Muslim guy: "Hey can I get your number?" Chick:"Nine eleven"

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Man: You like nice guys? ;) Woman: No. Man: *bitchslap* get down on you`re knees and suck me bitch!

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You smell just like my mom...

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You're place or mine? Both, you go to yours and I go to mine.

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-What's your name sexy? -Taken!

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- So, wanna go back to my place? - Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?

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-What sign were you born under? -No Parking.

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My penis just died. Can I bury it in your ass?

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Me 17 years old: Hey, girl, you are hot how old are you? Girl: 14. Me: What but you have enormous... Never mind, uh nice evening huh?... My friend: Big boobs on er huh? I would have hit on her too had it not been for... Me: Shut up... Crap! Moral: That was a crappy day!

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Hey baby me you CHOIN CHOIN under the moonlight..

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roses are red, violets are blue, my toe hurts.

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You don't sweat much for a fat girl, do ya?

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Q: How did the baby cross the road A: He was stapled to the chicken

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HERE COMES NERO! Ladies get your red thumbs ready, guys... Fuck off with all due respect.. To the ladies. Me: Who am I? Woman: Nobody as far a I care... Me: :D MORAL: I am Nobody, Nobody is PERFECT!

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man: would u please me with a blowjob girl: cant u be romantic ? man: would please me with a blowjob at the sunset

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Criminals are even more smarter these days My wife woke me up in the middle of the night and said that there were burglars downstairs so I went quietly looking for them when I realised I'm not married

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Man: "Are you a parking ticket? 'Cos you have fine written all over you!" Woman: "Are you an a**hole? 'Cos you're hairy and you smell like s**t!"

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Male: (Pulls Female in close, strokes her hair, and mutters 'My precious' over and over to himself)

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"Do you know what my shirt is made of? Boyfriend material." "I'm vegan."

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"Hey did I not meet you at the singles and desperates club?"

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Don't worry, I love fat birds....why are you crying?

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Are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.

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-Hey cutie, how 'bout you and I hitting the hot spots? -Sorry, I don't date outside my species.

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Him. "I'd sure like to get into your pants." Her. "No thanks. One asshole in my pants is my limit."

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Anti-Pickup Line

A collection of responses to pickup lines, and just bad ones in general!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!