is really insecure about her weight so much so that I'm thinking about detaching the reverse alarm

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I hope you want kids, cause i've left my condoms at my girlfriends place.

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hey baby, are you on your menstrual cycle? No i came on my honda!

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Hey you should let me have sex with you! Why? Because I'm going to do it anyway!

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Guy enters a bar: Guy: I have some really bad self-esteem and would really apreciate if someone would give me a chance and... Gorgeous woman: Hey, I would love to get to know you, and maybe take you home and... Guy: WHAT? THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN TO ME! I CANT HANDLE IT! HEEEEEEEEEEELP! (Runs out of bar screaming)

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- I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true. - First wish: don't speak ever again.

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-You smell nice Thanks....... -Have you ever thought of turning your sweat into perfume?

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!